“We do not get along. Shocking, I know.” None of us really got along with our parents, so I wasn’t the outcast.
“I moved away when things went beyond annoying and began to get unbearable, and I decided to come out here with Hazel, to a place I loved before.”
“I remember you saying you went to college in Colorado for a year,” Dakota added.
“I did. I loved this area because it was my grandmother’s home before she met my grandfather and moved to California.” My voice cracked, and Hazel set down her glass.
“Is your grandmother okay?” Hazel asked. She had met Grandma Sharon a few times when we were in California, and once here when Grandma came to visit.
I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. Hazel was up in an instant, hugging me tightly, but I had to push her away. “I won’t be able to finish if you’re hugging me. I’m so sorry.”
Hazel wiped my cheeks and then nodded; her eyes now filled with tears.
“Of course. What happened?” she asked.
I looked at my wine, took another sip, and then set it down. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, and this would likely go right to my head if I wasn’t careful. “My parents came here with my cousin Roland to tell me that Grandma passed.”
“That asshole came with them?” Hazel asked and then held out her hand. “Sorry. But I hate your cousin.”
“I hate him, too. But yes, he was here.” I paused. “My grandmother had been dead for over a week. A week,” I repeated. “They already had the funeral. And they didn’t tell me. I didn’t even know that she was gone.” I swallowed hard.
“I was planning to call her for our normal call. But I’d been so in my head, I hadn’t even realized it had been a while since I’d gotten an email or update. A week. She never let that much time pass. My family didn’t tell me anything, you guys. My parents and Roland and the others basically hid her death from me.”
“Those fuckers,” Paris snapped.
“I can’t believe they would do that,” Dakota said. “I mean, I don’t know them, so this might be right in their wheelhouse, but that’s so cruel. I can see from the way you’re grieving that you loved your grandmother.”
“I did. I do. I don’t know what the right tense is supposed to be. I haven’t even had a chance to grieve. They came here because I’m supposed to meet with the lawyer soon about the will. It’s all about money to them. It always has been. They didn’t even have the decency to call or anything to tell me that my grandmother was dead. My mother’s mother is dead, and they didn’t tell me anything until well after the fact. They clearly washed their hands of me after I finally left their precious home and decided that I needed to be my own person. Which is fine. But they decided that I didn’t get to have anything to do with the family. They cut me out. And while I appreciate not having to deal with them, they took something precious from me, and I’m never going to forgive them.”
“I don’t blame you,” Dakota said softly.
“That’s not the only thing I won’t forgive them for,” I whispered and then looked over at Hazel. “There’s something I need to tell all of you. Something that you may hate me for. But I need you to listen while I explain. And I need you to not shove me out of the house and hate me, at least until I finish. Can you promise to do that?” I asked.
“You’re worrying me.”
I looked at Paris. “I know. And I’m sorry. I’ll likely deserve everything you’ll probably shove at me later, but if I don’t get it out now, and all at once, I’ll never be able to.”
“Tell us,” Hazel said, her voice a little cold.
I took a deep breath, and then I told them. “Nate is my ex-husband,” I blurted.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Paris asked.
“Paris, I’m sure she’s kidding. Right?” Dakota asked.
Hazel looked at me in silence, her eyes narrowed.
“When I moved to Colorado for college, Nate and I met, and we fell in love. Somehow, we got it into our brains that we should get married. And that’s what we did when we were in Vegas for spring break.”
They were silent for a moment, and my pulse raced. What would happen if they pushed me away? What would I say? What could I do? I couldn’t imagine my life without them in it, and yet, I knew I wouldn’t be able to blame these wonderful women if they never wanted to see me again.
Dakota let out a breath. “You were married. To our Nate. And you never told us?”
I shook my head, my hands shaking. “No. I didn’t. But yes, we were married. We thought it was us against the world, but it turned out that it wasn’t.”
“And that’s why you hate each other so much,” Dakota whispered.
“Maybe. As it turns out, it was all a complete misunderstanding,” I said dryly.
“That you were married?” Paris asked snidely.
“No, we went into that with our heads full of promise and love and stupidity. My parents made sure they broke us up, though.”
Silence filled the room as the others tried to keep up. I felt like I was drowning.
“They wouldn’t have liked Nate,” Hazel added.
“No, they wouldn’t,” I replied. “Apparently, they found out. My family always had people watching me. They had enough money and could do anything. And they did. They found out I married Nate, and they doctored photos to show that I was cheating on him with my ex-boyfriend. And Nathan believed them.”
“You call him Nathan,” Dakota whispered.
“He believed you cheated?” Paris asked. “What a fucking asshole.”
“You were married,” Hazel said again.
I shook my head and then sat down on the ottoman in front of the table. “Yes. I call him Nathan. It was a thing between us, and sometimes it comes out. And yes, he believed them, but he had proof—or so he thought. I don’t know who would blame him. And, yes…we were married.”
I looked at the others, and they stared. I could see them thinking hard and trying to piece everything together, and I knew I needed to keep going. “It all came out when Nathan came to the house to talk to me. We’ve been trying for a truce, you see. I hated him because he never trusted me, and he hated me because he thought I cheated. Anyway, he came to the house the other day when my parents were there, and the truth came out. Nate and I haven’t talked since. We will, though I don’t know what’ll come of it. But I told him I needed to tell you. And he’s telling his family now.”
“Oh my God,” Hazel muttered. “His brothers are going to hate this.”
“It all started off wrong,” I continued. “When you introduced me to him, I didn’t know how to tell you that we already knew each other. In so many ways.” I laughed hollowly. “How was I supposed to tell you that I had married the person I thought was the love of my life, and that it had turned out to be a moment that shattered me into a million pieces?”
“We’re your best friends, you should’ve told us,” Dakota said, and my heart broke once more. “But we understand about secrets. I get why you couldn’t tell us before we met him. But why keep up with the lie afterwards?”