I reached the finish first and slowed down to a walk, taking a large gulp of air and trying to slow my heart rate.
“Ugh. I swear you get faster each week.” Charlotte panted, stretching her legs.
“No…I don’t. You’re just getting slower. Must be married life,” I teased. “Will’s making you soft. Or slow. Not sure, really.” I laughed in between heavy breaths.
“Haha. You’re hilarious.” Charlotte shook her sports top, forcing air under her shirt to cool down. It was still early morning, but the temperature was nearing the eighties already.
I checked my app on my watch and noticed we’d run a new record on our usual five-mile route.
“Huh,” I said. “You’re right. We cut fifty seconds off our regular time. We did good.”
“No.” Charlotte was still dripping sweat on the trail and fanning herself like crazy. “You were running like the wind was chasing you. What was up with you today?”
“Just a little pumped up, I guess.” I shrugged, swinging my arms and stretching my shoulders.
“Are you sure? You seemed a bit distracted when you arrived earlier. I think.” Charlotte paused, holding out her index finger and taking a big gulp of her water bottle. “I think you were running like crazy so you wouldn’t have to carry on a conversation.” She raised her brow, staring at me with that typical, penetrating gaze.
“What would I not want to talk about?”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but on Monday you came into work to change your shifts to take care of Ben. As far as I could tell from the few details I was able to finagle out of you at work, this week with Ben was great. You were going to talk to Adrian about spending more time with Ben. And now, you’re not talking, running like a machine. I’m guessing those plans didn’t pan out?”
“You know, I hate how well you know me. It’s completely frustrating.”
“Spill.” Charlotte took another pull of her water bottle.
I opened up my own bottle, took a large sip, and sat down, knowing we would be here for a little longer.
“This week was wonderful. Ben is an amazing kid.” My lips curved into a smile. “We did homework each day, cooked. He’s really talented. And he makes a mean chili.”
Charlotte nodded, urging me to get to the heart of the matter.
“Last night we cooked again, like each night Ben was with me. Adrian came over to pick him up and I invited him to stay, just like every night. But something seemed different. I’m not really sure what it was, but Adrian was acting weird. He came up to me, and he touched me.”
“He did what?” Charlotte choked on her water and sprang up, coughing, trying to push air back into her lungs.
I patted her on the back, waiting for her to regain her regular breathing. “He didn’t touch me like that. Seriously, Charlotte. Get your head out of the gutter. He reached out and ran his fingers over my cheek and along my chin. It was nothing, really.”
“Doesn’t sound like nothing to me.” Charlotte waggled her brows and tried for a suggestive tone, but with her voice still hoarse from her earlier coughing fit, it fell a little flat.
“Need I remind you this is my sister’s ex we’re talking about? I’m sure I had some hamburger or something stuck to my face. He was probably embarrassed I looked like an idiot and wanted to help me out.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that was it.” Charlotte rolled her eyes. “I bet it had nothing to do with you being a foxy babe and him not being able to keep his hands off of you.”
“Come on, Charlotte. It’s not like that with Adrian.”
“What is it like with Adrian, then?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I’d asked myself this question a few times during the week. “He’s a great dad. Ben is a testimony to that fact. It’s been nice having them both around. And when Adrian looks at me, or when we accidently touch, there’s this connection. It’s almost scary.”
“Ooohhh,” Charlotte teased.
“I’m serious, Char. This is Zo’s ex-boyfriend. Ben’s dad. I shouldn’t be feeling any kind of connection to him.”
“Maybe it’s because he’s Zoë’s ex and Ben’s dad that you’re feeling a connection. Maybe it isn’t anything romantic at all.”
Her words were the perfect dismissal. I could agree with her and brush it off. No more overthinking this, no more endless analyzing and lying awake at night reliving his touch; it had felt like his hand had reached inside and touched my soul. Like he saw right through me. Of course, Adrian knew me before I became a video sensation. He didn’t have this misconception of me. I was still Zoë’s baby sister to him, not a person people thought they knew, even though they had no idea who I really was.
“Yeah, you’re right.” But the moment I spoke the words, my entire body protested. The spark I felt when Adrian’s gaze penetrated mine singed me to the very core. It wasn’t some kind of familial connection.
And that scared me. I’d given up on love. On any kind of relationship. My heart wasn’t able to handle the disappointment I knew it held. And Adrian, he wasn’t exactly available to me. He wasn’t mine to want.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I repeated a second time, needing to remind myself to steer clear.
“If I’m so right, I wonder why you need to tell me twice.” Charlotte raised her right brow, tilting her head to the side.
I measured out my dry ingredients in individual bowls and got them situated on the countertop, ready for tomorrow. Ed was coming in the morning to record this week’s episode. I’d made a batch of the macarons I was featuring in this week’s video already this afternoon, so we could get the videoing done in one take. That was the great thing about recipes like these. I could prep enough ahead of time, and we could get the filming done in one sitting. Some recipes required more prep work that needed filming, so Ed would be here more than one day a week.
As I snatched one of the odd-looking biscuits I hadn’t iced to make a macaron and popped it in my mouth, my phone rang. It was Adrian. With how we left things yesterday, I needed to pick up. That didn’t mean I was looking forward to this conversation. He was probably calling to tell me Ben was staying with the sitter full time.
I tapped the green circle and squeaked a hi into the phone, my stomach a bunch of nervous knots.
“Hi, Shelley. It’s Adrian.”
“Hi,” I replied, and hit myself on the head. It was bad enough my voice squeaked the first time; now I was repeating myself. What was it about Adrian that brought out the idiot in me?
He chuckled, sounding as nervous as I felt.
“I called to talk to you about yesterday.”
“Okay.” I dragged each letter, unease tightening in my stomach.
“I talked to Ben, and I gave it some thought.” Adrian paused.
“You’re killing me here, Adrian. Spit it out already, will you?”
He laughed into the phone, and the warm, rich tone of his voice made the knots in my stomach tighten for completely different reasons this time. This phone conversation was wearing me out, and it had only just begun.
“Ben and I think it would be a good thing if he could spend a couple of days a week with you after school. We were thinking of Wednesdays and Fridays. Do you think that would work for you?”