I stroke her forearm. “Ask me anything.”
“Why did you leave the SEALs . . . only to join another military group?”
I nod. It’s a fair question, and one she deserves the answer to. “They’d been developing the idea of a small, technologically sound and elite military unit for some time. One that would be less boots on the ground, more consultative with other nations. Occasionally, the group would be tapped for more active operations, like when Brian Murphy went to extract a diplomat from overseas. Or sometimes we lead clandestine intelligence-gathering missions. Usually, though, we’re there to train or mine data or conduct investigations or groom assets. I was handpicked to be commander. I couldn’t turn it down because . . . I love the military. I love serving this country, in spite of everything. I love knowing that my small contribution is helping keep our nation safe. I also love the camaraderie among servicemembers. I would have the chance to lead an elite group of operators, really make an impact with some of our missions overseas. And I wouldn’t have to deploy nearly as much. I wouldn’t have to do the things I did as a SEAL as frequently.” I pause for breath. “And I needed . . . a reason. A purpose.”
Devin nods. “As long as it was your choice. And you can leave anytime you want.”
“I can.” I smile wryly. “They wouldn’t be happy about it, but I can.” Then I remember the mission looming just two days away. Fuck. Just when it seems I have a new chance to build with Devin . . . That’s another thing she deserves to know.
“Before our night goes any further, I do want to let you know I have to leave again in two days,” I tell her. “It’s a three-week training mission in England. Pretty safe. But . . . I’ll be gone. I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I do want to be transparent. You don’t need to wait for me, whatever that means. You owe me nothing at all, and I have no right to ask.”
Devin sighs. “I’ve been waiting for you for three years. What’s three weeks?”
I meet her gaze. “Seriously, Devin, I—”
“Shh.” She rests a finger on my lips. “Look, Alex, when we were together, I would have laughed at a three-week deployment. I would have cried tears of joy for a three-week deployment. If you want to have me to come home to . . . you’ve got me.”
My throat tightens. I’ve never felt so humbled. “Having you to come home to would mean everything to me.”
“Then you’ve got me.” She smiles, her eyes glistening. “We don’t have to have all the answers right now, do we? All we need to know for right now and for the next three weeks is that . . . we love each other. Right?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “The rest . . . we’ll figure out together.”
The server approaches. “I’m very sorry to interrupt, but may I bring either of you some dessert?”
“Yes,” Devin says, never taking her eyes from mine. “To go, please.”
“Very good.” Smiling, the server slides away.
“To go?” I ask, my hand falling to her knee.
She nods, leaning close until her lips are a breath away. “We have a lot to make up for in two nights. Three years’ worth of time.”
6
Devin
There are a bunch of things people like to compare to riding a bicycle, for the purposes of illustrating how muscle memory works—driving. Swimming. Cooking.
You can add making love to your soulmate after a years-long absence to that list.
We return to my house with our desserts. It’s delicious, torturing foreplay to feed bites to each other as we talk about our love lives the past few years—notably, that neither one of us had one since we were together. I wouldn’t hold it against Alex if he had a partner or two, but he didn’t.
“Anything would have felt like a betrayal to you, to what we shared,” he tells me softly before licking cake cream from my fingertip. “Even though I thought I’d never have you again, I kept myself for you.”
I almost melt off the couch. “I felt the exact same way. There’s never been anyone else, Alex. No one but you.”
He draws my finger between his lips, teething before letting go. His eyes are intense in the flames of the three-wick candle on my coffee table. “No one? Not ever?”
I bite my lip, trembling, and squeeze my thighs together. “No one. Ever.”
He slides his hand up one of my thighs, skimming across it to slip between them. “You kept this for me?” His voice is low, rough, his hand warm.
I nod shakily. “It’s yours. Only yours. It’s only ever been yours. And will only ever be yours.”
With a low, chest-deep grunt, Alex leans toward me on my sofa until we’re pressed together. He lays one of my thighs across his lap, opening me slightly, while skimming his lips over my ear.
“Can I touch it?” he whispers.
I try not to nod too frantically.
I feel his lips curve against my skin as his fingers slip higher and higher until they find the lace that covers the spot I want him to touch most. He repeats the action over and over, making goosebumps ripple over my flesh and making me whimper with desire. He’s teasing me.
He hooks a finger into the waistband of my thong and runs it down along the seam until he can move the crotch out of the way. Then . . . his warm fingers brush against me with a stroke that has me keening and straining against me.
Alex growls in my ear. “So sensitive. And so very, very wet. Are you wet for me, baby?”
“You know I am,” I moan softly. Below my hip, I feel a hard bulge grow. It’s been a long time since I’ve had him, but Alex’s cock has always been a thing of beauty. Long, thick, velvety smooth. And he seems just as eager for me as I am for him. I massage him through his pants. “And this is for me.”
He lets out a low moan. “Only you.”
Alex slides two fingers inside me, and I come hard immediately with a startled cry, quaking in his arms. He pumps them in and out of me slowly, the wet sounds of my pussy desperately gripping his fingers each time they slide in to brush my G-spot.
“Come for me, baby,” he grunts in my ear. “Come all over my fingers.”
At the same time, he uses the pad of his thumb to massage my clit. The sensation is more than I can bear. My head drops back as another powerful climax explodes inside me.
“Take your pants off!” I gasp, maneuvering off his lap. I fumble to open his shirt as he quickly undoes his belt and lowers his zipper.
“Too fast?” he breathes as I rip my thong off. “I want to take my time with you.”
“Three years, Alex,” I gasp, tugging up the skirt of my dress.
I swing a leg over his lap, loving the way his teeth sink into his full bottom lip. I sink onto him, and we both cry out at the feeling. It’s strange, but it’s also familiar and wonderful, like coming home.
His thick cock stretches me as I slide down onto it. There’s nothing between us. There doesn’t need to be. I want Alex to make me his forever. I want his seed deep inside me. Having his baby would be an honor. It’s what I always thought would happen for us before.
Alex lets out a long, low groan, his jaw tight. When he’s fully seated inside me, he guides my face down to his, and for the first time in three years, our lips meet. I slide my tongue into his mouth as we moan and move together. We’re joined everywhere now.