* * *
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For the first few days after Vivienne got back, everything felt wonderful. She loved being in their house, and back in her familiar bed. Her father went to work all day, and their housekeeper, Juanita, was thrilled to see her, loved fussing over her, and was surprised that she was back before Christmas. Neither Chris nor Vivienne told her what had happened. She sensed that something had gone wrong, either with her mother or at school, but didn’t ask. But there were little signs around the house that told Vivienne that Kimberly was more entrenched in her father’s life than he had told her. She opened one of his closets and another one that had been her mother’s and found it full of women’s dresses and sexy platform shoes. Juanita saw her checking it out, rolled her eyes, and didn’t comment. She missed Vivienne and her mother, and thought Vivienne’s father had gone a little crazy after they left.
A week after she’d gotten there, without seeing her friends, Vivienne was starting to get bored. Mary Beth had sent her a nice text from Saint Ambrose that she missed her, and Vivienne was surprised that she missed her too. There was no one else at Saint Ambrose that she wanted to stay in touch with. She wanted to leave it all behind. She thought about Jamie and Chase at times, but too much had happened and she knew they’d never be friends now. They had both gone back to New York. And after the trial, they’d be in prison if they were convicted.
She went to the therapist her father had found for her and didn’t like her. She wanted to talk about the rape all the time, which made Vivienne uncomfortable and the nightmares had gotten worse. The headaches were almost gone. She was avoiding her friends because she was still ashamed and didn’t know what to say, or how to explain why she wasn’t in school. At best, they’d think she got expelled, which was a disgrace too. But admitting to getting raped was worse.
Vivienne was lying by the pool one afternoon. She didn’t read because she had trouble concentrating, so she bought magazines and flipped through them. The phone rang and she answered, thinking it was her father, since no one else knew she was home in L.A. She was surprised when it was Gwen Martin. Viv thought she was in Massachusetts. She had used her Boston cellphone to make the call.
“So how does it feel to be back in L.A.?” Gwen asked her.
“Okay. I haven’t seen my friends yet, but it’s nice to be home.” She sounded quiet and a little down, which didn’t surprise Gwen. Her parents had been notified of the arraignment, so she knew that Vivienne was aware of it. “How did everything go in court?” she asked quietly.
“About the way you’d expect. They all pleaded not guilty. It’s a formality. It won’t go to trial for about a year. It’s liable to give them a false sense of freedom, as though it’s never going to happen and then it will hit them. They all had to leave school, so I guess they’re all at home now.” She wondered if kids in their world would be expected to get a job of some kind since they weren’t in school. “I’m in L.A. for a couple of days. I was wondering if I could come over and talk to you, since I’m already here.” Vivienne hesitated for a moment while she thought about it, and then answered in a small voice.
“I guess so.”
“Can I come by this afternoon?”
“Sure. I’m just hanging out. My dad’s at work all day.” She was lonelier than she had expected to be. She didn’t feel like going downtown, and it was no fun going out without friends. She missed her mother, but not New York.
Gwen came over at three o’clock. She was wearing a denim skirt and a T-shirt and her red hair was loose, which made her look younger. Vivienne was in shorts, as they walked back out to the pool. It was a big, beautiful, Spanish style house in the Hollywood Hills. They had an impressive art collection, the house was handsomely decorated, and the pool was huge. They poured two Cokes at her father’s bar, and went outside to sit down. Gwen thought Vivienne looked better than she had in the hospital, but there was a sad, haunted look in the girl’s eyes that worried her.
“Is everything okay with you?” she asked and Vivienne nodded.
“It seems weird being back here and not at school,” she admitted. And it gave her too much time to think.
“Are you going back to your old school when you feel better?”
“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere now. I used to FaceTime with my friends here all the time when I was at Saint Ambrose, but I haven’t talked to them since…everything happened. I don’t feel ready to see them yet. I don’t want to have to explain to them why I’m not in school. And if they knew why, I’d feel like a freak. I’m still texting with one of the girls at Saint Ambrose. The school told everyone that I left because I had mono, but they know the truth. It wasn’t hard to figure out when I disappeared, and then the boys got arrested. And at least I don’t have to explain anything to Mary Beth.” But without school now, she felt lost and rudderless, and didn’t like it. “I kind of miss my mom too. My dad is pretty busy. And he has a girlfriend I haven’t met yet.” She didn’t know why she was telling Gwen so much about her life, but she had no one else to talk to, and Gwen was a familiar face now, in a place that suddenly felt unfamiliar. Vivienne had thought it would be different. Or maybe she was different. “I’m still working on my college applications. It gives me something to do. I’m going to apply to a couple of East Coast schools too.” That was a new decision for her. “What are you doing out here?”
“Working on a case, so I thought I’d call you. There’s something I wanted to ask you, since everything doesn’t rest on you now, Viv. The DNA report made a big difference, and a student at Saint Ambrose saw the boys leaving the scene and came forward and made a statement.” Vivienne looked surprised at that. “Whatever happens, the state is going to go forward with the charges, so it’s not all resting on you. I wondered if you might want to tell me now what really happened that night and get it behind you. No games, no bullshit, no covering up for them. It’s going to come out sooner or later.”
“Will I have to testify at the trial?” She was worried.
“You might. The state can subpoena you as a witness, even if you don’t want to be one. But the judge and jury could hear you in chambers. And there may never be a trial,” she said. “They may decide to plead guilty before that. It would be the smart thing to do, if the evidence is too strong against them. That’s probably what their attorneys will tell them. They’d be better off pleading guilty and trying to make some kind of a deal, if the state is willing. You’re not sending them to prison if you tell the truth, and make a statement. You’re just saying what happened. The DNA match speaks for itself, and tells the story anyway.” Vivienne nodded. “The boy who made the eyewitness statement had been having asthma attacks until he came to us. I’m not telling you you’ll feel great after you tell me the whole story, but it might be the beginning of healing, and putting this behind you.” Vivienne nodded again. She wanted that, she just didn’t know how to do it yet. She was trying to figure it out herself.