“I loved you,” I growled, though I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince her, or myself.
“How could you?” she demanded. “How could you love me? I don’t even know who the fuck I am, so how could you?” Her voice rose even higher, echoing off the domed ceiling.
I ran up to her, as she looked about to faint.
“Get off me.” She shoved me, but her moves were lethargic. I took a step back.
“That’s enough, Lottie,” Lynette trilled. “You clearly need sleep.”
“Stop it,” Lottie said. “He’s not the father. No matter how many lies you shove down my throat.”
Mrs. du Lac’s nostrils flared. “Then who is?”
“Jack! The love of your life, Jack!” She screamed it at her mother and swayed. Suddenly, Snitch was there, holding Lottie. “You fucking know it already, and I know you know it. I told you Grayson couldn’t be the father, I told you what happened, and you told me to say I shoved it up my—”
Mrs. du Lac held up her hand, letting out a stuttering laugh. “Okay, that’s enough. Grayson, Lottie clearly has had too much sun.” Both Lottie and I looked at the overcast sky. “She needs rest. Tomorrow we can forget all about this.”
“Stop doing that. Stop steamrolling over what I say. Stop shoving all the ugliness under the carpet. If it wasn’t for Story, I probably would have lived a lie—”
“You knew?” My glare slashed to Story.
Story looked like she’d been hit with a pie. “I didn’t—”
“She had no idea, Grayson. She just…gave me strength.”
Nine months washed over me. Nine months of hating myself, of barely being able to look at her because I hated myself so much. Of wondering if I was going to be my father, if I was going to have to choose between being that man, or keeping Snitch safe.
“I wish you were fucking dead.”
Lottie threw up her hands with a bitter laugh. “Get in line.”
My eyes landed on West, and I pushed through any remaining family to get to him.
“You.” I shoved him against the wall. “You fucking snake.”
He threw his arms out. “For the first time, this was all my sister.”
“You expect me to fucking believe that?”
“I swear on Team Eskimo Bros.”
I pushed my arm deeper into his neck. “Your entire family is fucked.”
My eyes locked with Story, still helping Lottie stand, and I pushed off West.
Fuck this. Fuck all of this.
We were free.
My mother grabbed my arm. “Grayson, wait. We should talk about this.”
I put up a hand. “I don’t want to fucking hear it.”
“Be present when we decide how we deal with this. How we…” my mother said through a clenched teeth smile. “How we get them out of our house.”
She sat up straighter, smiling at Lynette. “We’ll figure this out, don’t worry. Grayson will come talk it out, won’t you?”
Lynette smiled tightly. “That’s lovely to hear.”
My mother’s clench tightened. For once, though, I agreed with her. If I left with Story now, who was to say they wouldn’t just sweep this all under the rug?
Eyes still locked with Story’s, I said, “We settle this now.”
STORY
Do you trust me?
I watched Grayson leave, knowing he had to go, but feeling like I was swallowing thorns. The last thing he heard me say was I love you to West.
He watched me kiss West.
Then he said he knew it…knew I could never have loved him.
Now it had been hours since I’d seen him. Crowne Hall was eerily silent. As if even the very shadows knew not to speak for fear of being strangled. Everyone had followed Grayson, including West, which was some kind of relief.
I couldn’t go back to “my” wing.
I couldn’t go to Grayson’s.
So I sat in the portrait hall, looking at the dead, stoic countenances of Crowne family members preserved in oil. Beside me, double doors beckoned to open to the beach, barely muffling the crash of waves.
“Are you wondering what he’s doing?” Lynette du Lac leaned on the wall, her eyes a little glassy, her always elegant hair and dress undone.
“My husband made a lot of promises to a lot of different girls. They sound so sweet at first. The sweetest things usually sour the fastest, don’t they?” She pushed off the wall, wobbling a little. “You’ll never tear them apart. They’re meant to be. Their story was written before they were even born. And you? You will be like all my husband’s mistresses. Dead or forgotten.”
I stood up, taking a couple steps away from her.
“He even gave them rings,” she continued. “He should have made them in bulk…saved some money.”
“You don’t scare me, Lynette.” Yet, I kept taking steps backward, and when her eyes landed on my rounded stomach, I picked up the pace until my back hit the doors.
She tilted her head. “I’m not trying to frighten you. I’m trying to make you understand. Your child is irrelevant.”
I spun from her, slamming open the doors.
“Don’t believe me?” Her laugh bounced off the doors. “Where is he, Story? He’s with her. He’ll always be with her.”
She was lying.
She was lying.
Do you trust me?
It went both ways. I had to trust him. He wouldn’t stay with her after this. No one would expect him to…right? Yet tears still burned my lids at her words.
I swiped at them, swiped at the snot at my nose, until the iron waves blurred.
The air was brackish and bitter, the waves wild and high. The sun had set, but tumorous clouds blocked the stars and the air smelled of rain.
My back ached; it was harder to sit now that I was so pregnant. I couldn’t just fall to the sand. So I walked down the beach, until I found the trees Grayson had dragged me to the night he’d gambled me, and leaned against a trunk.
I was so afraid.
I needed Grayson.
I know if I messaged him, he’d come running. Right now, he needed to deal with the fallout of Lottie. So I did what I hoped was the right thing—the unselfish thing—and I sent my fears secretly.
Dear Atlas,
I think I’m forgetting how to hope—really hope.
The blind, certain hope that’s like sun in my scared heart.
But dead flowers remember how to bloom every spring.
Do you think hope is like that?
Atlas, I’m scared.
I need you—
“Story.” West grabbed me, spinning me into his gaze. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“W—” I broke off, looking around at the empty beach. “Why aren’t you with Grayson?”
“You disappeared.” He dragged his knuckles down my cheek and I shook him off.
“This entire time you knew Lottie wasn’t pregnant with Grayson’s child. You tricked me.” I shook my head. “I’m an idiot for believing a single word from your lips.”
“I’m just as blindsided by this as you!”
He did look off. Still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, wrinkled and disheveled.