Our heavy, satiated breathing filled the loft. When we untangled ourselves, I turned around and he immediately kissed me. The kiss was all-consuming, and my knees were weak when it ended.
“That was amazing,” I murmured.
“You are amazing,” he returned.
I stared up into his light brown eyes and melted.
He tore his eyes away and picked up the condom wrapper. “Where’s your bathroom?”
I led him down the hall. “I’m going to go to the bathroom, too,” I told him as I continued into my bedroom.
A few minutes later, I strolled into my living room wrapped in my robe. I stopped in my tracks because Saint was fully dressed.
Licking his lips slowly, he watched me as I watched him. His chest heaved in time with mine as we took tentative steps toward one another. I saw a pained look in his eyes. “You’re dangerous, Zola Patterson.”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m not.”
“You are for me.” He paused. “If we don’t learn from our mistakes, we’re doomed to repeat them.” He held my gaze for a second before he turned to leave. “I should go.”
I took an unsteady step. “Saint…”
He stopped, but he didn’t turn around. “I’m not leaving because I don’t want to be here. I’m leaving because there is nothing I want more.”
I wanted to tell him that I only wanted him. I wanted to admit that I had never felt as connected or safe or at peace with a man as I did with him. I wanted to say a lot, but when I opened my mouth, none of that came out.
I walked over to him and placed my hand on his back. I felt the effect that my touch had on him and it tugged at my heart. “Please stay,” I pleaded with him.
He turned around slowly, and his eyes flashed when they searched mine. “The only thing I want more than to make you come is to make you happy.”
“I want both.”
“And I want it all.” He licked his lips. “And if I stay, it’s only going to make it harder. I’ve been down that road. Trust me.”
“I want what you want,” I blurted out. “I want you—all of you.”
I meant what I’d said. Or at the very least, I wanted to mean it. And as he searched my eyes, I knew he wanted to believe me, too. I wasn’t sure if he did or not, but when his mouth moved over mine, I knew he was at least going to stay.
*****
Chapter 8
“I have something for you,” Jordan remarked a few minutes after I arrived at his office.
My eyebrows flew up. “Oh?”
I’d come directly to the Hamilton University campus after leaving Saint’s condo. We’d spent Monday night together and since he had to go visit a client for his part-time job Tuesday afternoon, I decided to drop by and officially break things off with Jordan. He was surprised by my visit so the fact that he had something for me caught me off guard.
“Oh my God,” I breathed, staring at my father’s favorite book. “What is this?”
Jordan walked around his desk and placed it in my hands. He made himself comfortable on the edge of his desk. “You like it?”
My heart thumped wildly in my chest as I stared at the title of the book. Is this a sign?
I looked up at him and then back at the book. “I love it.”
“I saw it at the bookstore where we met, and I immediately thought of you. I’ve been excited to give it to you. It was something you’d said last week about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs…”
As Jordan talked, I stared at the book. With my head still down, I closed my eyes and saw my father’s face. I missed him so much.
The interoffice intercom rang, pulling me out of my mental haze. “Dr. Lewis, your one o’clock is here.”
He checked his watch and groaned. “You just got here. I wish we had more time.”
“Yeah.” I stood. “But thank you for this. It’s…wow,” I thanked him as I prepared to leave his office with the book in hand. “You are hands down the best professor on campus.”
He chuckled. “Coming from you, I am honored.”
“You should be. I’m a big deal.” I shimmied my shoulders. “I’m a published author.”
“You sure are,” he replied, walking me to the door. “I’m sorry to rush you out, but you had something you wanted to talk to me about, right?”
I smiled up at him as I opened the door. “Yeah, um…can you call me so we can talk later?”
“Of course.”
I took a step, and he grabbed my arm. “I’m glad you stopped by. I’ve been wanting to see you for the last couple of days.” He let his hand slide down my arm until he held my hand. “I’m glad you finally had time for me.”
I’d spent all Sunday with Saint and all Monday working since I’d done nothing over the weekend. After another amazing night with Saint, I woke up Tuesday morning knowing I needed to tell the men on my roster that I was off the market. I called Jeremiah, but he wasn’t available, and I didn’t want to do it over the phone. Not wanting to wait to talk to Jordan, I showed up on campus.
But this changes things.
I looked down at the book in my hand. “Yeah, I wanted to see you, too.”
“We were hot and heavy when we first met and then you disappeared on me over the weekend. I just wanted to make sure I was still on your radar.”
“Yes.” I nodded before repeating myself in a softer voice. “Yes.”
“For a second I thought I’d lost you to that angry looking dude you had brunch with.”
Just the mention of Saint made me uncomfortable. I truly came to end things with Jordan, but the book had thrown a wrench into my plans.
I didn’t say anything, and the statement hung in the air uncomfortably for a second.
“But know this, I’m not going down without a fight.” Leaning down to my ear, he whispered, “I can handle the competition. Can he?”
I opened my mouth to speak when I heard the squeak of a voice behind me.
“Hi, Dr. Lewis,” a young woman chirped.
He cleared his throat and took a step away from me. “Hello, Ms. Hall. Come on in and we’ll get started on your make-up test.” He looked up at me and gave me a nod. “Ms. Patterson, thank you again for dropping by. We’ll revisit our conversation later today?”
I nodded. “Have a good rest of your day, Dr. Lewis. And don’t be too hard on your afternoon classes.”
I walked down the hall and quickly turned the corner. Pressing the elevator button repeatedly, I tried to will it to come sooner. When it came, I entered the empty car and paced back and forth until I got to the first floor.
I needed to get out of there.
“Excuse me,” I muttered as I ran out, unintentionally bumping someone in a hurry to get in.
I practically ran to my car as I kept catching a glimpse of the book in my hand. I immediately pulled out my phone. Once I was sitting in my car, I called Kia, but she didn’t answer. Next, I called my mother.
“Hey, how are you?” I asked as soon as she picked up the phone.
“I’m busy, but I’m good. I’m about to make the schedule for next week. How are you, Zo?”