His words settled past her confused emotions. “Really?”
“Yeah. The plays he wants us to do are so basic the other teams can anticipate every move we make. Makes it brutal to try and score on them.”
“And this matters to you because…” She couldn’t help add, grabbing onto the very orneriness of Billy to ground her back in reality.
Billy just rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Miss Westerveld. I know I was a jerk, but hey, I want to win, too. Logan kind of made things clear to me and Nelli is cool with me going to college. So yeah, I want to win.” He leaned forward, as if his sheer height and size would intimidate her into agreeing. “Whaddya say? You gonna help him? I know the other guys would like you to come back.”
“Even though I’m only a girl?” Sarah couldn’t resist the gibe.
Billy had the grace to look sheepish. “Yeah, well. You’re still better than Berube.”
“It depends on what the parents say.”
“Newt was plenty ticked at his mom for what she pulled off.” Billy slid Logan a quick glance as if including his brother in this censure.
Oh, the fickleness of youth.
“We’ll see.” She gave Billy a polite smile, then tucked her arm inside his brother’s and gave Logan a proprietary tug. “And now, we have to go.” They didn’t, but she had much to think about and she wanted to have Logan to herself. She wanted to tell him what Alicia had just told him. Wanted to fix what had been broken between them all these years.
Billy’s eyebrows lifted a fraction, then his mouth curved in a smirk. “Well, ain’t that a picture.” And with that eloquent comment, he left to join his teammates.
Logan looked down at her, covering his hand with hers. His eyes smoldered. “So, where is it we have to go?”
“Sarah. There you are.”
She suppressed a groan as her relatives descended on her en masse. She felt suddenly torn. Most of her wanted to be with Logan, to discover where this relationship, if she dared call it that, might be going. Things were still so uncertain between them and she wasn’t sure herself.
And yet, this was her family. The people she loved.
“You coming with us?” Janie touched Sarah’s arm, as if laying a small claim on her. “We’re going to celebrate at Cal’s.”
Sarah glanced at Logan, hoping he would say he would come with them, hoping she wouldn’t have to choose between him and her family.
And yet, circling that thought was another hope that he would want to be alone with her.
“Actually, Logan and I have other plans,” Sarah said, making her choice.
Janie sent Sarah a frown but Sarah just smiled. “Some other time maybe,” she said, letting Logan pull her away from her relatives.
Ten minutes later they were driving down a country road and Sarah had no idea where they were going but only knew that she and Logan were alone again, this time in a place that held no old memories and regrets.
He pulled off the road into a narrow lane, his truck fishtailing in the snow, his headlights stabbing the darkness ahead of them. Snow flew up, sparkling in the headlights and then they came to a stop.
“Aha,” Sarah said, recognizing the place. “The lookout point. I love the view from this place.”
Logan’s face glowed a faint green in the reflected light of the dashboard of his truck. The serious expression on his face made her heart beat just a little faster.
She looked at him again, studying the planes of his face, cast into sharp relief in the half-light. His deep-set eyes glowed and she felt herself falling in love with this man all over again.
He traced a gentle circle with his finger on the backs of her hands, then looked up at her with those deep, secretive eyes. Eyes that had haunted her dreams. Eyes that she had yearned for and hurt for. All because of a mistake.
She wanted to tell him about Marilee, but she waited.
A quiet, insistent voice pushed at the back of her mind as, in spite of the moment, she thought of her father. She had to say it and sooner or later they had to deal with it. Uncle Ted was right. She couldn’t ignore her father forever. In spite of all the things he had done wrong, he was still a part of her life.
In the past few days she had learned some valuable lessons about who and what to put first in her life. Her priorities had shifted and been rearranged.
And she realized that she wanted Logan in her life.
But she also wanted her father.
Logan remained quiet, so she took a chance to move into this new place in her life. With Logan.
“I was wondering if you would come with me. To visit my dad.”
“What about what he said to you? About Marilee?” he asked, continuing to trace a circle on the back of her hand.
“I know what he did was wrong, and he hurt me badly, but we all sin. We all make mistakes that have repercussions. Like I did thinking you were with Marilee, when you weren’t.”
“Sarah, that wasn’t your fault…”
“No, but in a way I was involved. You know what Alicia told me? That Marilee had snuck out to see you so she could convince you that we should be together.” Her mind slipped back to Marilee’s room and the myriad of memories she had pushed into bags and boxes. “I had misjudged her, too. Misjudged you. I’m just as sinful. Just as stubborn. Had just as much unforgiving anger. I could have phoned you, asked you, but I didn’t. I’m sure my dad was hurting, too.”
“And now you’re making excuses for him again?” Logan’s question came out as more of a growl than a query. His anger set her back.
“Logan, please don’t think that I’m falling back into the same patterns. I’ve changed. My dad doesn’t have power over me anymore. But I can’t change the fact that he is still my father. I know what he did to your family was wrong and I’m sure you still have a lot to deal with. But he’s not going away and he is still in my life. That’s why I want you to come with me. I want to start over. And I want to start over right. I want to face him with you at my side.”
“I’m sorry, Sarah. I can’t go with you.” His voice held a note of finality that Sarah sensed was futile to argue with.
“Ever?”
He shrugged. “Someday, maybe, but not yet.” She looked at Logan, trying to put herself in his place, trying to understand. Her father had hurt Logan’s family and even though she might think Logan should forgive her father, the only forgiveness that was hers to grant was hers to her father. Logan had to come to that place on his own.
Now she had to make a decision. But this time, this time she was going to follow her heart, instead of expectations from her father and her family.
“Okay. I understand,” Sarah said, her voice quiet. “He hurt your family badly and that will take some time to get over.”
“Sarah, I need you to understand…”
She held her hand up, forestalling him. “Logan, I do understand. And I know that what he did was wrong. So I want you to know that I’m standing beside you in this.” She took a deep breath and sent up a prayer for wisdom. “I know that my father needs me, but I sense that you need me, too. And until you’re ready to see him, I want you to know that I choose you. I choose you over my father. You are more important to me than he is right now.” She banished all the pleas that her family, her uncles and aunts and cousins with their expectations, would make. She had made up her mind.