So was Noah if he was really honest. He had never had a fight with a boyfriend because he had never had a boyfriend. Many of the girls he would casually hang around got cheated on all the time, usually within their same friend circle. “Pretty much what I said earlier. I don’t hate you. I just don’t know if I want to be around you anymore.” Noah said.
This clearly sunk Timothy’s heart, “I suppose I figured that this was where things were going to go. I just don’t know what to say or do. Like I said, the only other person I was ever with was Tara and the reason we broke up was that I was moving.”
Which pretty much was the real icing on the cake.
Timothy clearly would still be with the girl if he hadn’t moved. “Well, maybe you two can make long-distance work,” Noah pointed out.
“I don’t see a reality where that will happen. She said some really fucked up stuff after I came out to her last night,” he explained.
So, he did come out to her. Noah had kind of forgotten that was the point of them going upstairs. “What could she possibly have said?” Noah asked, almost unamused. Timothy turned white. Whiter than he normally was, “What did she say?”
“She asked if she was going to catch something after what happened. Tara didn’t say it out loud, but…”
It was pretty obvious what she was implying, “Tara is trash. Sorry to have to burst your bubble on that one. The fact that Collin, a straight guy, could understand your sexuality more than she could speaks volumes about her character. Then again, I suppose we aren’t in bumfuck Kansas right now. So, maybe guys are more open to things like gay people around here, and maybe not all girls think of gay guys as play toys. Maybe.”
Timothy buried his head into the table, “I do love you. Please know that.”
Noah got up from the booth, “Yes, I know that, and I believe you one hundred and ten percent. I’m just not convinced that we can be together. I still need time. I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TIMOTHY
Timothy spent the rest of Tuesday alone. Noah stayed out with Phillip most of the day, and Timothy sat in the attic room, staring at the wall. Tara had tried to text him a few times, saying she was sorry and that he was taking what she said out of context. Part of him wanted to believe that was true, but part of him knew that it didn’t really matter. He and Tara were broken up, and he and Noah were in some weird gray area.
He didn’t know what he could do or not do to fix things. Timothy loved Noah. It was the most natural thing in the world for him to say. “I’m in love with Noah Peters…, Noah and Timothy Peters, Timothy and Noah Powel.” They might have been seventeen years old, but he already knew what the end game was for them. At least he thought he had known.
There was a knock at the door. “Come in,” Timothy said. It was his father Leo. “Yes?” Timothy asked, confused.
“I was just wondering if you were still home. Where is Noah?” Leo asked.
“Um… Just taking a walk with Phillip,” he explained. Timothy assumed that it could be the truth.
Leo nodded and went to sit at the edge of the bed, “So, are you enjoying being back home?”
Timothy didn’t know. It felt good to be in misery, where he knew everyone. Those first few weeks in Kansas before Noah, it was just dreadful. He didn’t want to leave the house for anything unless he really had to, “It’s been nice, I suppose.”
His father gave him this weird look, “You and Noah are pretty close friends. This is going to be hard for me to ask you…”
Was his father really about to ask him if he was dating Noah? This wasn’t a great time, “What do you mean?” Timothy stuttered to get out.
“Kansas was a concept that made sense in our heads. Well, my head, and I see how happy your mother has been here. I know how miserable she was in Kansas. The job was only supposed to last a year anyway. Since the house is no longer being rented, I think your mother and you should move back in. I’ll stay at the house in Kansas until the end of next August. You enjoy your senior year with those boys and Tara,” Leo explained.
It was as if his father was throwing a bag of bricks on his back. Leave Kansas right now? He couldn’t do that. Could he? This could be what he needed and yet no at the same time. It wasn’t as if he could take Noah with him. This was the worst possible time for something that would have been good news otherwise, “What if I wanted to stay in Kansas?”
Leo looked at him, confused, “You want to stay there?”
“I don’t know. I mean, Phillip and Collin will always be my friends. I’ve realized that with being away from them. I love having Noah in my life, though, and I don’t want to lose contact with him,” Timothy curled up in a little ball in the bed.
“I just want you and your mother to be happy. Why don’t you think about it for a few days? I’d rather not have your mother away from both of us, but I also know she really isn’t adapting to the Kansas lifestyle,” Leo explained. He patted his son on the shoulder and got up and left.
This was exactly what he needed, right. A choice between the life that he had always known and the life he wanted. If only the two worlds could bleed together. They would in a year but not if he left right now. No, if he left his new world, then it would be the death of his relationship with Noah. Noah couldn’t know this, though. Could he? Timothy already knew what the blond boy would say if he were to inform him of this news. It would be to go back here, and then he would act all passive aggressive. Regardless if Noah was pissed off at him. He knew that Noah wanted what was best for Timothy. Which, in his mind, clearly meant being around his loved ones.
The tall boy started laughing. He laughed so hard that he fell to his side. If anyone were to see what he looked like right now, they might think he was having a nervous breakdown. Was he having a nervous breakdown? Probably. He would deal with that later.
So, many life-altering things had happened since he left Connecticut. Upon returning, only more crazy things had happened.
The door opened, and it was Noah. Timothy sat up in the bed. Noah came and sat down on the edge. “I love you,” he said.
Timothy’s heart sank, “I love you too and…” Noah put his hand on Timothy’s lips.
“I love you, and I just want this craziness to be over with. I’m willing to reboot our relationship today once we get back to Kansas. You just have to promise me that it will never happen again. If, for whatever reason, you feel yourself falling for someone else, whether it be another guy or a woman, please just tell me, and we will figure things out from there.” Noah looked Timothy in the eyes. “I guess there is a very tiny part of me that understands where you are coming from. I might not personally get it, but I suppose Phillip explaining things to me made it more real. You have some great friends.”