He laughed. “Nah. Social anxiety comes in many forms. We all wear masks. The one you put on depends on what you’re trying to hide.”
“And the callous boyfriend’s a mask?”
“You’ve had your share of fame. You know what comes with it—a whole lot of attention. Lotta guys’ll bed every woman in sight just because they can. Maybe they weren’t hot stuff when they were younger and now, with money and fame, they are. And some do it…” He shrugged, color pinkening his cheeks. “Well, let’s just say the amount of fame you crave is in direct proportion to how insecure you are.”
Gripping the tongs, she snorted. “I don’t think Cassian Ellis has confidence issues.”
“Well, that’s what I’m saying. Maybe he has a lot more than you realize, and that’s how he covers it. There isn’t just one way to deal with your issues, right? Sometimes, when you feel unworthy and the attention’s comin’ at you, you gobble it up. Even if it’s the wrong kind.”
She dropped some lettuce on her plate. “I think what you’re telling me is to stop being so judgmental and look a little deeper.”
He laughed. “Well, I’m just channeling my therapist here, but that sounds about right.”
More people from the hotel staff gathered around Cassian. Someone took his plate so he could sign autographs. One of them tucked a cocktail napkin into the back pocket of his jeans.
She tried to see him from a different perspective. As a boy who’d lost his parents when he was fourteen. Who’d gone to live with a family he barely knew.
Even in high school, as captain of the football team, he still hadn’t felt he’d belonged anywhere.
I belong with you.
Oh, God, just remembering those words, the way they’d curled through her, all sweet and creamy. They’d been laying on their backs in the tree house, feet braced against the plywood panels they’d crudely erected. He’d been telling her how his cousins had made him feel like an outsider. Griffin in particular, the oldest, had resented having to share a room.
They have their own way of talking to each other, games they play, jokes…I don’t fit in.
She’d reminded him that he’d become the star of the football team, so at least he had that, and he’d said, “I took Landon’s spot. The guys hate me for that.” It had killed her that he didn’t feel he belonged anywhere.
Until he’d reached for her hand and said, I belong with you.
It hurt. It hurt so much to remember the good times. He might act like a playboy, but she’d known a whole other side of him. A vulnerable, sensitive side.
That side’s nowhere to be seen tonight. Cassian Ellis, the life of the party, commanded the attention of the staff who flocked around him. She wanted to ask his girlfriend why she’d stay with a guy who’d disrespect her so boldly.
Not my business.
A young woman held open his palm and wrote something on it.
“Cassian,” his girlfriend called. “You want me to make you a plate?”
“Good idea,” Gigi said. “He’s going to need his energy if he’s going to keep up with tonight’s schedule.” Oh, dammit.
His girlfriend looked up. “Right?” She shook her head. “He’s a shameless flirt.”
“What’s that?” Cassian turned away from his flock, inserting himself back into the line.
His girlfriend tugged on his T-shirt, laughter dancing in her eyes. “You’re making a scene. Grab your food, and let’s sit down.”
“A scene?” When he looked around to see what she was talking about, his gaze landed on Gigi.
The eye-to-eye connection exploded in her chest. A fireball of anxiety ripped along her nerves. Why the hell had she drawn his attention?
Surprisingly, the thing that brought her back into her own body was the hurt that flashed in his eyes. No, it wasn’t hurt. It was…longing. But it disappeared so quickly she wondered if she’d imagined it.
“Well, if isn’t a little Lollipop.” He said it with a grin, like he was being cute.
Yep. Totally imagined it. Everyone stopped talking and stared at her. Shame burned a fiery path down her spine.
“What do you mean?” It took a moment for his girlfriend to make the connection. “Oh, my God, you’re the lead singer of the Lollipops. I’m not used to seeing you without your get-up.”
She hated Cassian Ellis. Hated him. “I am.” The country star had made her feel legitimate, like she belonged. Leave it to Cassian to make her feel like a fraud.
“How fun.” The woman’s smile seemed genuine.
“Hope you brought your knee socks,” Cassian said.
Fucker. “Why? Did you want to borrow them? A little role play with your girlfriend?”
“Oh, it’s not—” the woman began.
Cassian snugged an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders, hauling her up hard against him. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. Lollipops might be for kids, but we like our fun a little more grown up. Right, babe?”
The girlfriend rolled her eyes. “Okay, Casanova. Let me grab some salad, and then we can sit down.” As she moved around him, he swatted her ass and said, “Sure, babe.” But she just threw him a look over her shoulder. Really?
What was that? Gigi had no idea what was going on, but she’d obviously forgotten for a moment there that he was an elite athlete. He’d always go for the first down to win.
And sparring with him would only make her look naïve and young.
Why had she engaged with him? She wished she’d stayed in her room—or at least handled herself better. Because now he knew she was still hung up on the past.
When she turned to give Grant an apologetic smile, she found he’d already gone back to the table.
Her shoulders sagged in defeat.
Can I please have a do-over?
Chapter Four
As soon as she sat back down, Kevin began his speech. “Please go ahead and eat—don’t let your food go cold—while I get you all up to speed. Let me just start out by telling you how awesome it was to let the hospitals know about our last-minute additions. Everyone loves the Mavericks, so Cassian, you’re going to be quite popular this week. And we’ve got a couple kids who are going to love Gigi from the Lollipops.”
Cassian hummed a few bars from “UpBeat,” and people laughed.
Kevin shook his hips. “Hey, now, don’t get me started. You’re going to get the whole restaurant on their feet, dancing. Okay, so, first up, tomorrow the hospital’s throwing a fair for the patients and their families at a community center, and you guys will provide the entertainment. This is going to be especially fun, because we’ve got a little boy who’s obsessed with penguins. So…we’ve arranged a visit from the zoo.”
A few people gasped and murmured, No way, that’s so cool. Kevin smiled. “Right? We’ve also got a couple of die-hard country fans, so Grant, you’ll play for them in the main room.” He smiled at the actor. “There’s a reading nook inside, so if you want to read to the kids, that space is all yours.”
Macy nodded. “Sounds good.”