I needed to find the girl who gave West gum wrappers.
The girl who once stared Tansy in the eyes.
As a mistress I couldn’t speak unless spoken to, my place was written as second, but somehow I’d needed to find the strength to be seen, to live with dignity, while being the most shameful and hidden I’d ever been.
I know if I didn’t, the person I wanted to be, the dream I had for Grayson and me, would disappear completely.
“There.” West grazed his pointer along my jaw, from ear to ear. “I think she’s learned her lesson.”
It didn’t feel over, not by the look in Arthur du Lac’s eyes.
Grayson was barely holding it together, flexing and unfurling his fist.
Arthur’s hand fell to his belt. “You know the rules.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary, Dad,” West bit out.
Rules.
Flashbacks to Madame, her ruler landing between my shoulder blades.
I can’t protect you if you refuse to learn the rules.
West bent down, wrapping his arm around my waist, dragging me up to his side. “You see, I can’t let anything too rough happen to her.” He held up a small, black postcard.
The sonogram.
“We’re expecting.”
Twenty-Nine
STORY
I stared at the sonogram in West’s hands. Our little lemon, Grayson’s Christmas present to me, in his hands.
Lottie was the first to speak. “You’re expecting?”
I broke off before the word left my lips.
Don’t. Speak.
Learn the rules.
So instead of apologizing, I just…was quiet, and tried to get around the person.
“Is it really my brother’s baby?” Lottie’s eyes swiveled from me to her brother.
Why did she sound so desolate? And why did I want to tell her the truth?
I could only focus on Grayson. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched so tight the muscle bounced. And his eyes…they were the sun. Burning with a pain so stark I wanted to look away before they blinded me. Pain so hot it lanced.
My little Meyer lemon was not West’s.
Her face crumpled. “Con-congratulations.”
“She’ll be taking the du Lac name, then,” Tansy eyed me, eyes sharp.
I opened my mouth to say of course not but it was like West could sense it. He gripped my elbow painfully. “Of course.”
Lynette eyed me, venomous. “Wonderful.”
West used his grip to spin me, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes tight, my lips tighter.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I wanted the words to bleed into him.
Bleed into me.
When he finished, Grayson and Lottie were gone, and people poured onto the terrace—even though they shivered. Music flooded the terrace, louder than inside, as if Tansy was trying to drown out what just happened.
“Well…” Lynette gave me one last look, then returned to the ballroom. Arthur du Lac followed his wife inside, staring after me, his look leaving shivers down my spine.
West’s grip on my hip was iron, as if he knew I wanted to bolt.
“We said we wanted to wait,” I hissed at him.
“And you told me nothing happened.” West waved at someone across the terrace. “A thank you would be nice.”
I could barely breathe through my indignation. “Thank you?”
“I just did you both a fucking favor.”
“A favor?” I yelled, but it was drowned out by the music.
West gripped my elbow, spinning me to him. “You’re showing, Angel. Everyone knows, but now they think it’s mine. Or at least, we planted a seed of doubt.”
“We said we wanted to wait!” I said it again, because it was all I had. It was my Hail Mary.
“Should I have let my father whip your back with his belt?”
I swallowed air. That was what was going to happen? Arthur’s dark eyes popped in my head like the Cheshire cat’s disappearing stare.
“I told you I can’t protect you if you refuse to understand the rules.”
All of West’s ominous warnings, my time getting beaten in Scotland with Madame’s eerie she’s not ready echoing in my ear… It came crashing down like a wave and I suddenly couldn’t breathe.
“I—”
“Stop. Talking.”
West dropped my elbow, and pushed me behind him. The party disappeared behind his massive shoulders. With the stone railing behind me, the steps to an empty beach on one side… I was caged.
I thought about kicking West, kneeing him in the back of the thigh—when a solid, strong hand closed on the back of my neck. I froze, heart leaping into my throat. Was Arthur back?
Then the callous, cocksure voice I would recognize in my marrow spoke. “Don’t move. Don’t react.”
Grayson must have come up the steps.
“Do you remember those first nights you slept in my bed? I asked you a question then.”
How could I ever forget our first nights? They were engraved on my bones.
Have you ever come on someone’s hand, Snitch?
Do you want to?
Maybe he felt my neck heat, maybe he saw the blush on my cheeks, but he made a sound low in his throat, all manly satisfaction that settled deep in my thighs.
“You remember.” His lips were pressed close to my ear. “I want to feel you come on my hand. So be a good little wife and don’t talk. Don’t make any noise. I’ll be pretty fucking pissed if you get yourself caught.”
I looked around; no one had noticed us. I was hidden behind West and the terrace was packed. If you managed to see us…it probably looked like we were just two more people standing close together.
But all West had to do was turn around. “West—the paparazzi—” I broke off, sucking in air.
Grayson slammed me back against his body using only my neck. “The fuck did I say about warning me?”
His free hand gripped my stomach, pressing me harder against his chest, his iron cock. I swallowed, throat thick.
I stared at West’s shoulder blades, heart thudding as Grayson ripped my head to the side, hot mouth landing on my exposed neck. I was helpless and his.
A heroine in an old gothic romance.
Stuck in the hands of the monster, at his mercy.
“I don’t fucking care,” he growled, grip bruising my swollen stomach. “Let them see. Let them all see you’re mine.”
He was a drug, sliding into my system. Intoxicating and overtaking the consequences.
Let them see I’m his.
Let me be his.
My head fell on his chest.
“Good fucking girl.” His chest rumbled on my back, his approval like sweet wine in my blood. “That’s my girl.” His teeth scraped harder at my neck. “You’d let me do anything to you. Anywhere. You could never say no to me, little nun.”
“But you always knew when I should have, Atlas,” I whispered.
That stopped him in his tracks, his blue eyes cracking. At the very same moment, West shook the hand of the man he’d been talking to. He was going to turn around soon.
Gray spoke so low no one else could hear. “Find an excuse to leave or I’m coming back and fucking you in front of everyone. I don’t give a shit what happens.”