“Back for more,” Hana joked when she walked into the room. After dumping her bag in the corner, she joined me on the mat next to the ring. I just smiled weakly, trying not to look at the posters of fierce MMA fighters on the walls. Her grin turned into a frown. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know, Hana. I honestly don’t know. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m only fooling myself.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the police just in case? I mean, if your husband really is here, he doesn’t have the pull in New York like he does—”
“No, Hana. No police. It won’t make a bit of difference. There are good cops and bad cops, but I’ve yet to meet one who didn’t hide behind the blue wall of silence. If there was a way for people to know who the bad cops are, they wouldn’t be bad. I don’t know who Ethan has paid off, so I can’t trust any of them. Besides, even if the NYPD did help me, that wouldn’t stop Ethan from coming for me. You and I both know that.”
She sighed and shook her head.
“The shit women have to go through just isn’t fair.”
A silence passed between us, neither one of us needing to elaborate on how skewed the system was.
“I’m scared,” I whispered, more to myself than to her.
Before she could respond, Derek came into the room with Xi following behind him. He nodded curtly, then walked over to the stereo system.
“Are you stretched?” Derek asked me.
“All set to go.”
“Good. Go gear up. Xi is going to… well, he’s going to try to kick your ass again today. But the keyword there is ‘try.’” Looking pointedly at me, his face turned hard. “You aren’t going to let him win today. Do you understand me?”
My eyes widened in surprise. Derek had never taken an authoritative tone with me—ever. As I tried to decide whether that had been the missing link to all this, I went to put on the protective gear.
Derek turned on the stereo, and angry, growling lyrics from Three Days Grace blasted through the speakers. Derek nodded his head at Hana and pointed to the door. Reacting to his silent message, she went and closed it.
With the music loud in my ears, I climbed up into the ring. Xi began by taking me through a series of drills, none like the self-defense moves I’d learned. He taught me how to respond to a first hit and how to initiate one. All were grueling once we got into it, and I hit the deck more times than I could count. After an hour, Xi took a step back.
“Are you ready to go at this for real now?” he asked, his Japanese accent thick in between pants.
“Yeah, let me just grab a quick drink.”
Walking over to the corner of the ring, I took the water bottle Derek held out to me.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to prove here, Sparky. This is a bad idea,” he warned. “Xi went easy on you yesterday. Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach. I was still sore from yesterday, and my muscles were already wrought with exhaustion from today, but Derek didn’t understand why I had to do this—why I had to be prepared. He was a man and I was a woman. As much as I cared for him and appreciated his many self-defense lessons, he would never truly comprehend how different our worlds were. Instead of showing any sort of concern, I just nodded and handed the bottle back to him.
“I’m ready.”
Turning around to face Xi once more, I moved to the center of the ring. Without warning, he attacked. I was on my back in a matter of seconds with his body towering over me.
“This is bullshit!” Derek roared. “Enough of this!” He crossed the ring and placed a hand under my arm to help me up.
“No,” I hissed and shrugged him off. Getting back to my feet on my own, I rounded on him. “You don’t understand, Derek!”
“I don’t understand what? I mean, come on! You expect me to sit back and watch you get pulverized by a man twice your size?” Gone was the authoritative tone he’d originally come in the room with. Now, all I heard was genuine concern and fear.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Tell me one reason why I should allow this to continue.”
“Because I need to be ready, damn you!” I shouted. “If Ethan comes for me again—and I know he will—I need to be ready. So, are you going to help me or not?”
Derek and I stared at each other, a battle of wills neither one of us was willing to surrender to. After a few moments, resignation settled into his shoulders.
“Fine,” he spat out and moved back to the corner of the ring. “Xi, go again.”
Once again, Xi came at me without warning. When I turned to face him, he was already there poised to clothesline me, but I anticipated his movements. Using my shorter height to my advantage, I easily ducked out of the way. Unfortunately, my triumph was short-lived. Before I could get my feet planted firmly once again, Xi turned and landed a blow to the side of my head. I had protective headgear on, but that didn’t stop the ringing in my ears. The force of the blow sent me sideways, and I went down hard.
“That was a fucking cheap shot, Xi,” I cursed.
“Not good enough, Gia!” Derek yelled. “This isn’t like classroom lessons. Your attacker will always take the cheap shot. You need to anticipate and react accordingly. Get up and do it again!”
I scowled at Xi and got to my feet. I was pissed at his tactics to catch me unaware. In class, maneuvers were taught, and we’d practice accordingly. Sneak attacks hadn’t been practiced at all. But Derek was right—real life wouldn’t be anything like self-defense class.
I moved toward the center of the ring. I saw Hana moving along the far wall out of the corner of my eye and glanced her way. In that split second, Xi was on me like white on rice. With one swift kick, he swept my legs out from under me, and I went down again.
“Shit, Xi. What the—” I began, but Derek cut me off.
“I saw your eyes shift to Hana. You let yourself be distracted. Do it again!”
So, we did—and again, and again. Angry music raged on as I was repeatedly brought to my knees. I lost count of how many times I found myself flat on my back. Angry, rage-filled tears stung my eyes when Xi brought me down yet again.
Who was I kidding?
I’d never be able to handle myself if Ethan came at me. He’d win. He’d always win.
Suddenly, the music was silenced. Xi stood over me, and I closed my eyes, so he wouldn’t see my tears. I expected Derek to yell again, but instead, I heard his quiet voice next to my ear.
“Keep your eyes closed. You need to learn to trust your instincts and see with more than your eyes. Tell me what you hear,” he said. Doing as instructed, I listened to the sounds around me.
“I don’t hear anything. Just some thumping coming from the racquetball courts.”
“Wrong. Listen again.”
Taking a deep breath, I trained my ears to pick up the slightest sounds around me.
Breathing.
I could hear Xi’s labored breaths from taking me to task for the last hour.
Swish, swish, squeak.
There was a rustling of material, a sound I recognized it as the material of Hana’s wind pants, followed by the scuff of a sneaker against the polished concrete floor.