Luke finally reached out to Chris, getting his new number from Chris’s mom and they had kept in touch over the past few years. Every time Chris came to the San Francisco area, he asked Luke to get together and he had always found some lame excuse not to see him. Luke wasn’t above lying and coming up with last-minute trips to get out of seeing Chris seemed to be his go-to move. The truth was that if he saw him again, he wouldn’t want to let him walk back out of his life. He had dated other men and women, for that matter, but he found that he compared them to Chris—the one who got away and that wasn’t fair to any of them. He needed to have some kind of closure with Chris and going to his birthday party was going to be that for him. Hopefully, he’d start the New Year with a fresh outlook on life and maybe even love. He needed to let go of the past and to do that, he would have to face Chris and apologize to both him and Winter for being an ass.
His cell rang and he wiped the grease off his hands with a rag and grabbed his phone. Luke had spent most of the morning under the hood of a vintage Mercedes 280SL. It was one of his favorite cars and he loved working on this one. Getting paid to do so was just a bonus but owning his own mechanic’s shop gave him those luxuries. He specialized in vintage cars and when one like this rolled in, he felt just like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Lo,” he said into the phone.
“Hey, Luke.” The familiar voice on the other end of the line made his body feel as though it hummed to life.
“Hi Chris,” Luke all but choked. They didn’t spend a lot of time on the phone talking—usually opting to text but hearing Chris’s voice made him long for things that he knew could never be again.
“Got your R.S.V.P back and I’m happy you’ll be able to make it,” Chris said. Luke squinted at the phone, holding it away from his ear, not sure if he believed his old friend. Chris sounded more unsure than happy about seeing Luke again and he wondered what that was all about.
“Okay,” Luke said. “You call all your party guests to thank them for their response and tell them you are looking forward to seeing them?” Luke asked, giving Chris a hard time.
“No,” Chris breathed. “Listen—I’m not sure how to say all of this, so just try to let me get it all out, and then you can hang up on me.”
“Well, shit,” Luke grumbled, “that doesn’t sound like a promising start to a phone conversation, man,” he teased.
Chris sighed into the other end of the line, “It probably isn’t but I needed to talk to you before we got back into town.”
“We?” Luke questioned.
“Yeah—Winter and me. I told you that we both live in Los Angeles now, right?” he asked. Luke nodded and then realized Chris couldn’t see him.
“Yes,” he said. “I heard. You two together?” Luke asked. He didn’t care that he was asking such a personal question. He knew how Winter and Chris felt about each other. Hell, he knew it back in high school but neither of his friends had the guts to cross the line back then.
“Yes,” Chris said. Luke felt his entire stomach drop at Chris’s admission. He wanted him to say that he wasn’t with anyone and that he wanted to give Luke another chance but why would he? He didn’t ask for one and he definitely didn’t deserve one. “But, that’s why I’m calling.”
“To tell me that you’re with Winter? I’m happy for you—both of you,” Luke lied.
Chris barked his laugh into the other end of the call, “You’ve always been a fucking awful liar,” Chris accused. “How about you do what I asked when I first called? Give me a chance to explain everything before you get yourself worked up, man,” Chris said.
“Fine, I have a few minutes but that’s about it. I’m working on a car and the owner expects it back today,” he lied again.
Chris chuckled, “All right, Luke. I’ll try to make this fast.” Luke sat down at his desk, wiping the rest of the grease from his hands, and trying to keep his mouth shut and his patience intact. He was never very good at doing either but he owed it to Chris to at least hear him out.
“I’m with Winter and that’s a new update. We hooked up for the first time last night. But, there’s more,” Chris said. Luke sat up on his chair and listened, not able to help himself from asking his question.
“You two never hooked up before last night?” Luke asked.
Chris sighed into the phone again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that tonight and Luke had a pretty good idea that he was the reason why. “No,” Chris grumbled, “listening hasn’t ever been your forte man,” he chided.
“Sorry,” Luke offered. He sat back in his chair and waited for Chris to go on with his story.
“I won’t ever be happy with her,” Chris admitted.
“Shit,” Luke interrupted. “You can’t do that to her, Chris. It’s not fair to string her along if you don’t want to be with her.”
“That’s the thing, Luke—I want to be with her. Hell, I’m in love with her, and I know she feels the same way about me but I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life with one person.”
“Monogamy not your thing?” Luke asked.
“That has nothing to do with this. Being bi, I always felt like I was two people. I felt like I was giving up a part of myself to be with either a woman or a man—you know what I’m saying?” Chris asked. Luke knew exactly what Chris was saying because he felt the same way. When he was with a woman, he felt incomplete and when he was with a man—same deal. Luke often wondered if he’d ever find one special person to settle down with and he was pretty sure that answer was a resounding no.
“You tell Winter that, Chris? Please don’t tell me that you want to have a guy on the side because I’ve done that to a woman and it didn’t turn out well for me,” Luke admitted. In fact, the woman damn near killed him, trying to run him over with her car. Yeah—that was a shitshow and one he’d sooner forget.
“Yeah,” Chris said. “I heard about that. My mother sent me the newspaper stories about the trial. I hear they put that woman away for ten years.” They had and Luke was grateful but he still felt like a douche for cheating on her.
“It was my fault—I walked a fine line and fell off it. She had every right to be pissed at me, she just took it too far,” Luke admitted. “So, where are you going with all of this, Chris. So far, I’ve gotten that you and Winter are together, hooked up for the first time last night, and you’re in love with her but she’ll never be enough for you. That about sum it up?” Luke asked.
“Yes,” Chris breathed. “Well, all except the part where I want you too. I want you back in my life and God—I want you in my bed, Luke.” Hearing Chris admit that he wanted him, made him happier than he had been in a damn long time, but Luke liked Winter and hurting her by jumping into their relationship wasn’t something he was willing to do.
“I can’t be your guy on the side, Chris. I won’t do that to Winter,” Luke said.
“Good because I wouldn’t do that to her either. I was thinking you could be our guy in the middle—you know, between both Winter and me,” Chris said. Luke held his phone from his ear again and studied it as if he didn’t understand the words coming from the other end.