Whenever someone goes through the door, I look at the keypad to see if there is a way that I can get in. There isn't. The only way in is with a card, and a fingerprint. I mean, what the hell is back there that needs a fingerprint? I have thought of a few things: guns, drugs, women, gambling. I mean, it could be anything. I want to know.
I look back up at the workers, and it hits me, they have to get in and out of the house too. How do they get in there?
And that's my plan to get into the hotel. I need to find out how the staff members do it; by the end of the night, I will find out what Atlas is hiding behind that door.
“I’ve been looking for you?” I hear Atlas behind me, and I quickly look away from the staff working.
"You've found me," I say. He joins me on the swing, but I don’t look at him. I continue to draw my picture.
"I'm sorry I snapped," I nod my head a little letting him know I’m paying attention. I have nothing to say to him about it. What is there to say? If I ask him what is wrong, he's not going to tell me. "Brooklyn, I said I'm sorry. That's not a word I say very easily," I turn my head to look at him as I hear a clicking sound, which he’s just made with his tongue. "I think I've said that word three times in my life."
"Well I do feel special: you kidnapped me, and you've said sorry. Lucky me!" I snap back.
He had to ruin our beautiful day, didn't he; he had to lose his temper, to keep his hotel hidden from me? I might not have the right to see it, but he doesn’t have the right to keep me locked here either, but he has. So I should at least get some of the answers that I want.
"Are we planning on keeping this attitude all evening?" He takes the pencil out of my fingers, with enough aggression to push my hand.
"Are you planning on holding me here forever?" If he wants to ask questions, so can I.
The first time he spanked me, I thought he was hurting me, I was scared. Now after being with him for a while now, I know that is how Atlas likes it to be. He likes to control, not hurt to the point that something bad will be the outcome. He knows what he is doing, he knows how to be in control that I’m still safe with him. So I know that Atlas isn’t hurting me, and I think now he will take me out if I asked him too, only with him though. But I miss seeing other people. I really enjoyed my night out with Gabby, and I was hoping to go out again, more. But no, I'm a prisoner, again, like I was when I was sick in hospital: living alone, and having no one.
“Just until you fall in love with me ag....”
Atlas stops himself from saying whatever he was saying. In love again, when have I ever been in love with Atlas? It makes me curious about what he was going to say.
"To answer your question, yes, I plan on keeping you here forever.”
There are so many things I want to call him, right now: asshole, bastard, motherfucker, but I’m not saying them out loud. He's already in a bad mood. How can someone’s attitude change so fast? At lunch he was nice, sweet, even; but it all changed.
I look at Atlas, and he stares at me through his blue eyes. I can't seem to take my eyes off them; without Atlas even touching me, he still has a hold on me. How can he control me so much?
From the very first day, those eyes appeared in my dreams, I've never been able to take my eyes away from them. They almost feel like they're a part of me now.
I shiver as a memory replays in my head, a memory of Atlas looking at me like he is today. I feel the pounding against my chest, as the beat begins to race. What is happening? Things are changing inside me, it’s almost like everything I’m feeling, doesn’t belong to me. It's so hard to explain at the moment. I’m having thoughts about Atlas that I’ve never dreamed about, and I don’t know where they’re coming from.
I start to stand up, making Atlas stand up with me; I feel his hand around my arm, and he pulls me towards him so that I can’t walk away.
"What are you thinking about?" Atlas asks, but he’s asked that question as though he knows I'm hiding something. How do I tell him the truth? How do I tell him that I've been seeing him for almost a year? I don't have the answers to those questions, so how can I answer them?
“Nothing,” I tell him.
I look down at my arm, as I feel him tightening his grip, he pulls me even closer to him.
“You lie again, and I will fucking spank the truth out of you. Do you hear me?”
"I can do everything you want me to do, but you're never going to let me leave; and I have to live with it," I snap at him, and I’m not sure if he believes me or not, but my voice was shaking as I talked.
The other day Atlas scared me, and I thought that was the worst, but there is something desperate about the way he is looking at me now. Atlas is scaring me. There is something in his eyes that wants to be let free, but he's holding it back. Whatever it is, I have a feeling it’s what keeps him awake at night. I feel he wants to do more with me, but he’s holding back. "If you see everything that I can give you, and how much I want you to be here, then you won't want to leave," Atlas tells me. I know he wants me here, but I'm annoyed he's not telling me why he wants me here.
He looks away from me for a split second, once he returns his gaze to me, my body shivers, but I don’t know why. “I need you to love me.”
Love him? I'm doing everything he wants me to do because I'm scared of what he will do if I don't.
Whenever he touches me I feel amazing, and I remember my dreams. I remember the visions of him. It makes me want to feel them in real life. But that does not mean I love him, maybe I’m coming close to that. Today I was starting to feel something for him, after a year of dreaming about him, and spending time with him I was going to feel something. Every time I closed my eyes and saw those blue eyes, I would feel something special inside me; now I can feel it when I’m awake.
“I will see you for dinner,” I reply as I try to get my arm out of his grip, but he has a firm hold on it. “Atlas, you’re hurting me.”
Atlas' grip finally loosens enough for my arm to escape; before he can pull me closer, I walk away from him.
I look back over at some of the garden workers again through the window. Now if I can watch the workers and wait until one has finished their task, I can follow them to wherever they go. I just have to hope that Atlas and the others aren't in the hotel when that happens.
“What have you been drawing today?” I hear Rhys behind me.
Between him and Aiden, I seem to be more relaxed around Rhys. I don’t know if that's because Aiden is the one that kidnapped me, and he doesn't talk, or because Rhys is friendlier.
"Nothing special, just the garden," I open the pad to the page and show Rhys as he stands next to me. He puts his hands out to take the pad from me, but I pull it closer to me; I don't want him to see the others.
"I promise I won't look at the others, no matter how much I want to know what you draw," Rhys smiles, and I let him have the pad. He looks out at the garden, then back at my drawing.
He takes a step closer to me leaving only a little space between us, to hand back my pad.
“Are you okay? You seem a little-”
"I'm fine, your friend seems annoyed," I cut him off.