Thirteen
Nina
I’m lying in bed in my darkened room, wondering if Bryce will be coming in. He went out for drinks with the guys after work. I wasn’t invited, nor did I really want to go, but I would have liked to tell Ben goodbye. Ben’s a good guy, and we’ve always been close, but I don’t feel like myself today. Yesterday, I was happy and sure about where Bryce and I were headed. But then, last night happened, and so many thoughts have filled my head.
For one, if I decide to move forward with Bryce, will I always be filled with anxiety and worry when it comes to him going to work? I have a full life of my own, and when the center opens up, I’ll only be busier. Will I be able to focus on the things I need to do without worrying if he’s in danger? When we have kids, will I be worried that their dad might not come home one night?
Second, he met my parents. He thinks my dad saved his life. If he found out who my dad was, did he find out who I was too? Am I what brought him here? Is being with me some cosmic way of making things up to my dad? Because my dad saved him, does he think he has to take care of me to make up for him losing his life? Did Bryce come here just for me, or is it really a coincidence that we have this connection, and we both ended up here?
Knowing all of this, does it change anything for me? He said he loved me, but he said it when he thought I was fast asleep. He hasn’t mentioned it at all today. Maybe he’s waiting to tell me in some special way? Or maybe he’s not planning to tell me at all. Maybe saying the words while I was asleep was just a way to get them out. God, I feel like I’m going crazy. How does anyone do this? How do you let go of all of your concerns and fears and truly be with someone? These are the thoughts that are keeping me awake, that have kept me quiet and closed off all day.
I hear the front door open, and a few minutes later, the shower comes on. I push back the blankets and strip off my clothes on my way to the bathroom. I pull the shower back while his face is in the stream of water. I wrap my arms around his waist, and he jumps.
“You scared me,” he breathes out, spinning in my arms.
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you doing up? I figured you’d be fast asleep by now.”
“I have too much stuff on my mind.”
“Youth center stuff?”
I shrug. “That…and you.”
His brows pull together as he studies my face. “What questions do you have about me?”
I take a deep breath. I guess there’s only one way I can get the answers I so desperately need. “You said you think my dad saved your life.”
“He did save my life.”
I nod. “Well, am I what brought you here? Is being with me some way to make it up to him for him losing his life?”
His face suddenly relaxes as his hands move up to cup my cheeks. “Not at all, Nina.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “I looked you up, I admit it. I was planning on finding his family and telling them that he died a hero. But once I saw that his only family was you, a young girl who was all alone in the world now, I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t look you in the eye and tell you that you were all alone because of me. So that was that. I closed the book on that chapter of my life and started to write something new.
“I thought I could just put everything behind me and carry on as if nothing happened. But every day became harder. I found myself wondering, is today going to be another bad day? The worry alone was enough to ruin a good day, so I decided I needed to get out of the city. I started looking for jobs online, and I applied for this one. When I got it, I had no idea you were here. I was just looking for some relief.”
“But did you see me here that first day and know who I was? The way you were looking at me…”
“I was looking at you the way I was because I was attracted to you. You were beautiful. You are beautiful. When we were introduced, I knew your last name sounded familiar, but all the records had your legal name, no Nina. It wasn’t until you told me the story of your parents that I put two and two together. It had nothing to do with the way I saw you or the way I fell in love with you. I love you, Nina. I love you so fucking much, and I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. You’ve gone from someone I wasn’t allowed to touch to someone I’d die if I couldn’t touch. You and me, we’re meant to be. Call it destiny or fate or some divine gift from your parents if you want. You and me, we’re written in the stars.” Without another word, he pulls my lips to his and kisses me soft and slow, but full of love and passion. I forget everything else. I forget my worries and concerns. It all falls away with just the slightest touch from him.
He pulls me against him and carries me to the bedroom, where he covers my body with his. The rest of the night is spent in a blur of body parts, moans, gasps, and ecstasy.
Days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months. The summer flies by and changes to fall, and fall gives way to winter. The roads on the mountain are covered in deep snow, but the fire burns hot and keeps us warm. We snuggle up every chance we get. Bryce and I have settled into a nice rhythm with things. With the center being completely finished, I’ve quit my job at the police station. Now, I spend my days making the final decisions for the center. I decorate rooms, order the necessary materials needed for classes, and start the interviewing process to hire some staff. And as I’m no longer employed by the station, Bryce and I are finally able to come out of the cabin we’ve been hiding in. We’re a real couple now who go out on dates and can be seen touching and kissing. I’ve never been happier.
Some days, I still have a horrible sense of worry when he leaves the house, but I’ve been able to control it by telling myself our town is safe and that my man knows what’s best. He knows how to handle any situation thrown his way, and he’s finally gotten the I’m-single-and-have-no-one-to-worry-about mentality out of his system. Now, he makes decisions based on what’s best for the both of us.
When he’s not at the station, and I’m not at the center, we spend our time on the couch in front of the wood-burning stove. We cuddle and watch TV while I sketch out the new plans to extend my—our—cabin. He likes to watch me sketch, and oftentimes, he has good ideas that I incorporate into the plans. My one bedroom, one bath cabin will soon be a full-sized house with three bedrooms, two baths, an office/studio for me, and a workout room for him. We’re also planning on recreating Red’s patio that I love so much, and we have more plans for the property, like adding a barn, and, maybe one day, owning horses and other livestock.
We’re nice and settled with some plans for the future, and right now, I couldn’t ask for anything more.
In the morning, we go our separate ways—him to the station and me to the newly built center. Everything is almost ready, and we have our grand opening in a week. There’s so much to do and not a lot of time to do it in. Bryce has had to throw down the hammer a time or two and make me come home at night when I’m too engrossed in my work.
Today, I managed to unpack a load of stuff that had come in for the art room. There are easels all set up with a canvas on each one. There are drawing tables, light tables, and even a pottery wheel. There are rows and rows of shelving to hold paint, brushes, and other supplies. And this is only one of the classrooms. We’re also going to offer woodworking and computer classes to teach kids everything from typing to coding. There are many other rooms for tutoring and studying, along with a library. I’m overwhelmed with happiness that my dream is finally coming to life.