“Okay,” Serene drawls out slowly as she adjusts the baby. Étienne stares at me as though I’ve gone insane. If he knew what image suddenly appeared in my head, maybe he’d understand.
“How have you been Livingston?” Serene asks, never taking her eyes off the baby.
“Fine,” I reply cautiously before I think better of it. “Why?”
Serene lifts a shoulder. “I’ve been seeing you around Rainey more often, and you’ve been less of a Boozy Suzy. Why is that?”
“I don’t know what Boozy Suzy means, and truthfully, I don’t believe I want to.”
“You don’t,” Étienne chimes in.
Serene’s eyes flick in my direction. “So why is that?”
“I’ve decided to no longer partake in alcohol.” I grin at my sister-in-law. “Consider this my resignation.”
“If that isn’t a lie, I don’t know what is,” Étienne says.
“It’s true, brother,” I continue. “I’ve taken to heart all the profound conversations you’ve had with me. It’s time for me to change.”
Étienne mutters curse words under his breath.
“That’s not the question I was asking and you know it. Why have you and Rainey been spending so much time together?” Serene persists.
Both she and Étienne stare at me intently. Particularly my brother. I take no issue with discussing the ladies I’ve been with. However, not once did I think one of those ladies would be Rainey. But if they imagined me confessing to what happened last night with Rainey, they were imagining wrong because I myself wasn’t entirely sure. I’m not filled with regret even though I should be because I was making a bumbling mess out of things. Rainey was someone I couldn’t stay away from. Rainey and I had a long intricate history that was impossible to deny.
“I’m not certain that’s any of your concern,” I say stiffly.
Serene tilts her head to the side as though I was speaking French. “So Livingston Lacroix has been spending time with a woman, and he won’t comment on it … how very singular.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. They weren’t going to stop until they had the answers they wanted. As much as that frays on my nerves, I will not tell them a single detail about Rainey and me.
Serene glances at Étienne. “How was that? Did I sound like someone from this time?”
“Yes, you did.”
Serene raises her hand midair and gives what she calls an “air five” to Étienne. Since Serene has become a permanent part of this era she has made a conscious effort to tweak her vocabulary and stop saying popular sayings from her time. Typically, it ended up with a lot of malapropisms on her part.
“Are we finished with this conversation?” I ask.
It doesn’t take long for Serene to control her laughter. She solemnly looks at me. “In all seriousness, don’t you ever get lonely in the Lacroix house all by yourself?”
“Are you askin’ if I want a wife?”
“Absolutely.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Why not?”
I start to tick the reasons off on my fingers. “Because I prefer the vastness of space as my own and don’t want to share it with anyone else. I become uninterested far too quickly, and I cannot care for myself, let alone another human.”
For years, those selfish reasons have been my justification for being a bachelor. As for right now, the only reason that rings true is the last one. I don’t know if I would want to put anyone through the nights I go through, and the shame I wake up to. If I was to marry, I’d only give my wife misery.
“What about Rainey?” Serene says.
“What about Rainey?” I shoot back.
“She’s a woman.”
“That’s debatable,” I murmur, but it’s a lie. The image of her dropping her nightgown to the floor and boldly standing naked in front of me flashes through my mind.
If I left Belgrave right now, how long would it take me to get to her home? Subtly, I shake my head. I can’t sneak into her home during the day.
“You weren’t debating it when you were kissing her like a sailor on leave,” Serene retorts.
Étienne laughs and covers it by coughing into his fist.
Looking at Serene, I shake my head. “Whatever happened to discretion?”
Serene shrugs. “There’s no such thing as discretion in this family. I remember you having a lot of fun with Étienne and me when we first … got together. Of course I’m going to give you a hard time.”
“That was quite different.”
“In what way?”
“The two of you …” I pause, searching for the right words. “The two of you have a mutual attraction.”
Serene and Étienne continue to stare at me as though I might have more to say. I stare back, obstinately standing in place. In every respect, the circumstances surrounding Rainey and me are different from Serene and Étienne.
Right?
Right. They loved each other. There was no love between Rainey and me. Just the strong desire to be intimate.
My brother clears his throat. “I’m uncertain why we’re even discussin’ this. Rainey is eleven years younger than Livingston.”
“Your wife is nearly 100 years younger than you,” I point out.
At that, a three of us become silent. Smirking, Serene looks at Étienne. “Care for a rebuttal?”
Étienne looks at the floor. “No, no …” His voice fades before he impatiently flings a hand in my direction. “This conversation doesn’t pertain to me. It’s about Livingston and Rainey!”
Once again, they look at me. Tired and ready to leave the room, I do what anyone else would. I cave. “If you must know, Rainey and I have kissed once,” I lie.
Serene is unmoved by the announcement. “You and Rainey kissed.”
“When you gave birth, did you lose your hearin’? Yes, we kissed.”
“I was screaming so loud, it’s a possibility,” Serene replies. “Now keep going; we already know about the kissing part. If you recall, I interrupted the two of you.”
Of course, I recalled. If Serene hadn’t walked into the ballroom, the kiss would’ve continued. “There’s nothin’ to go on about.” I avert my eyes. “We kissed. The end.”
Serene watches me carefully. “No, that’s not the end. But I have more questions so I’ll let that go. What are you going to do about this?”
I look at Étienne whose gaze is conveniently on his newborn son. I have no one to support me. “There’s nothin’ to do. Believe it or not, a kiss can simply be a kiss.”
“I’m aware of that. However, when you have the history the way you and Rainey do, it isn’t simply ‘a kiss.’”
Rainey and I were far past a simple kiss.
“I’m starting to think that perhaps …”
Serene’s words fade, and as she tries to think of the right thing to say, I cut in. “Startin’ to think what?”
“That as much as I think this bachelor idea will pay off in the end, Rainey’s beginning to feel like …” Serene repeatedly snaps her fingers before she points at me. “Like Consuelo Vanderbilt!”