“I’m not most men.”
“Thanks again, though. Really.” I started heading toward my loft and he continued down the sidewalk to his. “I appreciate it.”
“I’ll talk shit about you all day, but I’m not about to sit back and let shit happen to you.”
“Same here.” I flashed him an appreciative smile. “Take it easy, Darius.”
“I would tell you to take it easy, but for forty bucks I guess you take it however they pay you to take it,” he joked.
“I don’t sell ass; I sell advice.”
“Well what kind of advice would you give to someone who knew their neighbor was for the streets?”
I folded my arms. “I would suggest that the neighbor worried about himself. Because the reason his girl hates his guts isn’t because he’s nosey and always at home. She hates his guts because he can’t reach hers?”
“There you go with the little dick jokes.”
I shrugged as I opened my door. “And there you go with the little dick.” Snickering, I slammed my door behind me.
The entire ordeal that happened threw me off and I needed to drink some tea and calm my nerves. I didn’t have the energy to deal with anyone else’s emotions. As I went back and forth between what I wanted to do, what I should do, and what actually happened, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Darius said.
The only person’s bullshit you ever have to deal with is your own.
“I need to write this out,” I murmured under my breath as I headed to my office.
Heaven Leigh: I have it. I’ll be at the studio with my sister until you can get here.
Zola Patterson: Thank you so much! I’ll text you when I’m on the way.
Heaven Leigh: See you soon!
I didn’t journal often, but when I did, I got into a zone. It wasn’t until my phone rang that I saw that I’d gone through six pages of thoughts and feelings.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey beautiful,” Jordan greeted me. “I’m just leaving campus now and I’m heading home to change. If you shoot me your address, I can pick you up around six thirty.”
Tapping the book he gave me, I swallowed hard. “I’ll meet you there,” I told him. “I have to do something before I meet you.”
“Is everything okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
I got off the phone with him and immediately headed to my closet.
The better I look, the more confident I’ll be, I reasoned. And the more confident I am, the more confident I can be in my decisions.
I chose a burgundy dress with a black belt. I put on my thigh-high, heeled black boots and my favorite black leather jacket. Pushing all my hair into a pouf on the center of my head, it looked like a crown. Big white gold hoops, burgundy lipstick, and my crossbody bag completed the look.
I took a shaky breath as I looked in the mirror. “It’s time.”
I left my loft in a hurry and was surprised to see Darius not there. By the time I got in my car and was backing out, he was coming back out to the porch from inside his loft.
“Must have been on a bathroom break,” I speculated as I sped off.
Due to traffic, it took a little longer than I’d expected to get to Heavenly Studios. I didn’t want to pick up the package and run, but I didn’t have a lot of time to make it back to downtown Richland.
“Heaven?” I called out as I entered the studio.
A beautiful woman who had the same light brown eyes and dark complexion as Saint eased from a side room. “Zola!”
“Hi,” I greeted her, extending my hand. “Yes, I’m Zola. And you must be”—I thought back to the picture in Saint’s living room— “Angel.”
Her smile grew as she shook mine. “Yes, I’m Angel! Wow, how did you know?”
“I’ve seen your picture. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well. You are even more beautiful than my brother said.”
He was talking to his family about me?
I felt my face flush. “Thank you.”
“What is there to do on a Wednesday night in Richland? You have to know… you have to be headed somewhere cool looking like this!”
“I’m going to a place called Tempest Lounge. Very low key. If you’re looking for something to get into, check out Main Street. There are a lot of cool places, but it all depends on what you’re looking to do. Where are you headed? This is a beautiful dress.”
“Thank you! I have to be here until nine and then we’re going to out—not sure where though. Tomorrow we’re trying some artsy place. And since Saint is off on Friday, I’m hoping to have a sibling’s breakfast.”
“That sounds like a good time! When are you leaving?”
“Saturday morning. Fortunately, I have your book to keep me company. I was reading on the plane and I’m pretty sure I got you a few sales because I was raving about it.”
I put my hands to my chest. “Thank you. I appreciate that so much!”
“I’ve been a fan of your blog ever since Heaven said something that you wrote gave her the courage to start dating women. I mean, we already knew she was bi, but she wasn’t ready to actually date women. Serenity, Saint, and I have known since she was in middle school. But she always dated men so no one else knew. And I’m sure Heaven’s told you, but it wasn’t until after she discovered your blog and read something you wrote to someone else that she found the courage to live her life. She said she ended up writing you and you helped her live in her truth. She’s been so much happier and confident since then. And even with her—” She slapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m talking too much and I’m sure you’ve already heard this story before.”
My mouth was agape. I felt so many different things at once. I was so happy to hear that I helped Heaven and I was thrilled that she was living her best life. I was overwhelmed with the speed in which she was talking and how much she looked like Saint. But I was also a little nervous because I was meeting Saint’s family members. And I was a little uncomfortable because Heaven never told me any of that information.
“Well, um…” I stammered. “Heaven actually never went into detail about how I helped her, but—”
“Oh my God,” she gasped, looking around. “Please don’t say anything! I’m always doing this. I always assume people know stuff that they don’t.”
“Zola!” Heaven exclaimed with a huge grin. “I have your print out right here.”
My brows furrowed as she jogged over with the box. “You have my print out?”
“Yes,” she exhaled, slightly winded. “I’ll walk you out.” She looked at her sister. “Angel, grab your stuff.”
I allowed Heaven to rush me out of the studio and once the door closed behind us, she made a face. “I’m sorry! I was on the phone taking down info for a huge piece I’m being commissioned to do!”
“That’s great! Congratulations!”
“Sorry to keep you waiting, though.”
“No problem,” I assured her, waving it off. “It was nice to meet Angel.”