She took a step back as if I’d hit her, and I cursed under my breath. “Myra…”
“No, you should go. Because we’re doing what I knew we would. We’re lashing out, and hurting each other. And I want to like you in the end, Nathan. You should go. So I can still like you.”
“Myra. I love you.”
“And I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then why are we already lost?” I asked and then turned on my heel and left.
Chapter 19
Myra
The idea that I could make a mistake so severe in such a short period of time shouldn’t surprise me. I had done it before, after all. And yet, all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and pretend that I hadn’t pushed away the man I thought I loved. I was so stressed out and worried about what might come that I forgot to look at what was right in front of me. I needed to fix that.
Nate had left the night before, and I had sat in my studio on my little couch, crying until I had nothing left in me. The girls had texted, but I didn’t think they knew anything. Nate wouldn’t have told his brothers—wouldn’t have told anyone. He would have hidden himself away in his house and cuddled Daisy as he tried to deal with his emotions. The idea that I knew so much about him and yet couldn’t trust his feelings or my own shamed me.
I had made a mistake, and I needed to stand up and say that I was sorry. I needed to tell him that I cared for him. Did I love him? That was the problem. I thought I did, and yet it was all tangled up in everything I had felt for him before, and all of that dissolved into a churning emotion that I couldn’t quite name.
I didn’t want to tell him that I loved him only to realize I didn’t. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
But it was cruel for me to throw his love back at him and tell him that he was wrong as I pretended that we could find our way out of the ashes and embers whole.
I should have told him that I needed more time, but I still wanted to be with him. Instead, I’d gotten scared and pushed him away completely. That was what the cold and calculating Myra did. But the warm Myra who had married Nate hadn’t been silly and stupid like that. She had believed in what she felt.
I needed to trust that person again.
I trusted Nate. I didn’t trust myself, however.
I had to make sure he understood that. And so, I would go to him. I would tell him I was sorry about what happened last night and say that I wanted more time. That I never wanted to hurt him.
I hoped like hell he would forgive me.
My phone rang, and I frowned and looked down at the readout.
It was my lawyer. Dread pooled in my belly.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hello, Ms. West?”
“You can call me Myra.” We had been talking practically daily at this point.
He let out a rough chuckle. He didn’t sound too worried. I had to hope that was a good thing. “I wanted to let you know that the case isn’t going through.”
I frowned, trying to understand what he was saying. “My family dropped the case?” I asked, trying not to hope.
“It seems their lawyer doesn’t want to pursue it. I don’t know all of the circumstances, and I’m going to get them to you as soon as I do know, but they’re not filing any claims. I have a feeling that when they talked to whoever finally looked at what they were dealing with, they decided it would be a lost cause.”
Relief filled me, but I didn’t want to believe it. “Are you sure?” I asked, a coppery taste on my tongue. It was stress, I knew that, but I felt like I might throw up.
“They can still file to contest the will through another lawyer, but their current attorney has dropped the case. That means, for now, we’re going forward with everything. We’re doing everything by the book, but you and Lacey, as well as the others in the will, should be fine.”
“What? I can’t believe their lawyer would tell them to drop it.”
“He was also your grandmother’s lawyer in California. She may have had someone here to handle the will, but he worked closely with her in California. He likely knew everything, and because he couldn’t tell his clients, your parents are now realizing they don’t have a leg to stand on. They may try for something later, but for now, you’re free and clear. I know we have a lot to discuss with the estate and the charities and other things on the docket, and we’ll get there eventually. But you’re not alone in this, Myra. I just wanted to let you know.”
I said a few words, thanking him and saying I would be in touch soon. And then, I tried to catch my breath.
I wasn’t alone.
He’d said the words, and they were true.
Oh, my parents would keep trying to take what Grandma Sharon left. They would do something. And they would never go away, even if I cut all ties to them. But this was one small victory, a bit of the weight off my shoulders.
I felt like I could breathe again, and it reminded me how much of an idiot I was when it came to Nate.
I needed to tell him about this. I needed to tell him so much.
I looked down at my phone, considered texting him to say I was on my way over, but I didn’t want him to push me away. Instead, I pulled out my purse and tucked my feet into my shoes. I would meet him at his house and find a way to grovel. He had been the one to grovel before. Now, it was my turn.
I only hoped he didn’t hate me. I couldn’t go back to the feelings we’d had before. The animosity between us. It wouldn’t be good for either of us—or the family we had made.
The doorbell rang, and my heart flew into my throat. Was it Nate? I hoped to hell it was.
I practically ran to the front door and pulled it open with a flourish, but it wasn’t him.
“Roland?”
“Hey, cuz. We need to talk.” He pushed his way into my living room, knocking me back slightly as he did. I staggered. He closed the door behind him and locked it, and fear crawled up my spine.
“Roland, you need to go. I did not say you could enter my home.”
“Your home. Your will. Everything is all yours. Just like it’s always been. Miss perfect Myra. She gets everything she wants. I’m not surprised that this went in your favor. You probably blew the judge and the lawyers and everybody else to get what you wanted. You’ve always been good on your knees.”
I grimaced, shaking my head. “I don’t know where you’re getting this, but you need to go. I know you’re angry, but this has nothing to do with me.”
He moved forward so quickly I almost missed it. His arm lashed out, and he hit my cheek hard. I moved back, falling to the floor. My phone fell out of my hands, skidding across the hardwood. I reached up and cupped my face, the sting shocking, the skin warm.
“Did you…hit me?” I asked, gasping.
“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. How dare you? How dare you leave this family and think you can have everything. I don’t know what you said to our dear old grandmother, but you are not taking this from me. I need that money. And now, I have nothing. All because you are a fucking whore.”
He lashed out again, but this time, I covered my face, blocking him.
“Stop it. Go away.”
I moved to get my phone, but he shoved me. I fell to my knees, the wood sending pinpricks of pain through my body. My wrist turned, and I fell, screaming out in pain as my shoulder hit the floor.