CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
NOAH
Could he forgive him? Should he forgive him? What in the actual fuck did he just walk into back there? Noah had already started sobbing twice over. Phillip asked him if he wanted to be dropped off at Timothy’s grandmother’s house. Noah didn’t want to. He had nowhere else to go, though. It wasn’t like he could get on a plane, which made him realize that he would be stuck here for the rest of the week. They had a long way to go. Phillip suggested they go back to his house. He apparently lived with a single mother in a modest home. Apparently, modest meant ranch style because this house was definitely not modest.
Phillip handed him a glass of water, “Just in case you get thirsty. You’re breathing heavily. It might help,” he sat down next to him in bed.
“Why are you helping me out? I’m a stranger. On top of that, I’m Timothy’s boyfriend or was, or I don’t know,” Noah reminded him.
The boy shrugged, “This is going to sound really weird given the circumstances, but I feel like I’m doing it because Timothy does care about you. It’s a really poor choice of words, I know, but yeah,” he admitted.
It was sad, but Noah knew exactly what he meant. Timothy did care about him. Noah believed him one hundred and ten percent when he said he loved him earlier. Noah still believed it. His theory, though, was also a hundred percent correct. Timothy still loved Tara. It was a question of who he loved more if Noah could even forgive him. “Is he worth forgiving?” Noah asked.
“I mean, he is one of my best friends in the world. I’m obligated to say yes,” Phillip shrugged.
“Yes, I realize that. But like if you weren’t his best friend, would you be telling me the same thing?” Noah asked.
Phillip shuffled a bit, clearly uncomfortable, “I don’t think you need to forgive him a hundred percent right away. I do think you need to take things into perspective. How much do you care about him? Can you go on without him?”
If he answered point-blank in this particular second, he would say no, which is why Noah wasn’t going to answer it right away. “I love him. We both admitted that earlier tonight, and I believe him that he loves me. Until we came here, he never seemed to stray. It was only after Tara walked back into his life that things started to jump out as red flags.” Noah said.
“They have always been really close. I can’t deny that,” Phillip admitted.
“Which I suppose is understandable. It doesn’t excuse cheating on me, though,” Noah said. It shouldn’t. He felt that he deserved better. Noah wanted to believe that he did, at least.
There was a part of him that wanted to hurt Timothy right now. Phillip was sitting in bed next to him, and he wanted to kiss him just to make Timothy hurt. Yet, he wasn’t going to do that. All that would do is hurt Phillip in the long run and potentially end a lifelong friendship. He had known Timothy for months. Phillip had known him his entire life. Noah sighed, “Do you mind if I just take a nap?” Phillip nodded.
* * *
When he woke up the next day, it was morning. He had turned off his phone the night before, knowing that he was bound to have a thousand texts, which is exactly what he woke up to. Timothy had texted him so many times his phone would not stop buzzing.
Noah was still upset. He thought that when he woke up that things would just automatically go back to how they were. He was, unfortunately, wrong. Timothy still had cheated on him. His heart was still broken, and yet he couldn’t help but wonder if Timothy still loved him and if what he had said was actually true or just in the moment. Yet, if he had been lying, why lie, to spare Noah’s feelings? He could have easily said that he just wasn’t quite there yet with his feelings. Noah banged his head against the pillow.
The final text message poured in. It was from ten minutes ago. Please tell me you are alright. I love you. When he looked at the messages, more than half of them mentioned love. All this did was break Noah’s heart further.
Phillip finally woke up. “Are you ok?” he asked. The two had slept in his bed together. Noah honestly had forgotten that he had fallen asleep. He never intended to spend the night. Yet, he also never intended to go back to Timothy’s family home. He supposed he would have to. Noah guessed that he would have no choice. Timothy’s parents would start to question things, and as angry as he was at Timothy, he wasn’t going to have his parents start raising questions.
“I’m fine. I think I need to go back to Timothy’s grandma’s house.” Noah honestly wanted to spend more time with Phillip. It was weird he wasn’t sexually attracted to the boy in any way, shape, or form, but at the same time, he felt that in an alternate reality, they would have been best friends. Noah understood why Timothy was so fond of Phillip.
“Why don’t you and I get some breakfast before we do. I don’t want you going back angry and hungry at the same time,” Phillip said with a smile.
Food was the last thing on Noah’s mind right now, but he agreed.
* * *
The two boys ended up at a rather clean diner somewhere in town. Phillip made mention that this had always been a regular spot for himself with Collin and Timothy. Noah would bet big money that it also meant Tara, at least sometimes as well. He didn’t care. He was ready for this entire week to be over, but of course, it was only Tuesday.
They had ordered, and then the front door opened. Noah honestly wasn’t shocked that Phillip had called Timothy but even so. “Hi,” his apparent boyfriend said.
Noah rolled his eyes and looked down, “Hi.”
Phillip got up. “I’m going to go and make a call,” he went outside.
“I know you hate me,” Timothy said as he sat down. He just flat out said it.
“I don’t hate you,” Noah bluntly stated. He wanted to hate him. He should have hated him. Yet, he still loved him. “I love you,” Noah said with anger in his voice. “I don’t want to love you, but when you are really in love and not just infatuated, you just don’t fall out of love.”
Timothy nodded at this, “I really want things to work out between us. I wanted that experience to be with you. It was just very easy for me to fall back into things with Tara. I was with her practically my entire life in some way or another.
“You have to understand, you’ve seen my group of friends. It is practically non-existent. My first sexual experience with some guy who didn’t care about me, and truth be told, I didn’t care about him. It was just something to do.” Noah wasn’t really sure where he was going with this but hoped that Timothy would come up with a response that he could use.
The taller boy took a deep breath, “So, you don’t think that sex means anything to you? I’m confused,” Timothy admitted.