“Derek, I—”
“Shhh…trust me.” I pushed the robe down past her elbows until it ended up in a pool near her feet. “Climb into the tub, Sparky. Let me take care of you.”
She took a hesitant step into the water, testing the temperature with her toes before getting all the way in. Watching her uncertain movements made me realize I’d never really studied a woman as I always seemed to study her. She was different in the most indescribable ways. She unraveled a part of me, altering me in a way that could never be undone. My mouth went dry, and my dick throbbed. Seeing her naked like this was almost too much. It killed me not to touch her, to keep my hands from running over her smooth curves and tight ass, but it wasn’t the right time. I’d made a promise—no sex. I’d keep that promise, even if it destroyed me.
She wrapped her arms around her sides, appearing self-conscious for a moment before lowering herself into the water and positioning her body, so her back was to me. Once she was comfortably seated, I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and scrolled through Spotify for a suitable playlist. I wanted something calming yet sensual at the same time. After settling on something I thought would be appropriate, I glanced around the surfaces in the bathroom.
“Do you have any candles around here?” I asked.
“Um, yeah. There are a couple under the kitchen sink. I bought them over the winter after we had a power outage.”
I quickly went to retrieve the candles. I had no idea where she kept anything else in the kitchen and had to rummage through the drawers for a few minutes before I could locate a book of matches. On impulse, I decided to lug one of the kitchen chairs into the bathroom. It would be better than kneeling on the floor for an indefinite time.
I paused when I felt a draft. The window on the other side of the table was cracked open, allowing the cool night air to flow into the room. Angling around the table, I quickly closed it, not wanting Gianna to catch a chill when she got out of the tub.
When I returned to the bathroom, I lit the candles, then positioned the chair by the edge of the tub and sat down. Gianna turned to give me a curious, yet almost angst-ridden, look.
“For someone who said no sex, you’re certainly doing a good job setting the mood,” she murmured.
“I don’t need sex to be happy.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute,” she scoffed.
I chuckled and reached for the loofa sponge she had hanging off the showerhead.
“Okay, fine. I’ll admit, I want inside you more than anything. How could I not? But honestly, I feel like sex is just a formality for the true intimacy we already have. I’m satisfied being with you, regardless. What can I say? I guess I’m an old-fashioned guy.”
I squeezed body wash into the sponge, worked it into a lather, and spread it over her back and shoulders. Using one finger, I traced a line down her back, sliding over the slight notches of her spine.
“Or maybe it’s the boy scout in you.”
“Nah. I’ve always been kind of a hopeless romantic. My sister says I get it from my dad. It might sound crazy, but I could never understand today’s swipe-based dating scene,” I mused, working my thumb around her shoulder blade to smooth out a knot of tension. “None of the girls I dated were honest about their relationship goals. They were either allergic to commitment, having one eye on the next swipe, or they wanted to get married after the first date. There was never any in-between. Modern dating is a hot mess, in my opinion.”
Gianna nodded in agreement.
“My friend, Natalia, always said chivalry is lost. Too many prefer looking at a screen over making eye contact with a human being. I think you’re a rare exception. I can count on one hand how many times you’ve texted me. You’ve always called or spoken to me in person.”
“I would text you more, but you’re always worried about going over your monthly allotment. You know,” I added as an afterthought. “We could solve that problem if I added you to my cellphone plan.”
There was no mistaking the way she stiffened beneath my palms.
“No. I’ll get a better cellphone plan one day on my own… but thank you.”
“Fair enough,” I replied, thinking about what she’d said earlier about her husband controlling her. I now had an understanding why she wanted to maintain her independence, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. As much as I wanted to make her life easier, I had to respect her decisions.
“I wonder if romance was hard for our grandparents and great-grandparents,” she said, returning to our previous topic. She craned her neck to the side, allowing me to massage the tendons above her collarbone. “I mean, I don’t want to glorify a time period with repressive gender roles and patriarchy, but I am curious if good, old-fashioned courting made things easier.”
“It did for us.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about the six months we spent just being so-called friends. If that wasn’t old-fashioned courting, I don’t know what is.”
“Hmmm… you might be on to something there.” She fell silent for a while as I massaged her neck and shoulders, until eventually angling her head back to look at me. “Derek, can I ask you something?”
My fingers slid over a raised area near her shoulder, and I paused to look at it. The discoloration on her creamy skin was similar to what I’d seen on her abdomen that day at Camilla’s—another scar. I pushed down the rage threatening to boil over and focused on her question.
“You can ask me anything.”
“Why me?”
I carefully studied her face and tried to get a read on what she was thinking. Her eyes looked moist as if she was holding back tears. I had a thousand answers for her, but I wasn’t sure if they would be too much for her to hear. My throat clogged with emotion. This woman owned my heart in more ways than one. Taking a chance, I wrapped my arms around her wet shoulders and pressed my lips lightly to her forehead. She didn’t push me away, closing her eyes and melting against me.
“I think the bigger question is, why not you? After everything you’ve been through, nobody would blame you if you didn’t want to be involved romantically with anyone ever again. I’m humbled by your strength, and I’m honored that you chose me. I’d be a fool to not want someone like you. When we first met, I knew there was something about you. I just didn’t know what. Then you were gone, and there was this ache in my chest. I don’t know if this will make sense, but it was akin to a phantom pain—as if a part of me was lost, even though it was never a part of me to begin with.”
“It makes perfect sense,” she replied softly. “I thought about you too. Our meeting should have been inconsequential, yet you were often the safe place in my head when things… when things were bad.”
Her eyes glistened with tears as she reached up and pulled my head down. Our breaths mingled hesitantly as I waited for her to close the distance. When she did, our mouths melded in perfect harmony. Her tongue danced with mine in a perfect rhythm of temperance and desire. The kiss was sweet yet indescribably erotic.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered against her mouth before running my tongue over her lips, demanding she open to me. I kissed her tenderly, passionately—desperately. I wanted to erase her horrors and give her something new to dream about.