I chuckle and walk past him, toward Dylan’s office. The door is ajar, and I hear him conversing. I recognize Susan’s voice, but I hesitate, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. Then I catch a few words and my ears prick up.
“…maybe she hopes you might change your mind,” Susan states.
“I have rules, Susan. It doesn’t matter how much I like the woman. Rules are rules, and she knew them going in. I have no plan to change my mind.”
I freeze, my blood turning cold in my veins. It’s a coincidence. He isn’t talking about me.
“Will Poppy’s family be coming to Yuletide for the holiday?”
Oh, wonderful. They are talking about me.
“She doesn’t have any family.”
“That’s so sad. She’s such a lovely woman. So…spill it, Dylan. Any chance of you expanding the West clan?”
Dylan’s chuckle carries out to the hallway, but this time it fails to warm me. I hover like a sick voyeur, awaiting his response. But it never comes.
Susan, for her part, is all too happy to keep pressing matters. “I thought you didn’t want any more children. At least that’s what you always said.”
And then, finally, Dylan speaks. “I didn’t, but Poppy wants a child. She has no one, and she’s a wonderful woman. She deserves a child and a chance at a family. And I—”
But I never hear the rest of his sentence as Marissa comes barreling past me, flinging open the door to Dylan’s office. “Daddy!”
“Hey, Cupcake. What are you doing here?” Dylan is on his feet, scooping Marissa into his arms and offering me a surprised look. “This is a pleasant surprise.”
I swallow against the lump in my throat, wishing I had a moment to collect myself. My entire body trembles from the weight of Dylan’s words. He has rules. He won’t change them. He doesn’t want more children. He’s only considering them because he pities my situation.
Dylan’s eyes narrow in concern. “You okay?”
I nod, forcing a smile. “Absolutely. Just a million things running through my brain for the festival.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t suppose you know where I might find some reindeer round these parts?” I ask, mimicking a southern drawl.
Dylan chuckles, shaking his head. “Not off the top of my head.”
“It really will be easier finding Bigfoot.”
“Sasquatch.”
“What?”
“We call it Sasquatch here, and you’re right. There’s a high probability in these hills.”
I shrug, throwing up my hands in resignation.
“Daddy, Poppy is taking me and Grandma on a Yule hike,” Marissa states, earning another quizzical look from Dylan.
Wonderful. He’s definitely going to think I’m making myself too comfortable. “That’s what we came to ask you. I’m headed to the woods near the cabin to collect some boughs and rocks. I was wondering if I might take Marissa with me.”
“Of course. She can go anywhere with you, Poppy. I trust you.”
I nod, smiling as his daughter winds her arms around my waist. “I’ll take good care of her. I’ll have them both back before dinner.” Grasping Marissa’s hand, I turn and start toward the door.
“Hold on a second.”
I turn as Dylan closes the distance between us, pressing a kiss to my lips and turning my knees to jello. “Be careful and I’ll see all three of you for dinner.”
I nod at his kind words, but my mind is replaying his earlier statements on a loop. The words he doesn’t know I heard. The words that tell me how he really feels about a future together.
The words that remind me to keep my heart on the shelf. Under lock and key.
“I like it here. There are probably lions and tigers—”
“And bears, oh my?” I tweak Marissa’s nose, as the three of us make our way toward the creek. “I want you to stay up here, okay? Don’t get close to the water.”
“But you’re going close to the water,” Marissa protests.
“Not that close, because it’s dangerous. Promise me you’ll stay up here?”
Marissa’s bottom lip juts out, but she nods her head in agreement.
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on her,” Estelle reassures me as I begin my trek to the water’s edge. The snow is even deeper here, and I’m grateful Dylan convinced me to buy the snowsuit. It’s not a fashion statement in Montana. It’s a necessity. But I saw some gorgeous river rocks in the creek bed and with my new waterproof boots, wading in should be cake.
I glance over my shoulder every couple of minutes, ensuring that Estelle and Marissa are safe on the hillside. Marissa seems to be busy constructing another snow castle. Like I said, the girl is forging an empire.
I chuckle, returning to my task as I try to shake the feeling left by Dylan’s admission. In a way, I’m glad that I heard him. Now, I know his genuine feelings. Oh, he’ll give me a child, but not because he wants one. He’ll do it because he thinks I deserve one.
I’m not sure whether to be touched that he cares that much or broken by the fact that he doesn’t care enough. Then there’s his reiteration about his rules. Hey, he never denied having them. He only made me believe I was the exception to those rules.
Maybe I made myself believe that, hearing what I wanted to hear.
I throw a glance over my shoulder, but Estelle and Marissa aren’t on the hillside. The snow castle is abandoned. Then, I hear Marissa’s scream and my heart seizes in my chest.
Tossing down my collection of sticks and stones, I sprint through the snow as fast as humanly possible. When I turn the corner, my worst fear is recognized. Marissa and Estelle are in the water, struggling against the current. The storm has increased the flow of the water, and I know Marissa can’t touch bottom.
I unzip my jacket, tossing it to the ground before jumping into the water. A million shards of glass cut into me as the cold seeps into every pore, and I find breathing damn near impossible. Thankfully, I’m upstream, so the current swiftly carries me in their direction.
Grasping a tree root, I stop myself, grabbing Marissa by the hood of her coat. “Grab onto me, Marissa,” I order, as my fingers threaten to lose their grasp.
Marissa’s entire body shakes with cold, but she does as I say, wrapping her arms around my neck. With strength I didn’t know I possess, I push against the current, heaving her tiny body onto the shoreline. “Get my coat on,” I cry, my voice hoarse from the cold as I turn to help Estelle.
“My foot…my foot is caught,” Estelle mumbles, her teeth chattering.
I nod, before gulping in a lungful of oxygen and diving under the water. If the pain was bad before, it’s unbearable now. I struggle to free her foot, fighting against the root tangled around her leg.
It’s not working. My mind goes into overdrive as my body threatens to collapse. I pull at her boot strings, somehow loosening them enough to free her from the watery prison.
As I surface, Estelle collapses against me, and I worry for a moment that I won’t get us back to the shore in time. I struggle to push her to dry land, my boot slipping against some ice and ducking my body back into the frigid water.