“I know. You’re right.” He lifted his mug but didn’t drink. “I just…”
“You miss him.”
He set the mug down. “Every minute of every day.”
“I’m sorry.”
He turned his hand over, clasped hers, and the intimacy of it gave her a jolt.
She should probably change the subject. “So, after spending that year with the bikers, what did you do?”
“I guess word spread, because the offers kept coming in from all over, but I had enough projects to keep me busy. At some point, though, it was time to move on. Another club—this one in Florida—had been after me for a while, so I went there. Stayed about eight or nine months, did a lot of bikes. Might have stayed longer, but your brother called me up. Said he got requests every day for custom paint jobs, and that he was tired of saying no.”
“So, you just dropped everything and moved?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Told him I wasn’t interested.”
“Calamity, Wyoming, right? You’d probably never heard of it.”
“Oh, I’d heard of it. But I paint motorcycles. Didn’t really see how moving to a cold mountain town would be the best career move.”
“But it has been? That’s why you’ve stayed?”
His gaze snapped up to hers. For one intense moment, he froze. He looked like he’d been caught stealing money out of her purse.
The waiter leaned over with their plates, slicing through the tension. “Here you go. Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you,” Skylar said. “This looks perfect.”
“I’ll freshen up your coffees.”
They dug into their eggs, eating quietly for a few minutes. Long enough that her thoughts had wandered to Aspen and her son. And fucking Eddie. So help me God if he hurts my son—
“I think you know why I stayed.” Jinx said it quietly, seriously.
A shock traveled down her spine. She didn’t say a word.
“I stayed for you.”
Oh, God. She hated that he’d be so direct, but also…she loved it. Loved that he put it right out there. He had a girlfriend, so it wasn’t like he had an agenda. He just spoke the truth.
You can trust a man like that.
“But…” She swallowed. “I’ve been so mean to you.”
“I wouldn’t say mean. You’ve been short with me, made yourself clear. But it doesn’t matter, because I know a lot of things about you.”
“Like?”
“Like you’re a patient and fierce mom. I know you treat your clients the same way you treat your son—with love and respect and honesty and kindness. I know you’re smart, I know you work your ass off but still stay present for Rocco. I know you’ve got a big, weird, loving family. I know the hurt and pain you live with and how it doesn’t make you ugly and bitter. Other than not being friendly to me, I like every single thing I’ve seen.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Took me a while to get that there was nothing between us.”
“It’s not you.” She was so glad for the opportunity to clear that up. “I’ve just been so…I don’t know. I was going to say busy…focused on building my business and raising my son—which is true. But the thing is…” She set her fork down. “I’m angry. I don’t have feelings for Eddie anymore. It’s not like I want him back. It’s just that it grinds through me. Rocco’s growing up without a dad, and Eddie’s right there. I don’t understand how he lives with himself. I really don’t.”
“Shitty thing to do.”
“And…” Since we’re being honest. “You’re a wanderer. I…” Just say it. “Even if I’d wanted to go out with you, I just felt like you were going to pick up and leave any minute. Move on to the next gig. I can’t get involved with a man like that. It would destroy Rocco.”
“That’s fair. I haven’t settled anywhere since I left home. But I think it’s less about committing to a place or a job and more because I can’t stand that I lost my brother. I can’t seem to make peace with it.”
“So much for time healing all wounds.”
“It’s more like…it’ll hit me out of the blue. Zach’s gone. Someone will be talking about their plans for Christmas, and I’ll immediately think of home. I’ll get an image in my head, my mom, Zach…and then it just fucking guts me when I remember he’s gone, and I’ll never have that again.”
“God, Jinx.” She slid out of her booth and walked around to his side, getting in beside him. Girlfriend or not, this man needed a hug. Wrapping her arms around him, she felt the breadth of his shoulders, the hardness of his powerful frame, and the heat from his body.
He kept his arms down, but his head tilted, his chin resting on top of her head.
She just held him—so sorry for his loss and not knowing what could ever heal him. Where her arm pressed across his chest, she could feel the rapid beat of his heart.
It struck her—he needs to make new holiday memories. That’s what will heal him. He needs to stop wandering, fall in love, and have children, surround himself with love and the chaos of family.
And the moment she saw herself and Rocco in that portrait, she pulled away. She’d missed any chance of a relationship with this man, so it was stupid to fantasize about it. Settling back in her seat, she finished off her coffee. “Do you think Lori’s your person?”
He jerked so hard he practically dropped the knife he was using to spread jelly on his toast.
Why did you say that? “Sorry. That came out of nowhere.”
“No, it’s…” He set the knife down. “It’s new, me and Lori. It’s only been two months.”
“I get the feeling she’s all-in.”
He cracked a grin. “She’s…enthusiastic.”
“She’s got big plans for you.”
“She does.”
“I didn’t know you had those dreams.” Why would I? I’ve never given him the time of day.
“I don’t.”
“Okay, I’m confused. You don’t want to sell your paintings in galleries?”
“Not really. I like painting bikes. Mostly, I like the response I get. A guy comes to pick up his bike, and he breaks out in this big smile. Sometimes, he’ll tear up. It hits him hard, that he gets to keep this person or this accomplishment—whatever it is he wanted painted on his bike—close, and I like that.” He let out a slow breath. “Like today. That was…I wouldn’t want to give that up, you know? I can’t see doing anything more worthwhile with my life than that.”
Happiness went bubbly under her skin. She just liked him so much. “So, you’re not moving to New York?”
“No. I have no interest in living in a city that size.”
She smiled. “I don’t think Lori got the memo.”
“Honestly, we’ve never talked about it. This morning was the first I’ve heard of her plans.”
“She works there, though, right? I guess her time’s running out. She’s got to get back to her family’s gallery.”