Since Tammy killed herself and my unborn baby, I’ve been a fucked-up mess. When it first happened, I did nothing but sit in my apartment and drink myself into oblivion. I didn't shower for weeks because I refused to go into that bathroom.
After a few months of agony, my mom kicked my ass into gear. I went back to work for my uncle’s construction company and made everyone believe I was healing. What they didn’t know was that as soon as I got home, I would drink shot after shot of Jack until I passed out. Then I would do the same thing the following day. This went on for about a year and a half. I got really good at pretending.
Then Mom stopped by unexpectedly one evening after I had passed out. That was the final straw. She made me sober up, and I decided to move up to Wisconsin from Chicago to be by my brother, Brandon. He moved to the Milwaukee suburbs a few years ago and got a job as a police officer, like our dad was.
I was fine all day. I even forgot what day it was until right before I picked Pierce up for Meara’s graduation party.
Seeing all of the eighteen-year-old kids so happy brought back the memories of what I was like a few years ago. I had so much damn hope and excitement for my future.
I had grabbed a bottle of Jack out of the cooler and walked around until I drank the entire thing. I remember looking over at Char and watching her profile. She was looking at the water with such a sense of peace. I envied her. She looked like a fucking angel — wavy blond hair halfway down her back, the reflection of the moon glowing around her like she literally fell from Heaven.
I lean toward her and grab the back of her head. My only thought is to get my hands and mouth on this girl. At the last possible second, I decide to slow down so I don’t scare her, and brush my lips against hers. Barely there, but every nerve in my body comes to life for the first time in years. She’s hesitant at first, but once I swipe my tongue across the seam of her lips, she presses harder and grips my biceps. My dick gets hard, and before I do something to push her too fast, I pull back and answer her question.
“Backdraft.”
“Hmm?” She hums, eyes wide open, cheeks flushed, and damn if that isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“My favorite movie. It’s Backdraft.” I smile at her and let go of her head. I go to the kitchen with the excuse of getting a couple of bottles of water. Really, I need a minute to tame my dick. I adjust my shorts and sit back down next to her. Handing her the open bottle, I ask the same question.
“Favorite movie?”
“Nope. Not answering that.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’ll laugh at me.” She shakes her head, and her hair falls from the messy knot she has it in. I’ve never seen anyone look so effortlessly beautiful. The ice surrounding me starts to melt from being near her warmth.
“I’d never laugh at you, sweetheart.”
“Dirty Dancing,” she says shyly.
“Favorite food?” I ask, not sure why she’s so embarrassed.
“Chinese. You?”
“Breakfast food.”
“Well, you certainly can make a kickass breakfast. Favorite color?”
“Black.” I raise my eyebrows waiting for her reply.
“White. Truck or car?”
“Fast car. Favorite kind of music?”
Her forehead creases when she thinks of an answer. “That’s too hard to answer. It depends on my mood. You?”
“Rock, metal. I can’t stand pop music.”
There’s a moment of silence before she breaks it. “Dream job?”
“Firefighter. You?”
“I don’t know yet. Biggest fear?”
“Losing someone I love,” I answer before I think. “What’s your biggest fear?”
“Well, now my answer is going to sound so trivial. It’s spiders.”
I laugh and rub my chin, thinking of a question. When one pops into my mind, I snap my fingers. “Most embarrassing moment?”
“Ugh. You had to go there, didn’t you? It’s so cliché, but I walked around a restaurant with toilet paper hanging off my shoe. My family saw it but didn’t say anything the entire meal. I was so embarrassed when I finally realized it. Then, when I bent down to take it off, I fell and hit my head on the table. Half of our drinks spilled and the whole restaurant saw. It was mortifying. You?”
Her laughter is almost as hot as seeing her turned on. “I don’t get embarrassed. No, I take that back. My behavior last night was embarrassing.”
She waves her hand in front of her face and makes a ‘pshh’ sound. She looks at the clock with wide eyes and stands. “I’ve gotta go. Do you need me to take you to your car?”
As much as I want to spend more time with her, I know I need to let her go. “Nah. I’ll call Pierce and have him take me.”
“That reminds me. How do you know him?”
“From the gym. He’s also friends with my brother, Brandon. Since I moved here, I’ve pretty much picked up contracting jobs and go to the gym. I’ve gone out with Brandon and Pierce a few times, but mainly I know him from the gym. Besides, I don’t think he’d be too fond of us hanging out.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” She bites her lip and rocks on her heels a couple of times. “We probably shouldn’t tell him; he’s a little overprotective.”
He seriously would kick my ass. I can hold my own, but Pierce trains in all types of martial arts. You don’t want to fuck with him. Besides, I didn’t do anything wrong. It was only a kiss. A ‘thank-you’. He doesn’t know that looking at his cousin makes my dick hard. I decide to agree with her.
“Yeah. I’ll blow him off when he asks.”
I can’t take my eyes off her, and she’s looking around the room, at everything but me. Shy. Fucking adorable. After last night, I’d never believe she has a shy bone in her body, but she said she wasn’t normally like that.
There’s a moment of awkward silence before she clears her throat and finally looks at me. “Well, I guess I’ll see ya around. I’m only here for another month and a half before we go back to Texas.” She looks away from me for a second, then turns and grabs her keys off the counter.
Fuck it. I should let her go, but I can’t without knowing when I’ll see her again. I need to see her again. Pierce invited me to his parents’ cookout next weekend. “You going to the barbecue Saturday?”
“Definitely.” Her cheeks turn pink. “Are you?”
“I am now.”
She tries not to smile, and I grab her hand. “I’ll walk you out.”
Once we reach her car, I gently grip her face in my hands and lean down to rest my forehead on hers. “Thank you,” I say, before kissing her cheek. I drop my hands and start to step back, but she grabs my shirt. Her hands shake as she stands on her toes and presses her lips to mine. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer the same time she wraps hers around my neck.
She’s tentative at first — soft, sweet kisses that drive me crazy and make me want more, make me want every fucking thing. I run my hands down to her perfectly round ass and press her into me a little harder. She gasps, and I take the opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth. Just like her lips, she’s soft and sweet, fucking delicious. She lets out the sexiest moan, and I know it’s time to pull away. Not because I want to, but because every fiber of my being wants inside this girl, and I know I can’t, at least not yet.