~ ~ ~
Leanne cursed herself as she got out of the car and hurried toward the gas station. Why had she said that? She didn’t need to use the bathroom. Sure, escaping the car—escaping from Ryan for a few minutes would do her good. But that wasn’t why she’d said it. It wasn’t why she’d used those particular words. Nope. She’d said that because, even though she’d just asked Ryan if they could close the door on the past and everything that they’d shared, her mind was still caught up in it.
The first few weeks that they’d been together had been amazing. He’d been so sweet, so attentive, so kind to her. They’d spent most of their time together. He’d slept at her apartment pretty much every night he was in town. He went out of town often. For work. She still hadn’t known what his work really was, but she’d told herself that she was fine with that. And she was, mostly.
He’d taken her back to the cabin in Big Sur a couple of weekends. She’d loved it there. They’d gone down into Carmel for lunch and walked the beach. Gone wine tasting in Carmel Valley; it’d been one of the best times of her life.
And every time, on the way back to San Francisco, she’d asked him to stop. It wasn’t that she had a weak bladder. It was because whenever they stopped, he held her hand as they walked across the parking lot. It was dumb. She’d known it was then. She knew it was even dumber to think about it now. But that little gesture had given her a sense of belonging that she hadn’t had in her life before—or since.
She froze when she reached the door and his big, muscular arm reached past her to pull it open. All the little hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She hadn’t even known he was behind her. But she shouldn’t be surprised. She used to call him the master of stealth, until she’d learned that, in fact, he was just a sneaky bastard.
“Thanks.” She darted through the door and headed for the ladies’ room. When she came out, he was standing there, arms folded across his chest.
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Is the men’s room out of order?”
“No. I was waiting for you.”
Her heart jumped into her mouth. She’d forgotten that part. He’d always waited for her. Something about him being the big man who needed to protect his little lady. She used to love it. Now … now, she didn’t want to remember just how much she’d loved the way it made her feel. Just how much she’d loved him.
She looked into his eyes and he gave her a rueful smile. “You started this.”
She wanted to come back at him, say something about how he’d ended it. But she couldn’t. She brought her hand up to her brow and tried to soothe the frown lines away. “I thought we were closing the door?”
He held her gaze for a moment longer before he nodded. “You’re right. We are.” He turned on his heel and she expected him to stalk out of there, but he didn’t. He waited for her to go with him.
“Do you want anything?”
“No. I’m fine.” It was a lie. She was a long way from fine. And she did want something. She wanted a time machine. She wanted to go back to that first time they’d been together. She wanted to say goodbye to him in the morning and then be strong and never see him again. Either that or go back to the last time … no, even with a time machine, she’d only be able to change her own actions. She couldn’t change what he’d done.
He held the door open for her to go back outside. The driver had parked close to the doors, so they didn’t have far to go. But every step made her heart hurt as he walked beside her. She sure as hell didn’t want him to hold her hand. She hated him! She blinked rapidly. She did. It wasn’t not being with him that made her sad. It was what he’d done. He’d promised her he wouldn’t hurt her. Promised her that she could trust him no matter what. He’d wormed his way into her life and her heart and when he’d finally dismantled all her defenses, he’d destroyed her.
When they reached the car, she hurried around to the other side. She didn’t want him opening the door for her. He used to do that, too. And he’d kiss her lips as she got in.
Once they were both settled, the driver turned to check on them. “Are we good to go?”
“Yep,” Ryan said.
Leanne nodded.
“Okay. It should take us about an hour and a half from here.”
And hour and a half? Leanne’s heart sank. They’d only been on the road for half an hour so far? She couldn’t wait for this ride to be over.
She jumped when her phone buzzed with a text. She fished it out of her purse.
Hey, boss lady. When are you coming back?
She had to smile. Her assistant, Donovan, hadn’t been happy about her taking this trip. He was the only person at the firm who knew what it might mean. And he didn’t want to see her go. She glanced at Ryan. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to move to Summer Lake now anyway.
I’m not even there yet! What do you need?
She felt as though Ryan was watching her. Not that it mattered. But she still tilted her phone away from him. It was none of his business.
I need you back! I can’t survive here without you. Don’t leave me.
She bit back a smile. Perhaps it would have been better to let Ryan see that. She wondered what he’d make of it.
What’s going on?
Anderson wants me to help out on the Pinnacle files.
Leanne blew out a sigh.
I hope you told him no.
I tried. I told him you asked me to keep working on Essenden. But …
But what?
He said you’re not here and he is.
Leanne scowled. Stupid man. Anderson was the biggest pain in her ass. She was tempted to call him and give him a piece of her mind. But that would only leave Donovan in a difficult situation.
She could feel Ryan watching her. She snuck a glance at him, but of course, he caught her.
“Boyfriend?” he asked.
She opened her mouth, about to tell him that it was none of his damned business. But she caught herself and nodded instead. Donovan might be able to make her life easier—and if she brought him up to the lake, she’d make his easier, too. Anderson would eat him alive if she left him there to fend for himself.
She looked back down at her phone. She had considered bringing him up to the lake if she moved here. She wasn’t sure that she’d need an assistant, but Donovan was the best she’d ever worked with.
I’ll talk to him.
She knew from the long silence that he was probably worried by that. So, she put him out of his misery.
And tell him that I need you with me.
It was still a few minutes before he replied.
I thought you were on personal business, not firm business.
I am. And I might not be coming back. You should come and see if you want to join me.
Are you serious?
She had to smile. This was crazy. But it felt right. She planned to leave the firm soon, even if she didn’t move to Summer Lake. She could take Donovan with her wherever she went. Bringing him up to the lake might kill a few birds with the same stone.