Chapter One
Fire paints the sky overhead. It’s a sight, for sure. One you’d see on television blanketing kids as they run through the sprinkler. Roaring belly laughs and screeching howls as the cold water hits their sunburnt skin. A couple holding hands reminiscing and finally finding a chance to catch a breath after a long day.
My skin is hot, but it’s not credited to a kiss from the sun. It’s the thirty-pound rucksack on my back, the thick camouflage armor meant to mask me from the enemy, and the M4 Carbine tucked underneath my right arm. Howls can be heard, but they are not preceding laughter. Instead, they follow the muffled pop pop that echoes through the small desert town.
“Get down, now!” I shout. My voice carries through my own ears but barely makes a wave through the muffled cries and shouts of panic.
A mother runs by in a rag dress, holding tightly on to her baby, who is balled up in a cloth and pressed firmly to her chest. My stare holds tight to them as an ache burrows into the pit of my stomach. When she rounds the corner, I only pray that she is safe, but what is safe in this dead zone?
My eyes dance around with my fingers shadowing the trigger—searching, hoping, trying like hell to see where the hits are coming from. Catching my men who are still standing, I see them do the same. Matthews looks me in the eye and it’s like he knows what’s coming before either of us knows a damn thing. In slow motion his head turns, looking up. Following the beam of his gaze, we find him. “No!” I scream at the top of my lungs as I flee across the street, my combat boots swinging up dust behind me. Setting my eyes on my scope while my feet continue to move, I bend my finger. Again. Again. “Down!” I shove hard into Matthews, his body hitting the dry sand as I collapse onto him without even giving it a second thought. Still firing shots at the sniper, I’m unaware if I’m even landing, but I don’t give up—not yet.
When the cries smelter and the dust settles, I take in a deep breath of relief. My tense body drops aimlessly as I’m still cloaking Matthews.
“You fucking saved my life,” he bellows beneath me, his arms wrapping around me and squeezing tight. “I still hate your dumb ass, but I hate you a little less now.”
“Screw off.” I swat at him. Semi-joking, semi-hoping I least make him feel a shred of pain. Five minutes ago was the first time that Matthews and I have ever seen eye to eye.
Once my heart rate returns to a somewhat normal rate, I roll off him with my back pressed against the pavement. I catch Rivers stalking towards us. “Get the fuck up. Back to the command post.” He grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. When the dust begins to stir again, I know this isn’t over. I look down at Matthews and contemplate letting the shithead get up himself, but my conscious gets the best of me and I extend a helping hand.
Sirens circulate the air between the stacked buildings. “Incoming. Incoming,” rings through the speakers. All eyes shoot to the sky when the beam spreads across, starting as a firefly and igniting into a display that resembles a bolt of lightning.
“Fucking A,” I mutter under my breath. “Go!” I scream at the top of my lungs as I shove the guys forward and we all make a beeline for the command post.
A feeling of emptiness awakens when it dawns on me that we are one man short. “Jones. Where the fuck is Jones?” I look back and see him there—helpless, motionless, lifeless.
Slamming my footlocker shut, I plop down on the one-inch cot. The events of the day are on full replay in my mind. They thanked me for shielding Matthews. They called me a hero for gunning down the sniper. They forgot to mention that I left Jones behind. I didn’t even know he was out there. He died when I could have protected him. Someone should have fucking had his back. Shutting out the harrowing memories, I open up my phone. It’s too late back in Sunnyville to call Gemma and let her know that the tower has been down. I know she’s probably been a mess wondering why I haven’t been in touch. Then again, this isn’t the first time we’ve lost contact for a lengthy time. At least this was only five days, versus the eleven days service was interrupted last month.
July 18
My love,
The days are getting longer, the nights shorter. Each moment that you are gone, my heart continues to tear apart further and further. I haven’t left the house in weeks, aside from going to see Dr. Harris. She says that it's okay. Baby steps. If only I could muster the courage to even stand on my own two feet, let alone take a step in the right direction.
When you said it would be hard, I didn’t realize how hard it would truly be. Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets. Marrying you was the best decision I have ever made. I long to feel your arms wrapped around me. Your kisses on my cheek. Until then, I dream about you. Your big brown eyes, your sandy-blond hair, and the way you bite the corner of your lip when I walk into a room.
I miss you so much, Nash.
I miss us.
Stay safe.
Until tomorrow,
Gemma xoxo
Hugging my phone to my chest, my heart swells. Gemma knew who I was and what I did when we said our vows. When I proposed, I told her, “It’s going to be really fucking hard, but we’ve got this, babe.” From the moment I first laid eyes on her at Blue Skies, I knew she was the one for me. I boarded the plane, sat in my seat, and watched her step on. Her jet-black hair scattered across her face from the gust of wind that hit her directly before getting on. She was pushing the mess away and pulling stray strands from her mouth when she caught me staring. A smile spread across my face and I let out a chuckle as her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. It was her first day on the job and she didn’t know me from Adam. Not a clue that I was a regular and that most days I’d go dive just because I liked the rush. I let her give me the pep talk she was hired to give, strap on my pack like I had no fucking clue what I was doing. All the while, watching her every move because she was the most ungraceful little thing I’d ever laid eyes on. At one point, I was worried she’d fall out with me. Her quirkiness is one of the many things I love about her. My mind hasn’t stopped thinking about her since that day. When my eyes are open, I see her. When my lids are shut, I dream of her. It’s like our hearts were meant to connect to beat life back into them. With her history of depression, I knew it was going to be a struggle to leave her so soon after the wedding.
I open the next email.
July 19
My love,
I went and got groceries today. You’d be so proud. I even put on makeup and wore that baby blue sundress that you love.
Just the thought of her in that dress has my cock throbbing. What I wouldn’t do to lift it up over her waist and take her from behind. Fuck, I miss her and her ass so damn much.
I’ve even thought about signing back up for that pottery class I skipped out on a couple of weeks ago. Dr. Harris seems to think I’m making progress, but I’m not so sure. I was daydreaming yesterday on the porch swing and I decided on names. Willow for a girl, and Parker for a boy. What do you think? You’ll probably hate them, just like all of the other names. I’m starting to doubt babies are even in my future.
Stay safe.
Until tomorrow,
Gemma xoxo