Don’t slip up and don’t get any ideas about what this might be.
“I’ve never seen stars like this before.” Berk stopped beside me and stared straight up.
“Less light pollution out here.”
“Sometimes I forget to look up.”
“You don’t see them much in the city. Even on the best days only the brightest stars can shine, but out here even the little pipsqueaks get a chance. We can stay out here, if you want.” I flicked my thumb nails together and kept my head down. It was like my chin had a magnet attached straight to my chest. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” I couldn’t breathe. Her words still rang in my ear, erasing so much of the progress I’d made. I wrapped my arms tightly around my waist, wanting to sink into the floor.
“What happened? One second you were there and the next you were gone.”
And now he thought I was crazy.
“It’s nothing.” Was I overreacting? He’d been less than a foot from me and he couldn’t see anything wrong with what she’d said.
“You’re upset. Like before. Tell me what happened.” The earnest concern in his eyes made me feel even worse. We’d been having a great time and then I went and lost it again because of my mom. You’d think after so many years I’d have a healthy callous built up to her words, but every time she spoke to me it was like someone poking at a throbbing wound only barely starting its healing journey.
I held his gaze.
His eyebrows were furrowed, and he looked ready to take on whatever had upset me. If I hadn’t already been falling for him, I was a half-step away. No one had ever looked at me like that before.
“It’s nothing you can help with.”
“Maybe I can.”
His thumb made tiny brushes against the side of my face and I tried to breathe. Keep breathing, Jules.
He leaned in closer and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. His bow tie and tux fit him like they’d gotten his measurements ahead of time. That was what happened when you worked out so much tailors made their clothes to fit someone like you. Someone with a perfect body.
The tendrils of desire fought against the drum of fear trying to overtake my stomach. He was here with me. Not that he had much of a choice since he was pretty much stranded out here, and if it came down to hanging with me outside versus staying inside with my family and their friends, I got it.
But his face did seem to be getting closer to mine… or was I the one leaning in? Were we both leaning in?
“Jules…” He lifted his hand and placed it right at the side of my neck. The rough pads of his fingers caressed the hairs at the nape.
“Yeah, Berk.” I wanted to shoot up on my tippy toes and finally know what his lips felt like on mine. The same ones I’d dreamed about and he’d written about using to taste every inch of me.
He ducked his head, totally Berk incoming in three.
Two.
One.
A ground shaking thunder crack made us both jump, and it was as if someone had dumped a football celebration-sized cooler over our heads. Water came down so hard and fast it stung my skin. Tiny pelting drops alternated with fat ones that had me soaked in seconds.
Mascara ran into my eyes and I was blinded. Berk’s strong hand gripped mine and he pulled me along. With his other arm, he used his suit jacket as a shield. Where were we going? I had no idea because I couldn’t see anything. A mix of gritty sand and pebbles dug into my bare feet and I hobbled after Berk trying to shield my eyes.
He pushed open a door and we rushed inside the darkened space. Standing there, panting, we both looked out at the torrential downpour that blotted out everything else beyond the door and hammered against the windows like it was trying to get inside.
“It’s a greenhouse.” He looked around the space.
The mixture of earthy and floral scents filled the glass structure.
“I got in so much trouble one summer for deciding I wanted to make flower crowns for everyone. And of course I knew the greenhouse had the best flowers, not the ones out in the fields nearby.”
“Big trouble?”
“The biggest.” I ran my fingers across the brightly colored petals of the flowers. “They made me replant a new pot for every one I’d decimated. It took me an entire day.”
“Not the worst punishment in the world.”
I laughed. “No, it wasn’t.”
“Why’d they care so much?”
“They use the flowers for a lot of the events they have. Cheaper than calling in a florist each time, but sometimes, specialty flowers are needed.”
“Like for tonight?”
“Oh yeah. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d had them flown in from New York or Fiji or something. If there’s ever a chance to one-up someone, my mom will grab onto that chance with both hands and never let go.”
“Must have been hard growing up like that.”
Here I was complaining about my sister and Berk’s situation was way more complicated. I shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad.” The hours I’d stayed locked alone in my bathroom crying on the floor were trivial in comparison to what other people had been through.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Minimize what you went through because of what I told you about me.”
My cheeks burned. “I’m not—”
He tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow.
I pinched my lips together. “Are you inside my head or something?”
“No, but I see the way you always want to take care of the people around you, even if it’s at your expense.”
“I don—”
He cut me off again at the pass. “Don’t ever let anyone else make you feel like you’re not awesome.” He swung his jacket and settled it around me. The weight of the damp fabric settled around my shoulders. I tugged the front of it closed. Even for me it was roomy and dwarfed me. It wasn’t like I didn’t know Berk was a huge guy. He handled other football players out on the field with no problem, but standing beside him in his jacket, staring up into his eyes lit only by the streaking lightning across the sky, I felt small.
The buttons from his wet shirt brushed against my fingers holding the jacket closed. I curled my toes against the warm tile floor.
Rain hammered on the glass panes all around us like our own soundtrack to go along with my heartbeat, racing not only from the sprint but from the proximity to him.
“Thank you for inviting me.” His words were a low rumble accompanied by the thunder.
My throat tightened and I licked my lips. It was like we were under the laziest strobe light known to man. But with each second of full light his lips seemed to be getting closer.
I’d been working on that. Accepting a thank you without the need to minimize whatever it was. Just say ‘you’re welcome’, Jules. “You’re welcome.”
“I’m kicking myself for giving you my jacket now.” His gaze darted down the dark gap between my body and his jacket. “In case I didn’t tell you already. That dress looks killer on you.”
“Thank you.” Our lips were a hairsbreadth away. My body tingled in anticipation of everything he was ready to serve up.
All those nights I read and reread his words. The way my fingers tingled when I slipped another note into his mailbox and grabbed one of his. But this wasn’t pen and paper anymore. This was everything we’d written about in our letters. All the promises he made and the months of fantasy-making. I’d figured that was where they’d always live, but miracle of miracles, he was here with me now—leaning in closer for a kiss. He was here with me. He wanted me.