I’m pregnant.
I don’t know how to tell you.
I also think I’m in love with you and I’m scared.
She didn’t say that either. Keeping her thoughts to herself, she felt the tears well up.
“I want to take you for a ride,” Rix said.
She tensed up, quickly blinking away her tears. “A ride?”
“On my bike.”
“Is it safe?”
He chuckled. “I’m the one riding, so it better be.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said.
“I know, baby. Please, I’d like to take you for a ride.”
She looked toward the window and saw the rain had already stopped. “Okay,” she said. “I’ve never been on a bike before.”
“It’ll be fine. You hold on to me and I’ll take care of you.” He pulled out of her asshole. “Stay here.”
Could this get any more embarrassing?
He returned with a washcloth, which he pressed to her anus, cleaning away his cum.
I’m pregnant.
She wanted to scream it at him, to say it, but each time, it was like the words were stuck in her throat with no way out. This was her nightmare.
He had a right to know they were going to have a baby. After he cleaned up her ass, she changed into some jeans and an old shirt. He left her alone to fire up his machine. Glancing around his room, she spotted the mirror and stood in front of it. She wasn’t far along. Turning to the side, she admired her stomach.
There was no sign of a baby, of life.
“Crazy.” She shook her head, turned her back, and made her way out to find Rix waiting on his bike.
“Throw your leg over, hold on to me.”
She lifted her leg and then dropped it.
Rix grabbed her hands, putting them on his shoulders. “Learn to lean on me. I’ll be here.”
She gripped his shoulders tightly like her life depended on it.
“Let’s go.”
“What about a helmet?”
“I don’t intend to go too fast. I want you to feel what this is like. The freedom. No rules. Just you and me.”
They took off down the street. It was dark, but she didn’t mind. The wind flew through her hair.
“Relax. Keep your grip but just feel, Anna-Beth. Let yourself breathe.”
She closed her eyes, leaning back enough to enjoy but not to let him go. It felt amazing and free. He wasn’t going too fast. Each time he took some bends, she held him a little tighter, afraid of losing her grip.
We’re having a short burst of fun, baby, and then we will take care of you. Don’t worry.
What she didn’t know was if Rix would even want to be with her once he knew the truth.
A baby was a huge responsibility. Her parents had always warned her. They loved her so much, but their love for one another had known no bounds. They’d been crazy in love. She’d wanted that for herself, but she truly didn’t know if anyone was capable of loving her like that, least of all Rix.
Anna-Beth didn’t know how long they rode for until they came outside a building. It had high fences, and she caught sight of a large building.
Rix turned off the ignition but kept his light on.
“What is it?” she asked.
“This is my clubhouse, Anna-Beth. This is where I belong. Where my life is.”
“Oh,” she said.
“I’m not allowed to be here.”
“Shouldn’t we leave? We could get in trouble.”
“Anna-Beth, there’s something I’ve got to tell you.”
She loosened her grip, fear clawing at her. “What is it?”
“I’m leaving town. All of my business will be concluded in a couple of days. I’ll be putting the house on the market. I won’t live next door to you. My life is here, with the guys.”
“Oh,” she said again. Pain sliced through her. She’d never been hit by a truck but she had a feeling this would be exactly what that felt like.
He was leaving her. Leaving the both of them.
“I never intended to stay.”
The baby. Should she tell him? It was on the tip of her tongue to say it, but she held herself back. Would she really want a man to stay with her because of a baby?
No!
The very thought made her feel sick to her stomach.
“Take me home,” she said.
“Anna-Beth?”
“Look, I get it. What we had was fun while it lasted but it has come to a conclusion now. I get it. I don’t need you to tell me more. We’re done. Over, finished. I want to go home.” She was losing it and needed the sanctuary of her home. “I don’t want to talk. Just take me home.”
He turned over the ignition and they took off again, heading back home.
The hours ticked by.
She knew he hadn’t lived close.
The freedom she’d felt on the back of his bike left her.
This was awful. The pain. The loneliness.
The moment he pulled into his driveway, she climbed off his bike. Her legs felt all wobbly but she was able to keep herself upright. It was a miracle.
“Anna-Beth, wait,” he said.
“No, it’s fine. You were completely upfront with me from the very start. We don’t have to have a heart-to-heart. You said it clearly tonight. Your life is there. My life is here. It’s over. Ended.” She got to her home and realized she didn’t have her key.
“I want us to talk,” Rix said.
“There’s nothing for us to talk about. It’s over. Give me my key.”
He hesitated but she held her hand out, waiting.
“We’ll talk when you’re willing to listen.” He put her key into the palm of her hand. She let herself inside, slammed the door, locked it, and collapsed against it. This wasn’t how she wanted tonight to go. Putting her hand to her stomach, she felt so empty, broken, and alone.
****
Seeing the capo die should have been a wonderful experience.
Rix had killed his fair share of men and women.
Revenge, justice, and completion. The capo’s death should have completed all of them, but as he sat in the main clubhouse, with his boys all celebrating his return and their victory, he was hollow.
He hadn’t told Anna-Beth she was pregnant with his child.
He hadn’t told her he loved her.
The night he came to show her his home, he’d hoped to have at least piqued her curiosity. Instead, she’d gotten angry and pushed him away. If she hadn’t been pregnant, he would have forced her to see reason, but she was in a delicate condition and everything he’d read told him to treat her with care. He’d never gotten a woman pregnant before.
Women were dancing. Enjoying in the merriment. He couldn’t participate.
Getting to his feet, without a word, he let himself into his office. Night told him no one had visited this room. They were all waiting for his return. His boys didn’t want anyone else to take it from him.
“Is there a reason you’re acting all pissed?” Night said. “We got it, we won. You should be celebrating.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re sitting in your office. There’s so much pussy out there for you to try.”
“Pussy,” he said. In his mind, he thought about Anna-Beth. Her smile. The sweetness of her wrapped around him.