Not because I spent every torturous minute in my own form of hell.
I waited three weeks so he would know I didn’t take this decision lightly. I wanted Cooper to have no reason to question me. I wanted to cancel out any argument I knew he would have, specifically, that my sexual desire was what had spurred me to get where I was now… although I was horny as fuck.
Three weeks I waited… three long weeks.
Anxious to take this leap, it was now time to move forward with this man who’d ruined me in every way. Knowing he usually didn’t get home until late afternoon, I purposely hung out at the coffee shop across the street from his building to buy some time. It was still a risk. He could be anywhere, and if I had to sit there for hours, then so be it. But when late afternoon became evening, and I’d consumed my weight in coffee, a light flicking on in the window on the top floor had me suspecting he’d been in there all along.
Why would Cooper James Stanton make anything easy on me?
A few minutes later, I was outside his unit and feeling a bit winded. I knew it wasn’t just the stairs I had to scale with a heavy suitcase to blame. Taking a moment to drag in a breath, I gave one hard knock on the wood-paneled door and waited.
First there was shuffling, and then there was silence. Knowing he was staring at me through the little peephole, I gave him a flirty wave. “Open up, Cooper.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too. Open and I’ll tell you.” A lock unlatching, the door creaking on its hinge, and more deafening silence echoed in the hallway behind me. His gaze cut to the suitcase beside me and then back to my eyes, where he stared in shock. “Surprise,” I said with a grin.
“When your calls and texts came less frequently, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. When they stopped altogether, I assumed—”
“You know what they say about assuming,” I said, cutting him off.
Ignoring me, he drilled his hazel-hued wrath right into my skull. “I’m really mad at you.”
“I have no doubt.” I released a frustrated huff of air and added, “Are you going to let me in or what?”
I had to suppress a chuckle when he stepped aside with a tightly clenched jaw. Getting off on the wrong foot wouldn’t make this any easier. While my feet got me into his place, my eyes took it all in. It screamed of Cooper, from the his intoxicating scent to the bookcase loaded with leather-bound reads stretching across one wall. I could easily envision him there, living his life in an uncomplicated way, and a sudden urge to be included in that life overwhelmed me. His place was larger than I’d thought, and being blocks from his university as well as from the beach made the location golden.
No sooner had I let go of the suitcase handle than he turned on me. “What the fuck, Ricky? Do you know what you put me through these last few days?”
“I’m sorry.”
He gripped his hips and glared. “That’s it? You’re sorry?”
“I can go into detail as to why, but it all comes down to the reason that I’m here now.” His scowl smoothed, as did his posture. “Trust me, there’s a method to my madness. You’ll need to forgive me first before I enlighten you, though.”
“Why exactly?” he groaned with little patience. “Sit. Do you want a drink?”
“Yes… anything but coffee.” At seeing his quirked-up brows, I shrugged. “Forced to sit in that café across the street for hours meant I had enough lattes to last a lifetime.”
“How many hours?”
“Four.”
Those sexy lips betrayed him by fighting a grin. “Why didn’t you just knock on my door sooner?”
“Because I assumed you weren’t home.”
“You know what they say about assuming,” he threw back in my face.
“Yeah, well, my assumption was accurate.” Realizing that he was indeed home on a Wednesday, I asked, “Why are you home? Are you sick?”
“No.” He strode into his kitchen without elaborating. He definitely took his time getting us each a drink, and I had settled on his big squishy couch by the time he appeared. Handing me a glass of amber liquid, he said, “Iced tea.”
“Thanks.” As he took the chair furthest from my physicality, I prodded, “So why weren’t you at work earlier?” The discomfort swirling around us was palpable. “Cooper? What’s going on?”
“I handed in my resignation a week ago. They thought it best to replace me before the semester started, so I’ve been home.”
“What? Why?”
Complete disbelief spread across his face. “Why? Because I worried you were pulling away, and although I wanted you to speak the fuck up as to what you wanted happening between us, I came to the conclusion losing you over something you may not be able to give me wasn’t worth being stubborn for.”
It was my turn to stare at him, stunned stupid. “You thought you were losing me?”
“Why wouldn’t I think that?” he barked, his anger revealing itself once again. “You went silent on me, and I spent the last four days regretting what I’d done. Regretting actually considering picking up my life and moving it for us.”
Fuck. All I’d wanted was to surprise him, make him see I was ready to pick up my life to be wherever he wanted to be. Feeling like a complete shit, I gripped the back of my neck. “I’m sorry, Cooper. In my mind, you were back at work, waiting to hear from me, and by showing up in person I could show you my plans and not just tell you them.”
Again, his expression softened. “And what is your plan?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I asked with a wave of my hand toward the suitcase in his foyer.
“I don’t do obvious, so tell me anyway.”
“I planned on being here in Jersey with you and talking through the direction our lives should go. Florida? Here? Either way, we would discuss it together.”
He stared at me for the longest time, digesting my admission and probably trying to offer a rebuttal. Assuming my words had sunk in the way I wanted them to, he shook his head, lost for words. “I mean it,” I added for good measure. I want to be wherever you want to be.” Slowly, he rose from his seat, came closer to take my hand, and tugged until we stood nose to nose. “I take it I’m forgiven?” I asked.
His eyes drilled into mine, his lips taunted me, and his hand slid around to my back. The desire I’d been forced to channel since he’d left Florida bubbled to the surface. I knew right then and there, if he didn’t forgive me, I would resort to dirtier measures.
“Am I?” I pushed harder.
“What were the words you used earlier?” Staring away, he brought his gaze back to mine and added, “I could show you and not just tell you.”
He sure did show me… for an hour he teased and tormented as a punishment of sorts, kissing and touching everywhere but where I needed him to. And as far as I was concerned, I paid my penance and his time was now up.
“Cooper, you have two choices.” Lifting his head from where his mouth had been licking and biting my hip, he shook his head. Before he could speak, I let my sexual ire get the best of me. “Yes you do! Enough with this shit.” As calm as a fucking cucumber, he smirked and removed himself from between my legs. “Where are you going?” Again, he didn’t respond but instead disappeared into the hall before returning with a box, a bottle, a book, and a motherfucking dildo. “I don’t need a toy. Your cock will do.”