“Why would they feel that way?”
“Have you read the scores in the newspaper?”
“Don’t pay much attention to that and I’m not out and about enough to hear the gossip.”
“Well, it might not be the talk of the town, but I sure get to hear enough of it.” Sarah bit down her rising frustration. “And now I’m wondering if I should even have taken on the job.”
“Of course you should have. You were a star player when you played and I know that Uncle Ted and Ethan said the one time they were able to watch you play, you were fearless. Even got MVP. You know your stuff. They’re lucky to have you.”
“Well, Billy Carleton and his brother Logan don’t seem to think so.” Funny how even saying his name created this tiny quiver of awareness. She thought she should have moved past that by now.
“What is Logan’s problem?”
“Billy is a good enough player that he has a shot at a scholarship. But only if he plays to his potential, which Logan doesn’t think I’m capable of getting out of him.” Sarah stopped there, shaking her head, tamping down her annoyance. “Anyway, he wants me replaced.”
“With who?”
“My sidekick. Ronnie. Or anyone else, apparently.”
“I’m surprised he’s got it in for you this way.”
“I’m not. Carleton’s and Westervelds are like the Riverbend version of the Montagues and Capulets apparently.” Sarah gave Francine a quick smile to ease the tension in her voice. Then eased out a sigh. “There’s something that happened apparently between my dad and his and I’m not sure what it’s all about. I just know my dad borderline hated Logan’s father. For some reason.”
“Was that why you and Logan always had to sneak around?”
“Pretty much.”
Francine was quiet a moment, sipping her coffee, frowning. “I know you two were pretty crazy about each other and, don’t get me wrong, that was eight years ago, but I always wondered why you never stood up to your dad. Never told him exactly what was going on.”
Sarah felt another twist of guilt at her cousin’s gentle reprimand. “I was too cowed by my dad. Always. I think I was always trying to find a way to get in his good graces and stay there. Marilee was the hands on favorite and I was always trying to find a way to get acknowledged.”
“That sounds sad,” Francine said. “I know I was talking to my mom about it awhile back. It was no huge secret in the family that your dad favored Marilee. Neither she nor dad liked it at all. But she figured it had something to do with the fact that Aunt Tilly and Uncle Ted took care of you the first two years of your life.”
“I’m sure that had something to do with it,” Sarah said, looking down at the baby she was holding. “I can imagine he probably felt overwhelmed. Marilee was a year and a half and I was younger than Donavon here.”
“But why just you?”
Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know. He never told me. I don't remember anything of that time. My first memory is of Marilee pulling my hair and our nanny telling her to stop. Then my father getting angry when the nanny reprimanded Marilee.” She gave Francine a vague smile. “Even then she was the favorite. I feel like I’ve spent my whole life trying to catch up, to make up for those two lost years.”
Francine reached over and laid a gentle hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about that. I know Dad and Uncle Ted have tried to reason with him, but Uncle Frank always was a stubborn one.”
“And that’s why I kept me and Logan a secret the whole time we were dating.”
As soon as she spoke the words Sarah wished she could take them back. She certainly didn’t need to bring Logan up again. It was like an itch she couldn’t scratch enough.
Francine seemed to sense something as well. “He’s still single you know.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Yeah. He had been dating some girl from Rockyview for a while but obviously it didn’t take. I know he had another girlfriend he took to church a couple of times, but again, nothing.”
“That’s fine. I don’t need to know his romantic history.”
Francine gave her a mischievous look. “Seems like yours. A few scattered relationships that led to nothing.”
Sarah gave her cousin a warning look but Francine didn’t seem fazed.
“Maybe he’s waiting for the right person to come along. Maybe he’s waiting for his Juliet.”
“And we all know how that turned out,” Sarah said, shifting Donavan in her arms. He fussed a little, pursed his lips then settled down. She looked down at him, ignoring her cousin, struggling with a flicker of envy. At one time she had imagined herself at this age with at least one, maybe two children. She wasn’t quite destined for spinsterhood, but it was hard not to feel like she was being left behind.
“We could go with a different story,” Francine said.
“Or we could change the subject,” Sarah said. “So why don’t you tell me more about Dodie? I’m hoping to visit her too but haven’t been able to connect.”
At that, Francine’s features clouded. “She’s struggling, that’s for sure. She and Gregg were so in love. To be a widow so young…that’s rough.”
“Aunt Tilly tells me she’s gone into full retreat mode.”
“Aunt Tilly is exaggerating. She comes and helps Janie at times, but yeah, she does keep to herself a lot.”
“Janie seems to be doing okay.”
Francine nodded, brightening. “Suzie is getting to be a handful though.”
And from there the conversation slipped from one relative to another. Serious and funny and oh so comfortable.
But all the while they talked, Sarah couldn’t stop wondering about Logan. About the girls he dated. Why none of them, to quote Francine, took.
Billy was playing the worst game of his life. She had to concentrate. Focus.
The blast of the whistle pulled her back into the game, and with a guilty start she glanced at the ref, relieved to see him make a call against the other team.
Her next glance, of its own volition, shot to Logan sitting off to one side, elbows on his knees, chin resting on his clasped hands, alternately watching the game and her.
She couldn’t help but think of that almost moment in church a few days ago. She forced herself to look away, memories and old yearnings crowding over her battered defenses.
Concentrate. Concentrate.
It was Saturday night and the last night of this mini-tournament. And they were behind.
The game proceeded and this time Sarah kept her attention on Billy. She had warned him once, earlier on in the game, to either play smart, and with the team, or be benched.
If Logan hadn’t been here she would have pulled Billy four plays ago.
For a moment frustration washed over her. Indecision and second thoughts. Was she doing the right thing?
Maybe she should quit. Let Alton Berube take over. Maybe he would do a better job.
And then what? Hang around that booming, empty house? Leave Millars Crossing and make it look as if she was the most heartless daughter on the face of the earth?
Bad enough that she hadn’t visited her father since that horrible day. She didn’t want to face him.