Tears burned the corners of my eyes. “Neruda,” I whispered.
Grayson’s jaw clenched, his eyes burned, but slowly he stood. He paused before West, and some kind of wordless communication passed between them. West rolled his eyes and exhale, then, without another word, followed Gray out of the room. The doors shut behind them.
Twenty-Seven
GRAY
When I got back to my wing, Lottie was on the ground, white as a sheet. I rushed to her, but she waved me off.
“I’m fine.” She struggled to stand and despite what she’d said, I helped her to my couch.
“You need to tell me these things.”
As I said it, I felt like sludge.
Have you helped Lottie?
No, I hadn’t.
“Why are you here?” Lottie asked.
“This is my wing.”
“You snuck out last night. I thought you would go be with Story.” No emotion. Nothing.
I dragged two hands through my hair. “I should be taking you to the doctor. I want…” I worked my jaw. “I want to help you through this.”
“I’m fine. I’m sorry I came into your wing. It…” She took a breath, struggling to talk as she got to her feet. “It won’t happen again. I was trying to find a charger.”
Sweat beaded her brow.
I could barely stand to look at her.
I hate her for what she did to me.
And I hate her for what she’s made me.
“You can come into my wing. I owe you this much at least.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” The wrinkle in her brow deepened.
“You weren’t at dinner,” I said.
The only reason it bothered me was because it had brought undue attention on me.
“I…” Lottie swallowed, tugging at the sleeves of her dress. “My dress ripped. I had to find a new one…and I couldn’t in time.”
“You should have fucking told me. I’m—” I broke off.
What? The father of her child? The one planning to leave her and her child forever.
We sat in sticky silence.
“Why are you still standing?” I snapped. “Are you trying to kill the baby?” I went to her, holding her elbow as I carried her to her side of the wing.
Her face collapsed; I could physically see every muscle cave in. “Lottie, I’m—”
But all she said was a soft, “Right. You’re right.”
I led Lottie to her bed, and said no other word as I moved to leave her.
When I was with Story, I felt hope. Hope that we could get out of this gilded cage. When I was with Lottie, I felt hopeless.
“Grayson, I need to talk to you. I have to tell you something. I…” She bit her manicured thumb.
“Okay,” I promised, turning away from her. “Later.”
I was at the door when her voice stopped me. “She was murdered, wasn’t she?”
A lone seagull that hadn’t flown away for winter cawed outside somewhere in the blustery white.
“Josephine,” Lottie pressed. “She was murdered? I heard what happened. What’s going on, Grayson? Why do I feel like I’m the only one not in on the joke?”
I rubbed my forehead, turning back around to face Lottie. Whatever happened between us, she at least deserved to know the truth about this.
“We can talk to my mom,” Lottie said. “She’ll help us. I know she will.”
But then she went and said shit like that.
“Your mother?” I took a step to her. “What has your mother helped you with, Lottie?”
She flinched, hand covering her stomach. “They’re doing it for us. For our protection. This baby will unite our two families.” She spoke robotically.
There was a time when I thought Lottie was the purest soul on the planet, and now I didn’t know what the fuck she was.
“Your mother is one-fourth of the reason we’re here. If you think she doesn’t know Josephine was murdered, you’re not naive, you’re fucking stupid.”
Her lips parted.
“Shit, Lottie. I’m sorry—”
She put up a hand, her throat bobbing with tears, before spinning into her sheets and covering her face in the comforter.
I watched her a moment, then shut the door behind me.
STORY
My eggshell dress felt wrong, the morning late December light too sweet. Josephine wasn’t even twenty-four hours dead and paparazzi and glitterati had once again descended on Crowne Hall. It was almost as if everyone was celebrating the fact.
Everyone would soon forget Story Hale…
I determined to remember Josephine.
We hadn’t really discussed what this truce meant for all of us. For now, I guess it meant I am a voyeur. I watched West talk to men I don’t know. I watched Grayson, first taking photos with Lottie, and now with his mother. She said something to him that made him frown and I wanted to know what.
I tried not to spiral into fear, surrounded by monsters who knew my secrets.
“Grayson hasn’t said anything to me about…you know…” I startled at Lottie’s voice. She sidled up next to me, her palm resting on her rounded stomach. “I know you don’t owe me anything. So, thank you.”
I wanted to ask how she was doing, but I couldn’t. So I stood next to her in silence, as a party for her and Grayson’s upcoming child carried on around us.
“Women in my station don’t kill ourselves. We have tragic accidents or weak hearts. My grandmother had a weak heart…my aunt had a tragic accident…” She sighed.
I knew I shouldn’t say anything. Lottie was one of the last people I should keep risking my neck around, but she looked and sounded broken. She’d completely given up the pretense of fake smiling.
“Do you know the size of your baby?” I asked.
While I like to think of my baby as a little lemon, it’s probably the size of an avocado. Which means Lottie’s is probably the same, too.
She arched a brow. “You’re not supposed to talk unless I give you permission.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
She shook her head, looking so small and childlike with her big, brown eyes.
“It’s probably the size of an avocado,” I said.
She tapped her fingers on her stomach, pensive. “My mother hates avocados.”
Her eyes traveled across the room, where Lynette was in an avid conversation. Lynette, who had apparently tried to trip me. Tried to kill my little lemon.
They all knew my secrets.
All of them.
I glanced at Lottie.
She’s probably the only one who doesn’t know at this point.
West was across the hall, talking to someone whose combover looked blown over.
“He didn’t used to be this way…my brother.” Lottie was watching me, followed my gaze to West. “He used to be my nice, protective older brother. One time, some boys were picking on me at a party and he tracked them all down and made them apologize.” She sighed wistfully. “Something happened when he was a teenager. We were visiting Crowne Hall and he was so happy, and then he came back and he was different. Changed. Like my father.”