Which is progress. I used to want all of it.
“Well, come on in,” his mom said. “Let’s get out of the cold.”
“Cold?” Skylar headed inside. “Calamity’s minus ten right now, so your sixty degrees is downright balmy.”
“Let me take your coat.” His mom held her hands out for Skylar’s parka.
Jinx looked around the condo. With the blinds shut, the condo looked tired and gloomy. Other than a couple of his paintings hanging on the walls, the room had no personal touches. “Hey, Mom, no tree?”
“No.” His mom leaned into the closet to hang up the coat. “It’s just me here. I didn’t want to bother.”
“You used to love Christmas.” He thought of Skylar’s salon, the twinkling lights, the smell of pine and cinnamon. The feeling of home. In contrast, his mom’s place felt stark. Like she was a traveling salesman just passing through.
His heart twisted at his mom’s isolation. He hoped like hell Skylar could help her. She needed friends, hobbies, interests.
His mom turned to face them. “I loved it when you were guys were little. Now, there’s really no point.”
“If you love Christmas and don’t want the bother, you should come to Calamity next year,” Skylar said. “We go all-out. Lights everywhere, a huge tree all lit-up in the town green. The coffee shop rolls out a cart and sells hot cocoa. We’ve got carolers. It’s awesome.”
“That sounds lovely. Maybe I will come.” She jerked her thumb towards Jinx. “Of course, it all depends on whether he’s still around.”
“I’ll be there.”
His mom looked surprised. “You’re staying?”
“I am.”
His mom eyed him thoughtfully. “I’m glad to hear it.” She rubbed her hands on her scrubs. “Well, I just got home and haven’t had a chance to go shopping, but I can make you some sandwiches. Anyone hungry?”
“We just ate, Mom. We’re good.”
“I’ll bring out some drinks.”
“Just water for me, thank you,” Skylar said. “Can I help?”
“No, no. I’ll just be a second.” His mom practically ran into the kitchen.
Troubled, Jinx watched her go. “She doesn’t want us here.”
“She’s used to being alone,” Skylar said. “Visitors mess with her schedule.”
“I’m her son.” Anger cracked in his voice. It surprised him, and he quickly looked away.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you a—”
“No, it’s not you. It pisses me off that she doesn’t want to spend Christmas with me. She chose to work on the twenty-fifth. Told me to come after, if I wanted to visit.” Yeah, if I wanted to visit. Not that she wanted me to come.
He sounded like a whiny little boy, when all he wanted was to get his mom’s mojo back. It just had been a long time since his mom had loved him. When he’d lived at home, she’d taken care of his basic needs, but the days when she’d spent any real time with him…touched him with affection…were long gone.
“It isn’t personal.” Skylar gestured around the bland room. “I think she’s in survival mode. Routine helps her with that.”
She came up close, and his body felt her nearness like a jolt of static electricity. The hairs on his arms stood on end, and a shiver ran down his spine.
“What do you bet she has her frozen dinners stacked according to days of the week, and she’s been waiting to watch her favorite show tonight at eight?” Skylar gave him a reassuring smile. “One thing I can say for sure, I’ve never had a client who didn’t wind up in a better place.”
A moment later, his mom came back with two glasses full of water. She handed one to each of them. “So, if Christmas in Calamity’s so great, what brings you to Vegas?”
He shouldn’t be hurt. He wouldn’t be. Everything Skylar had just said made perfect sense. “I wanted to spend it with you.” Don’t you want to spend it with me?
I’m all you have left.
“That’s sweet. Thank you.” She gestured for them to sit on the couch, the same she’d had his entire life. “So, Skylar, what do you do?” She brought over a dining room chair and sat across from them.
“I’m an image consultant.”
“What’s that, exactly?”
“I know. Weird job, right? Okay, so, for example, when a woman’s graduating college and ready to go on her first set of interviews, she might come to me so we can put together a look. Not just clothes but hair and make-up, too. I have a lot of divorced women looking to reinvent themselves. Some want to start dating but most just want to find out who they are again. Their identities have been lost in their family’s lives.”
“Sounds interesting.” She cut him a look. “You’re not hoping I’ll reinvent myself, are you?”
Yeah, she’d figured it out. “I want you to be happy, Mom. That’s all.”
She turned back to Skylar. “Jackson should’ve checked with me first, before you came all the way out here and missed out on the holidays in your town. I’m not looking to revamp my image. I’m not going to date or change jobs.”
“Mom, it’s not about dating.” I’m sitting on the same couch Zach peed on when we were watching Toy Story. Whatever wave of hope he’d ridden the last twenty-four hours crashed on the shore of reality. Because what Skylar had told him that morning in the diner was true.
His mom wouldn’t change, because she didn’t want to. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Because his family had been irrevocably shattered.
“What is it you want from me, Jackson?”
He was tired of being careful with her. He got up and yanked the pull cord on the blinds. Sunlight streamed in. “I want you to make friends. I want you to date, travel, get out of this condo and have some fun. You’ve worked hard your whole life…I’d like to see you happy.”
“I live in the desert, so the blinds are going to stay closed during the hottest part of the day. And, honestly, Jackson, I’m on my feet and around people all day long, so when I get home all I want to do is eat, read, and sleep. I need the income, so I can support myself into old age. So, there’s not going to be a big social life or travel. I’m sorry my life upsets you, but I’m fine.”
“Why is fine good enough?” And that was it right there. Before he’d met Skylar, he’d been fine, too.
He remembered it so clearly. The minute he’d looked into her eyes he’d felt this pop. It was hard to explain, but it had snapped him wide awake. He could’ve sworn he’d heard a voice in his head that said, That’s her. That’s the one.
From that moment on, fine had not been good enough. “There’s more for you, Mom. There’s better. And you deserve it.” He wasn’t all that great at communicating, but he realized it mattered a whole hell of a lot. “I think...I think Dad stole something from you.”
His mom’s eyes flared with surprise.
“He stole your power. For years, I watched you fight him, demand that he get out of the Army and come home. But he didn’t listen. He didn’t care what you wanted and eventually you gave up.” He sat back down on the edge of the cushion, elbows on his thighs, and looked right into her eyes. “You gave up. I brought Skylar here because I’ve seen her with her clients. I’ve seen her help them get their power back. I’ve seen her client cry because Skylar made her feel so good about herself. I want that for you.”