And then Luke died.
Here, they have wide-open spaces, friends, and they fit in. It’s nice to see.
Melanie rushes over and grips my arm. “Can I go watch the tractor pull?”
“Umm . . .”
“Please, Mom! Chrissy and Carrie Ann’s brother is pulling in a few, and we want to go see if he wins.”
I have no clue what she’s talking about, but she seems really eager. “I guess, just make sure you have your phone on you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course, Mom!”
Jacob leans in, his warm breath against my ear. “She’ll be fine. They almost never end in a wreck where someone gets hurt.”
I turn to him. “What?”
He laughs. “I’m kidding. I’m seriously surprised you know nothing of this. Luke was a champion one year.”
“Oh, I’ve heard about it. He told me all about that year and how much the girls in this town helped him celebrate.”
Jacob grins. “The girls are always the best part.”
“Well, that’s great, but my girl isn’t going to be the best part.”
“Point taken. Still, I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
I relax a little and nod. Melanie is a smart girl, and I was boy crazy at her age, so I can’t really be surprised that she is too. Jacob and I walk through the carnival section, looking for Sebastian and Austin.
We spot them on one of the many spin-until-you-puke rides, both of them grinning and laughing as it whips them around and around.
“Declan used to make the four of us ride until we threw up.”
“And you thought that was fun?”
“It was a rite of passage. Whoever hurled first had to do all the chores in the morning. We would eat until we were so full that we thought we couldn’t make it to the ride, and then . . . then we manned up.”
“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with the Y chromosome.”
He playfully nudges me. “We’re not all that bad. We do have our advantages.”
“Name one.”
“We can open the jars you can’t.”
“I guess that’s one. Give me five then,” I challenge him.
“The jars count as one. We can reach things up on the shelf, carry heavy things—”
“I can carry heavy things.”
He sighs. “Okay, fine, we can carry very heavy things. That’s three. Hmm . . .” Jacob stares off to the side. “Orgasms.”
I burst out laughing. “I assure you that we women can handle that on our own too.”
“Oh, can you? Please enlighten me.”
I smile and look away. “Next.”
“Babies.”
I’ll give him that one—kind of. “You know, thanks to modern medicine, we don’t really need you for that either. However, we do need the sperm, so I guess we kind of need you.”
Jacob turns against the fence, facing the crowd, while I look at the ride. “You’re making me feel rather insignificant.”
“Has that ever happened before?”
“Nope.”
“Welcome to the club of mortal men.”
“I’m not sure I wanted to join this club.”
I smile. “I bet not.”
“Mom! Jacob! That was the best ride ever!” Sebastian grips the metal fence, breaking the playful conversation we were having.
“I’m glad.”
“Can we go again?”
“Do you have enough tickets?” I ask.
Austin holds up a book. “Sean got us each a book so we could ride until we puked.”
Jacob laughs. “That’s the Arrowood way. We ride until we drop. Glad to see my brother is teaching the future how you do these small-town festivals.”
The boys beam. “Can we keep going?”
“Sure. Just . . . try not to puke, Sebastian.”
He elbows Austin. “I bet you I last longer than you.”
Austin snorts. “You’re on.”
And a lifelong friendship has been born. Boys.
The two of them dash off to get back on the ride, and Jacob’s hand grazes my arm. “The kids are going to ride again, how about we have some fun?”
My stomach dips as I wonder what his idea of fun is. “I don’t know if we should go too far . . .”
“Come on, Brenna. Your in-laws went home already, you’re out with a very handsome movie star. Don’t think, just let yourself go for a minute.” His hand is extended, waiting for me to decide. There’s a part of me that knows this is a tipping point.
He’s told me clear as day he wants to kiss me, but he hasn’t, and each time he pulls away to protect me, I want it a bit more.
I thought I was going to melt to the floor today when he talked about his name on my lips.
If I go with him, I’m showing him that my heart is saying to let him lead.
Maybe Cybil is right. I could let myself feel again, knowing it’ll never be anything serious. I could let the attraction be what it is and get my feet wet without letting my heart get tangled. Jacob wants me, and I want him. We’re both adults, and . . .
And before I can talk myself into or out of it, my hand is in his.
He leads me to the Ferris wheel and hands the man a book of tickets. “We want to go until we don’t have any more tickets and keep two cars in front and behind me empty, okay?”
The guy stares at Jacob. “Of course, Mr. Arrowood. I’m a huge fan. I loved your last movie. I can’t wait for the new one.”
Jacob is gracious and offers to sign the book of tickets. “Will that do?”
The operator nods. “Yeah, you can ride all night.”
Jacob’s warm hand engulfs mine as he helps me onto the ride. We get seated and start the climb. “What would you have done if I were afraid of heights?” I ask as we inch higher.
“I figured you might have mentioned that before we got in line.”
“Fair point.”
“You know that the rumors are going to fly about us now.” Jacob leans back, his arm going behind me.
“They already are.”
“The perks of a small town.”
I grip the bar in front of me to keep from nestling myself against him. I want to. Oh, how much I want it, but I need to know what this is before we go down any road.
“What are we doing, Jacob?”
“Riding the Ferris wheel.”
I laugh softly. “You know that’s not what I’m asking.”
“I’m not sure,” he admits and then leans up, taking my hands in his before locking his gaze with mine. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t feel this way. I have talked to my brothers and my publicist about how I know that my feelings for you are unfair. I’m leaving in a few months. I have a contract and a ridiculous filming schedule. The press. Crazy fans who are delusional about the amount of say they have in my life. None of that is fair to you. I’m able to live a very quiet existence in Sugarloaf because this town isn’t impressed with me. The rest of the world thinks I’m hiding away in Canada. When I step back into the life I have, all the fucked-up shit comes with it. So, I’m not sure what we’re doing, but I like you. I want to kiss you, touch you, be around you, and hear your voice. I wanted to direct a play just to make you and your kid happy. Whatever we’re doing is up to you.”