Someone’s books were there on the ground. She picked them up and flipped open the cover.
Well, big surprise, they were Billy’s.
As the Carletons’ driveway came closer, Sarah’s foot eased off the accelerator. What was she doing here? She should have just given Logan the books at church.
But she hadn’t gone to church this morning. She’d spent most of her time looking over the game videos, checking the stats and reminding herself again and again that she had done the right thing. Even if she had kept Billy on the court, they probably would not have won that game.
But it was the niggling question of the “probably” that kept her here, waiting at the end of the Carletons’ driveway. She knew Billy was upset with her. Donna had made her feelings quite clear both of the Sundays she was at church. Neither of them would be killing the fatted calf for her if she showed up unexpectedly at their home.
As for Logan…
She let her mind slip back to that moment of quiet connection they had shared in the gym.
And what do you hope to do about that? Build on it? Rekindle old feelings and old emotions?
She shook her head free of the entanglements she was creating. She had simply come to bring Billy his books. She didn’t need to turn it into a soap-opera moment.
With a decisive motion, she stepped on the accelerator, but was distracted by the marks she saw in the snow coming out of the Carletons’ driveway.
Were those the tracks of a sleigh?
Sarah slowed down as she came nearer, trying to get a better look at the parallel lines punctuated with what looked like hoof marks of horses breaking the fresh snow.
Intrigued, she turned up the driveway and faced a captivating sight, straight out of a Currier and Ives painting. She was looking at red wooden sleigh being pulled by a team of perfectly matched bay horses, heads bobbing as their trotting feet kicked up snow behind them. Entranced by the sight, she followed them all the way to the Carleton house and stopped when they stopped.
The driver tied down the reins and jumped down from the curve-sided sleigh. Logan.
As she put her car into Park and got out, he turned.
“Well, well. Sarah Westerveld has decided to stop in at the Carletons’,” he said, his mouth tipping up into a smile that could be construed as either mocking or teasing. “What brings you here?”
“I’ve brought Billy his books. He left them at the gym.”
“You could have brought them to church this morning.”
Sarah shrugged. “I could have, but I didn’t go.”
Logan let that slide as she walked over to the horse closest to her. Sarah stroked his large neck, surprised at how quiet he stood. “They’re beautiful.” The horse she was petting slowly turned his head, then nudged her lightly.
“They’re a perfectly matched team. They run very well together.”
“I didn’t know you had a sleigh.” She stroked the horse again. “Must be fun sitting behind them when they’re pulling.”
“You’ll have to try it sometime.”
“Thank you for the invitation,” was her response. “Did you train these yourself?”
“My father raised them from colts. He trained them.”
“You’ve got more horses than these…”
“You never did come riding when we were…”
They spoke at the same time, but Sarah noticed that Logan’s voice dropped just before his pause, as if unsure of how to identify their previous relationship.
“No, I didn’t,” Sarah said, remembering precisely the day Logan had extended the invitation to her.
It was early fall when he’d asked her to come riding with him and she’d imagined any number of romantic scenarios, usually involving a quiet place overlooking the river and a picnic blanket, with horses grazing contentedly in the background while leaves fluttered down from the trees above.
And Logan. Looking at her the way she remembered best. Smiling the secretive smile that only she saw, his eyes glowing with unspoken promises.
But basketball season was in full swing and Sarah wouldn’t have time until the new term in January. So they had made plans for later.
And later never came.
“Life got in the way.”
“You left pretty quick. After.”
“After Marilee, you mean.”
“Yeah. I do. It must be hard being in the house after all this time. Being reminded of what you lost.”
A familiar pain lanced her heart. “I lost a lot more than a sister that Christmas,” she said, the words spilling out from a place she had kept hidden for so long.
But as soon as the words left her lips, she wished she had kept them in. It was as if each time she and Logan were together, threads of the past kept getting tangled in the present.
Logan tipped his head to one side, seemingly digging deeper into her memories. “What do you mean?”
She lifted her hand, as if dismissing the question. “I’ll give you Billy’s books and then be gone.”
“I have to put the horses away. Just take them up to the house.”
Sarah wasn’t so sure she wanted to face Donna Carleton again, but it seemed rude to simply hand Logan the books and leave. He had other things to do.
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you around.”
“Oh, I’m sure you will.”
She wondered what he meant by that, but then left it.
She got back in her car and drove it the rest of the way to the house.
Donna answered the door after Sarah rang the doorbell. She had a flour-sprinkled apron on, and Sarah caught the scent of baking rolling out of the house like a wave of comfort. Woven through the scent was the relaxing sound of Christmas carols playing over the stereo.
This was a home, Sarah thought, nostalgia and yearning drawing her in.
“Hello, Sarah,” Donna said, wiping her hands with a cloth. “What can I do for you?”
Sarah held up the books. “Billy left these behind after the game.”
Donna stepped aside. “Just set them on the empty chair there. I’ll tell him you stopped by.”
As soon as Sarah stepped inside, she was enveloped by warmth. “Smells good in here,” she said, trying to make some semblance of conversation.
“Christmas baking.” Donna closed the door behind Sarah, but not all the way, as if anticipating her quick departure. “I got some new recipes from Louise Kennerman.”
Sarah set the books on the chair but felt awkward just leaving immediately. She didn’t know Donna well, but, living in the same small town, had seen her from time to time. Though after Jack’s trial, Donna had disappeared from town life.
Her father thought as little of Donna as he did of her husband, often speaking of her with as much contempt as he assigned to Jack. Sarah never knew why. It was simply one of those things relegated to the adult world. As a teenager she had tried as much as possible to keep her and her father’s worlds from intersecting.
Until she started dating Logan.
“I…I was sorry to hear about your husband,” Sarah said, slipping her hands into her coat pocket. This would be the time to say something appropriate about his character, but the truth was the only things Sarah knew about Jack Carleton had come from her father. “I’m sure you miss him.”