He bent her over a chair and stuck his dick in her ass on their wedding day, an awful image still in my head.
I swallowed.
He smirked.
“How are my babes? Is Franz playing T-ball yet?” Graham let his hands fall from my face, returning them to his pockets.
It took a few seconds to rebound from the whiplash of envisioning Lila and him having sex to Franz playing T-ball. “If you want babes to play T-ball, then maybe you should have kids of your own.”
He pursed his lips to the side, giving me a slight squint. “Lila is still seeing a physical therapist. I don’t think knocking her up is the best idea, but thanks for your concern. We’ll keep practicing.”
“Why do you treat me like a locker room buddy? Do you really think I want to hear about the details of your sex life with my best friend and hear you use degrading terms like knocking her up?”
“Details?” A sly eyebrow quirked up his forehead, conveying too much pleasure in my misstep of words. “I haven’t given you any details. Do you want details? I trust you more than anyone you’re supposedly referencing as a locker room buddy.”
“We love Lila more,” I whispered with the reverence and true love she deserved.
“Yes!” Graham turned away from me, running his hands through his hair and tugging it, a very uncharacteristic move from my perfectly put-together governor friend. “We love her more. I married her, didn’t I?”
I had no clue what he meant by that. Did he think marrying her was some sort of sacrifice? I couldn’t imagine Ronin talking about me like that, even if he had trouble showing his affection for me the previous night.
That still bothered me. I was sure it ate at his ego, his manhood, but it chipped away at my ego too.
Did he no longer find me attractive?
Did he think of someone else … a perfect match like Va-ness-uh? I still thought about her, in weak moments, even though it was many years ago and she moved to Utah the following winter. There would always be another version of her. A good skier. Someone who liked ruffling his hair. Maybe someone who could turn him on, even after a long day and a possible pulled groin.
Fuck … I hated the insecurity. As much as I loved him beyond words, especially those actual words, I wasn’t immune to feeling inferior to made-up thoughts in my head. We had the perfect life with our kids, but we didn’t always have the perfect marriage.
We experienced rough times, like his opioid addiction. On a few occasions, we argued about money, and he would mention moving to somewhere more affordable, seemingly uncaring that I owned a business in Aspen and lived in the house my grandfather built.
“We would have been disastrous together, right? You wouldn’t have given up your job like Lila did to take on the role of the First Lady.”
I shook my head. “W-what are you talking about?”
“Had I not chosen Lila … if I would have fought for you … it would have ended in disaster, or I would have had to choose a simpler life—running the family business while you raised the kids.”
“Jesus, Graham. Seriously? What the hell are you talking about? Fighting for me. Are you delusional?”
He pulled out his phone, giving his attention to the screen instead of answering me, deep concentration etched into his forehead. “I have to go. My assistant will send you copies of the deed to sign as well as all the rental agreements of the other tenants. She’ll also notify them of the transfer of ownership.” He grabbed the back of my head, his signature move, and kissed my forehead for a second time. “Say hi to Ronin. Tell him I’ll call him about golf next week.”
Ronin wasn’t going to play golf with Graham, not if I told him about all the things he just said to me, and more specifically, how he said them. Then again, that was Graham. That had always been Graham—sweet one moment, like gifting me an entire building, and inappropriate the next moment, eluding to ridiculous what-if’s when we were both happily married to other people.
My ability to make sense of it seemed impaired, at best. Lila and I joked about that night in Vancouver, how her tongue ring may or may not have been a little arousing. That didn’t mean we planned to cheat on our spouses or do anything inappropriate. Right? That was because we were friends, but so was Graham. We had sex many years earlier. We joked about it. That didn’t make it less of a mistake.
The ridiculous what-if road led to a disaster. Lila and I didn’t discuss the what-if-we-were-lesbians scenario. We didn’t sit around wondering what our lives would be like had we chosen to be together.
Graham left me with the urge to call Lila. It had been several days since I last talked to her. I needed to hear her voice—gauge her happiness.
“Evie,” she answered on the third ring.
She made my name sound lifeless.
“Hi. How are you?”
“Fine.”
Her “fine” showed no signs of a pulse either.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She sighed so heavily I swear I could feel her breath through the phone. “Why do you ask?”
“Because you sound like someone died. Did someone die?”
“No. Just a little under the weather. Sore throat. Headache. I probably have something.”
“Sorry to hear that. Can I do anything for you?”
Lila attempted a laugh, but it fell flat, more like a grunt. “You’re in Aspen. I’m in Denver. I don’t think it’s worth the drive to bring me chicken noodle soup or something like that. Do you need something?” She got right to the point, no chit-chat.
“No. I was just …” I lost my courage, regretting the phone call. I needed to see her face to truly gauge her mood—her happiness level.
“Just what, Evie?” She sighed again. So many sighs. “Are you okay?”
The truth waited to be set free. I held it between pursed lips for a few seconds. “I’m a little overwhelmed, actually.”
“Oh. Why is that?”
Pacing my lab, I ran my fingers across the stainless-steel benches, checking Sophie’s thoroughness. “Graham was just here.”
“He was?”
“Yes. He didn’t tell you he was coming to Aspen today?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean much. He does his thing. I do mine.”
“I can track Ronin with his phone location.”
“Ronin isn’t governor,” she murmured.
I narrowed my eyes, scratching my chin. “What does that matter?”
“Nothing, Evie. So why are you overwhelmed?”
“Graham gave me the building.”
“What building?”
“This building. My shop building. He signed over the deed to me. Did you have anything to do with this?” I knew she didn’t, but I needed a way to make her feel like I might expect that generosity from them, not just Graham.
“No. I mean … that was really nice of him, and I would have totally agreed with him thinking it’s a great thing to do. But he didn’t mention it to me.”
“It’s … incredibly generous of you guys. I’m blown away, and Ronin will be too. I told Graham it’s too much. But you know Graham, he likes to look like a hero. Always lavishly generous. You married a good man, Lila.” I cringed. Why did I go overboard selling it? Oh, right, I didn’t want her to think it was not only extravagant, but inappropriate—like the way he looked at me, the way he touched my face, and the way his lips lingered on my forehead a few seconds past friendship status.