They talked for well over two hours. Finn answered every one of her questions thoroughly and patiently. She learned so many things. Everything seemed to support his claims that, with the exception of a few obvious differences, shifters and humans weren’t all that different.
The only time he stumbled was when she brought up a statement he’d made the day before. It had been tumbling around in her thoughts ever since.
“Yesterday, you told me you couldn’t simply walk away.”
He nodded. “That’s true.”
“Why not?”
He paused and considered his words before answering, “I said we’re a lot like humans in most aspects, and that’s true. But there is an area where we differ.”
“Besides being able to turn into a polar bear, you mean?”
“Yes, besides that.” His lips quirked, and then he grew serious again. “Our human halves are dominant when it comes to rational thought and logic. That’s why we’re able to coexist in a structured, civilized community. But our animal halves have greater control when it comes to more instinctual aspects, such as choosing the one we want to spend our lives with.”
Lainey’s heart began thundering again. “You’re talking about finding a mate.”
“Yes. It’s not something I can clearly explain. We just know when we meet the right one. It’s like this flash of clarity, this sense of absolute rightness.” He offered a small smile. “That’s what I feel around you, Lainey.”
She sucked in a breath.
“It’s not something I can control,” he said almost apologetically. “I mean, I can control what I do about it but not the feeling itself. It’s like when you get a craving for something, but it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re going to satisfy that craving or deny it.”
Craving perfectly described what she felt around him too.
“What happens if you deny it? Does it go away after a while?”
“No.”
“I see,” she murmured, but she wasn’t sure she did.
Was Finn actually telling her that she was his mate? And if so, when had he come to that conclusion? Before he slept with her or after?
“When did you get this flash of clarity?”
“My bear knew from day one. It took longer for the man to come to terms with it, but after spending time with you ... there’s no doubt, Lainey.” His lips turned downward.
“You don’t seem happy about it.”
“It’s complicated. I’m thrilled that I met you. I was beginning to think I’d never meet someone who makes me feel the way you do. You’re everything I could have ever hoped for in a mate. You’re smart, funny, kind, selfless, passionate ...” He shook his head. “But at the same time, you’re human. You don’t feel the same pull toward me as I feel toward you. You have a family and a job and a life elsewhere. In less than forty-eight hours, you’re leaving, and I have no idea how you feel about any of this. About me.”
Lainey didn’t know either. Since he had been honest with her, she would do the same. “I’m trying to wrap my head around this, but I’m struggling.”
“I wish I could have spared you all this,” he said quietly. “That I would’ve had the strength to stay away. That Hildie hadn’t had complications requiring your skills. That you could have returned to Vermont without this weighing on your shoulders.”
That seemed at odds with what he’d just told her about mates. “You would have just let me walk away?”
“Yes ... and no. I would have followed in a few weeks and done whatever I could to develop a relationship with you at a pace you were comfortable with.”
“You would have done that? For me?”
He nodded. “In a heartbeat. I love my family and my life here, but you are my future, Lainey. I have no doubts about that.”
“And what if you do all that and I don’t come to the same conclusion?”
“Then, I will respect your wishes,” Finn said, “but I’ve never known a bear to be wrong when it comes to recognizing its mate.”
Chapter Twenty
Lainey
Lainey stood on the suite deck and looked out at the view, the clear blue sky, and the brilliant sunshine, and she cursed.
Part of her had been hoping for a storm. High winds. Low visibility. Anything that would have delayed her departure. If fated mates were a thing and if that was what she and Finn were, then surely, fate or destiny or whatever force determined those things would give her some kind of sign that she should stick around, right?
Maybe this is your sign, Lainey, and you just don’t want to accept it.
Finn’s words had touched her in a place no one else had been able to reach—her vulnerable, romantic heart. Being with him had shown her what she was missing in her life. Someone to laugh with. To explore with. Someone who made her heart sing as well as her body.
“You okay?” Henry asked, joining her.
“Yes, of course,” she lied. “Just savoring the last few minutes of vacation.”
“We should go. The van will be arriving to take us to the airport soon.”
“I’ll be right in.”
She hadn’t thought it would be so hard to leave. She was regretting her request that Finn not return to see her off, saying that she needed time and space to think about everything he’d told her. Only afterward had she realized just how big of a risk he’d taken in doing so. To entrust her with not only his secret, but also the secret of so many.
His faith was humbling. His conviction that they were meant to be together was at once borderline fantastical and the most romantic thing she’d ever heard. But where was that tenacity and determination he’d spoken of now, when she was preparing to leave? If he was so certain they were destined to be together, why hadn’t he ignored her request and come out to say good-bye?
She scanned the area one last time, searching for a blur of fluffy white but found none. It hurt more than she’d thought it would.
When she could delay no longer, she stepped inside, grabbed her luggage, and went with Henry to the lobby.
The lodge staff had gathered to say good-bye. Mayor Bill was there. He thanked them and presented each of them with their commemorative group photo and the keepsake ornaments that had been removed from the lodge’s Christmas tree. Her stuffed polar bear was already safely tucked in her carry-on bag.
“Do you know if Finn is coming?” she asked quietly as Beau loaded her bags into the back of the van.
“I haven’t seen him.”
“Tell him I said good-bye, will you?”
“I will. Take care, Lainey.”
He closed the doors. Instead of climbing into the driver’s seat, he stepped back and slapped the side of the van.
“Aren’t you driving us to the airport?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
He lowered his voice. “Today’s the airlift.”
“Oh. Right.”
She climbed into the van and sat down beside Henry, ignoring the glares and murmurs from Mae and Bradley. The older couple celebrating their anniversary offered friendly smiles, but they were more subdued than usual. Liam had his nose buried in a book and didn’t acknowledge them. She wondered vaguely how his interview at the research center had gone and if he’d be returning.