“I... You...” Colin stared slack-jawed at her. His eyes heated as they traveled down her body then back up to her face. “Hell.”
“Hmm. I was fishing for a compliment. But I’ll take ‘I... You... Hell,’ I guess.”
“If we didn’t have a reservation, I would pull you into this room and make love to you with your hot little dress pushed up to your waist. You look so beautiful. I won’t be able to undress you later.”
She gasped softly, her own body warming and softening to his words. She coughed indelicately into her fist and fought for her composure. She had wanted to wow him, and had succeeded, but it was still a rush. As calm returned to her, she noticed he was handsome as hell in his blue suit and fine gray shirt. She could just about eat him up.
“Turn around,” she said, biting her lower lip.
“What? Why?”
“Because I want to see what those pants do to your fine ass.”
With a shrug, Colin turned in a slow circle for her. He raised an eyebrow with an arrogance that made her body burn. “Do I meet your approval?”
“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “Top marks. Excellent bottom, that.”
His low chuckle made her want to forget about the dinner reservations, but this kind of real date was not easy to come by. In fact, this was their first official date. She wasn’t going to shortchange herself on it.
He stepped out of his room and offered her his arm. “Shall we?”
“Yes, please.” She took his arm and smiled into his eyes.
The dining room was charming and intimate, and Colin had a romantic table by the fireplace reserved for them. He ordered them red wine—she was more of a craft-beer aficionado—then reached across the table and placed the tips of his fingers on her hand for a brief second.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said with a deep blush, suddenly feeling shy.
“I wish...”
“What? What do you wish?”
“I wish... I could have something I can’t have.”
“What is it? Tell me.” She looked intently into his eyes, holding her breath. He seemed to be on the precipice of something monumental, and by the way his gaze bore into hers, it had to do with her. Did he want promises? A future with her?
He shook his head as though to clear it, and laughed lightly. “I wish we could fly to Lake Como and spend a lazy week there. Work has been so hectic for so long, I could really use a break. But alas, Best Placed Bets has no scenes set in Italy, so we wouldn’t have any excuse to go.”
He had been about to say something else. She knew it, and he wisely, but disappointingly, had taken the safer route.
She forced a bright smile and said, “Lake Como sounds wonderful. I always wanted to go there, but it was a bit far for my graduation trip.”
The food was fresh and elegant, but she didn’t taste much of it. The fun, romantic date she’d been hoping for now had an undercurrent of tension and melancholy. Colin was quieter than usual, too.
When they went to bed that night, he made love to her with an intensity that made her heart ache, like he was memorizing every single part of her. It felt as though he was preparing to let her go. In her head, she knew that it was for the best since she had to do the same, but everything in her being screamed that it couldn’t be—that they had to be together.
It was hopeless. She was hopeless. She had gone and fallen in love with Colin.
* * *
“Are you well, Hal-muh-nee?” Colin said, as he kneeled on a bang-suk on the hard floor. He came to his grandmother because he was too lost to find his way back on his own.
Death Valley had been a few months ago, but he still dreamed of waking up with Jihae cradled in his arms, soft and warm in her sleep. He wanted to wake up beside her every morning. At some point along the way, he’d allowed himself to dream that she could be his forever. But now he wanted it to become reality.
“I am, but I don’t think you could say the same,” his grandmother replied, concern drawing her eyebrows together. “Sit comfortably, and tell me what has you so distressed.”
Now that he was in front of his grandmother, he didn’t know where to start. He had screwed up so royally, he didn’t think even she could help untangle him from the mess of knots.
Colin had made himself a part of the investigation of Rotelle Corporation’s espionage scheme. He’d helped rekindle a cold case by effectively spying on Jihae. Their relationship, at least on his part, was built on lies. But the lies and omissions had to stop. He had to find the courage to tell her the truth—all of it—and hope to God she would give him a chance to make it up to her. To make her happy.
“It’s about Jihae,” he said, rubbing his aching chest with the heel of his hand. “No. It’s about me.”
Grandmother gazed steadily at him with a calm countenance, patiently waiting for him to continue.
“I shouldn’t have kept my identity a secret. It was cowardly and manipulative. I should have convinced her that she should work with me despite the fact that I’m a Song.” He looked down at his fisted hands. “Now I’m in love with her, but everything we have together has been built on my lies.”
“Does the girl know that you love her? Does she care for you?”
“I don’t know. I think she cares about me, but once she finds out who I am and what I’ve done, she’ll despise me for it.”
“If that is truly the only outcome, then why are you here?” she asked with a shrewd glint in her eyes. “You are here because you want to correct the mistakes you have made.”
“I do. I want to tell her the truth.”
“What is really holding you back?”
“I’m afraid I’ll lose her when I tell her the truth. Not only that, but I would be asking her to choose between me and her family. Her father would never allow her to be with me. If she stays me then she will lose her family and Rotelle Entertainment.”
“Is it fair to ask that of her?” his grandmother said.
“It won’t only be my deception I’ll reveal to her. To tell her the whole truth, I’ll have to tell her about her father’s attempts to sabotage Hansol and destroy Garrett’s marriage. Will she want to stay with her family knowing that? Maybe I won’t have to ask her to choose between me and her family.”
“Hmm. Don’t you think she might use her knowledge of your deception against our family? To let her father know that we are on his trail?”
“No. Absolutely not. Jihae is honest, fair and principled. She’ll never help her father, knowing what he had done. My gut told me from the beginning that she was innocent. And I have proof that she isn’t involved, if you still have doubts.”