We all continue to play while Tate sings. Cameron comes up to me, and as he does, he moves his microphone away from his mouth.
“I know that was the hardest thing you’ve ever done. She’ll be all right. Zoey will check on her and get back to us,” he reassures me.
“I get the love hurts bit now,” I reply, feeling my heart heavy in my chest.
“So never happening to me.” Cameron chuckles as he struts away, and we launch into the next song.
This is probably going to be the longest concert ever. I love my music, but I also love my wife. Why does everything have to be so difficult?
Chapter 22
Yivi
#PleaseLetMeGoItsTheOnlyWay
I hated leaving Liam’s side, but I couldn’t listen to the words of their song any longer. It made me feel like a fraud. I was the devil in the song. I have to get away. It’s the only way to avoid being found by the Leader again and destroying Liam’s life with the ghosts of my past.
My heart is breaking.
I can barely see through the tears running down my face as I grab a couple of the belongings Liam has given me and put them into a bag. I always said I’d leave with nothing, but some of these little presents mean so much.
Liam gave me a band t-shirt at the first concert, and all the guys signed the back. I need that with me. I have to keep a part of them alongside me. Zoey bought me this really nice planner with stickers. I’ve absolutely no use for it on the run, but I can’t bear to part with it either. The things I’m taking are my memories. They aren’t practical. They’re reminders of my family who I’m going to miss so much. My bunk has pictures of me and Liam on it. I should leave them behind, but I can’t. I pull a few of my favorites off and tuck them into the bag.
I’m still wearing the jewelry Liam’s given me. Taking it off, I place it on his bunk, along with the note I wrote earlier, begging him not to search for me, because I don’t want to be found.
I can hardly breathe.
I feel sick again.
I’m not sure I have the strength to get through this, but then I remember the Leader’s voice in my head. He’ll make me a devil in Liam’s eyes, the bad person in all of this, and I can’t bear the thought of Liam hating me. I love him too much. That’s why this hurts so badly.
Bending over at my waist, I try to get some air into my lungs as I pop a teddy bear Liam purchased for me into the bag. It’s such a silly little thing—a souvenir from Seattle, his home. I’ve no clothes other than the ones I’m wearing and the Saving Tate t-shirt. I’ve no underwear, and no food.
No money.
I pull the wallet out of my bag. I have some cash in it and a card Liam gave me should I need it. I can’t take it with me. It’s his, and I won’t take anything from him. I didn’t trick Liam into this marriage for financial gain, in spite of some of the things I’ve seen written about me.
I place the wallet on the bed and shut his curtains. I try not to think of him finding it after he’s discovered I’ve gone missing. His anger and distress will pass eventually. I’m not that memorable.
You’re the woman he loves.
His wife.
I have to get out of here. I sling my bag over my shoulder and head toward the front of the bus. I descend the steps, ready to run into the darkness of the night, when I’m stopped by the angry face of Zoey in front of me. Liam’s bodyguard stands next to her with an equally stern expression. They both block my path.
“Please,” I whimper. “Please, I have to go.”
Zoey folds her arms across her chest. “Who was the man in the queue behind you at the restaurant?”
“What?” I stumble on my words, shocked she’d noticed him. I quickly compose myself and try to move past her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Let me tell you something about me, Yivi. I’ve lived with a liar most of my life. My mom was an alcoholic. She made my life hell, and the first time I felt freedom was when I met Saving Tate. They told you about me leaving the tour once. Well, the reason I left was because my mother tried to kill herself. I went to be with her, but the band couldn’t continue without me. I’d become a part of their family. So instead, they supported me, and my mom is now sober and living her life again.” Zoey’s lips wobble as she speaks. “They don’t fuck around when they say we’re a family. They want to support us.”
“Please move.” I can barely get the words out with the tears cascading down my cheeks.
“Who was the man?”
“Zoey, please.” I move forward to try and barge past her, but she’s too strong. I’m feeling weak, and all I want is to collapse into her arms and tell her everything, but I can’t.
“I don’t love Liam. I don’t want this life,” I scream, the lies almost killing me as they spill from my mouth.
I try once more to push past her. This time, she moves out of my path, and I make my way quickly across the parking lot.
“I don’t believe you. The man in the restaurant was someone from the cult. They’ve ordered you to do something, and rather than do whatever it is, because it will hurt Liam, you’re running away again. The stupid thing is you’re going to kill him doing this rather than trusting him and the rest of the band.”
I freeze on the spot.
The vision of Liam discovering I’m gone enters my head. I can’t do it to him. I can’t break him like that.
“Please,” I whimper again, my words barely audible against the background of the rock concert still going on next to us. I feel Zoey’s hand on my shoulder.
No death, no feeling,
In my core I’m numb,
Bring me back to life.
I drop my bag to the ground as Zoey moves around to face me. I can see she has tears streaming down her cheeks as well.
“Help me,” I plead and collapse in her arms at the realization I can’t do this on my own anymore.
I can’t run because I love Liam too much. I’m so scared, but I know Zoey, Liam, Tate, Austin, and Cameron, my new family, will help me. They all love me. I’ve never been loved before, and it’s taken me a long time to fully understand what it means.
I will come back to life because of them.
Chapter 23
Liam
#ItsTimeForMeToGrowTheFuckUp
I know the second I walk onto the bus and see Zoey with her arms wrapped around a sobbing Yivi that something is seriously wrong. I’m immediately across the floor and pushing Zoey out of the way so I can check on my wife.
“Have you called an ambulance?” I shout, examining Yivi for signs of what’s wrong with her. Her eyes are red rimmed, and she looks exhausted.
“She’s not injured,” Zoey replies as my bandmates enter the bus.
Cameron has a woman with him, but the moment he sees me with Yivi, he turns around and takes her back out. A few seconds later, he returns alone.
Tate pulls Zoey to him and checks her over. It’s then I notice Zoey has been crying as well.
“What’s going on?” I shout with a little bit too much force. Yivi opens her mouth to speak but breaks down again. I cradle her to my chest. “Zoey?”