~ ~ ~
Leanne’s heart was hammering in her chest. This could not be happening. No way on earth could she sit next to Ryan for the next hour. That was the worst kind of torture imaginable. She could smell him; he still smelled the same—all leather and spicy and … man. She wanted to think that he should have updated his cologne, but she was too busy being grateful that he hadn’t.
Her hand shook as she opened her texts. She didn’t even know who she wanted to message. Dan came up first. Maybe he could help her. He was the only person she’d tell about what was going on right now.
Help me! You won’t believe this.
I’m on the plane and Ryan just sat down next to me.
She hit send and waited. Hoping that he’d reply and maybe talk her down. His reply didn’t do anything to calm her down when it came in.
He lives here now.
She stared at her screen in disbelief and then risked a sideways glance at Ryan. He was tapping away at his own phone.
You’re shitting me? Why didn’t you tell me? I can’t come up there.
Dan’s reply was almost instantaneous.
Yes, you can. That’s why I didn’t tell you.
Besides, you said you were fine with him at the wedding.
Leanne rolled her eyes.
I lied! I thought you knew that! I just didn’t want to cause any tension - it was your wedding!
This time it took him longer to reply. She glanced at Ryan again and her heart sank at the thought that maybe he was talking to Dan, too.
It’ll be okay. Don’t you think it’s time you two put the past behind you?
She scowled at her phone. Of course, she did. But she couldn’t. She hated him. She blinked rapidly. She did. That was the only explanation there could be. No one else made her heart race, or her stomach churn, or made her lose her cool the way he did. And that was because no one else had ever hurt her the way he had. She hated him.
I can’t.
The flight attendant went back up the aisle and spoke into the intercom. “Good afternoon, folks. The doors are closed now, so I need to ask you to turn off your portable devices or switch them to airplane mode, thank you.”
Leanne stared at her screen, willing Dan to reply to give her something, some nugget of wisdom that might get her through the next hour.
I think you should talk to him. Get any awkwardness out of the way before you arrive here.
Leanne scowled. Not what she’d been hoping for.
The flight attendant raised her eyebrows and nodded at her phone. “If you could …”
Leanne reluctantly switched it off, feeling as though her lifeline to Dan—to anyone who could save her—had just been cut.
Ryan turned to her with a grin. “So, how’ve you been?”
Chapter Two
“Do you seriously expect me to sit here and chat to you like … like we were old friends or something?”
Ryan’s heart was still hammering as he stared back into those beautiful blue eyes. He’d lived through plenty of dangerous situations in his life, but they all paled in comparison to facing Leanne’s wrath. His heart thudded to a stop when that thought drove something home for him. Sure, he’d faced danger many times during his career, but he hadn’t reacted the way he was now. He’d faced those situations with calm determination—okay, sometimes with reckless aggression. He hadn’t had the kind of palpitations his heart seemed to be experiencing now. His palms hadn’t sweated so much that he needed to wipe them on his pants. When his life had been in danger, he’d never been afraid. Because since Leanne—without Leanne—his life hadn’t meant that much to him. He was not going to examine what that might mean about how much Leanne still meant to him. Nope. She meant nothing. Not anymore.
She was still glaring at him. Perhaps the safest move would be to agree with her to say that yeah, sure, she was right—they had nothing left to say. But the safest move was rarely the one that Ryan chose. He preferred to blow shit up, burn it all down. He pursed his lips.
“Good.” She nodded and settled back into her seat, apparently taking his silence as … what? Acquiescence? A victory?
He must be getting older, because the thought of letting her win didn’t make him want to continue the battle until he came out on top. It just made him sad. Not that she’d won. But that between the two of them, there always had to be a winner and a loser. If they could have found a way to work together, they would have been an unbeatable team. Maybe that wasn’t true. They had worked together for a while. It had been amazing. They had been a great team—formidable, but not unbeatable.
He looked around, wondering how long it’d be until the flight attendant could bring him a drink.
Life had beaten them. Broken them apart. He risked a glance at her, but she was pulling the magazine out of the seat back pocket. She turned her body away from him and started to read.
She was right. He hadn’t really expected her to talk to him, had he? He didn’t want to talk to her. He just couldn’t help himself. He’d gone on the offensive because that was what he did. That was all.
~ ~ ~
Leanne rested the magazine on her lap. She couldn’t hold it up because the damned thing gave away her shaking hands when she did. What the fuck? There was no other way to put it. He hadn’t really expected her to talk to him, had he? She wasn’t going to risk peeking at him. Nope. He was trained to spot that kind of thing. She didn’t want to give herself away. Though she wasn’t entirely sure what she’d be giving away. She just didn’t want to risk making eye contact with him, having to engage with him. This was a short hop. They could be in the same space physically but remain a million miles apart in every other respect.
She had to swallow around an unexpected lump that formed in her throat. She’d spoken those exact words to him back then. He’d come back physically, but other than his body being present in the room, it was like he wasn’t even there—he’d still been a million miles away.
There was no way she was going to let herself cry. She closed her eyes and waited for her tear ducts to get the message. There. She straightened her shoulders—with the secondary and unintended effect of pushing her boobs out. It was a move she’d first learned as a way to feel stronger. Shoulders back, chin up, girl. You’re strong. You can face anything.
She’d soon learned that she could use it for more than that. The move itself made her feel stronger, more self-assured, but the effect it had on the men around her had taught her much more about her personal power. She didn’t abuse it—she wasn’t like that, even though most people assumed she was—but she was aware of it.
She thought of it as a defensive measure. Most guys, and a lot of women, for that matter, were distracted by the exterior. They didn’t usually take the time to worry about what was on the interior. They saw the blonde with the big tits and never cared to see Leanne—not who she was, so they left her alone which was just fine by her.
She bit down on her lip. Ryan wasn’t like most guys. Not in any sense. Sure, he’d been distracted by the exterior. He loved her boobs as much as the next guy. More, since he’d gotten to know them so well. But even when they first met, he’d wanted to know her—Leanne—the girl on the inside. The one who hid behind the façade. He wanted in past her defenses. And she’d let him in. Slowly. He’d been so good to her. So … She had to swallow around the lump in her throat again.