“He’s not gonna stop us.” I interrupt her. Might as well give her peace of mind when it comes to that bastard. All of Lilly’s stuff is already packed and in the U-Haul as well.
She seems pacified with that answer and nods once. I help her into bed and then lie down beside her. Pulling her to me, I inhale her scent again. Fuck, I’ve missed her so much.
“What about Shane?” she asks softly.
“Someone else you don’t need to worry about.”
“But he has to know what you guys did?” She draws little circles on my bare chest. Her fingers softly touching me. “Have you seen him?”
“No,” I lie.
I don’t want to worry her because the truth is I don’t know what to do about Shane just yet.
She believes me, and asks, “What’s wrong with Deke?”
I hold in a sigh. Her mind is filled with so many questions, and I hate how much she sees. How much she worries. “If I had to guess, I would say he’s upset over Becky breaking up with him.” But I’m not sure that’s what it is. He’s more pissed than upset.
“They broke up?” Her fingers pause on my skin.
Guess Becky hasn’t spoken much to her about her personal life lately. “Yes.”
She buries her face into my chest and sighs heavily. I tighten my arms around her, and she flinches. “I’m sorry.” I immediately loosen my hold.
“They’ll figure it out.” She ignores my apology.
“Maybe.” I’m not so sure, though. If Deke knew what I knew, he’d be so pissed at her. And me.
“You told me that he loves her.” She yawns.
“I did.” I run my hand over her soft hair. “He does.” I’m not sure now.
“Then they will figure out a way to make it work.”
I pull away from her enough to look down at her face. Her eyes are closed and her lips slightly parted. When I run my knuckles down her cheek, she opens her eyes and looks up at me. “Are you okay?” she asks.
I don’t answer her. I’m not sure how. Saying yes would be another lie, and answering no would worry her. I already had problems sleeping before she came into my life, but now it’s pretty much nonexistent. I’ve been running on fumes for too long.
She sighs. “I can tell something is bothering you. Please tell me.”
This time, I decide to lie again. What’s one more? “Nothing is bothering me.”
“Cole”—she pulls away and slowly sits up— “I want you to talk to me.”
I sit up too. She has the sheet pulled up to her chin, shielding her body, and I wonder why she chooses now to hide from me. But I don’t pull it away. I cup her cheek, unable to keep my hands to myself. Not like I ever have since I met her.
“Cole, please …? Whatever it is. We will get through it together.”
She thinks I’m hiding more from her. I am, of course, but it’s all to protect her.
“Did you …?”
“I love you.” It’s the only words I can think to say to her.
The only thing that I know with a hundred percent certainty at this very moment. I’ve known it for a while now. Everything else is out of my control. I don’t know if Shane will come for me. I don’t know if my father will one day want Lilly. And I don’t know if Austin will one day wake up and realize I’m not good enough for her and leave me.
Her lips part, and her eyes widen.
“I love you, Austin Lowes. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.” Those beautiful green eyes begin to well with tears. God, she’s so gorgeous. “You’ve changed me, sweetheart. And I’m gonna do everything in my power to protect you and take care of you.”
My hand slides into her soft hair, and she closes her eyes, sucking in a shaky breath. When they open, the first tear rolls down her cheek. Then the second tear falls. And the third as we sit in silence. My heart pounds in my chest, waiting for her to say something to me. Anything. Even if it’s that she hates me. I can work on that. I can show her how much I love her …
She licks her wet lips and whispers. “I love you, Cole.”
I never thought words could mean so much—all I’ve ever known were hate and rage—but this woman brings a whole new meaning to my life. And that feeling is stronger than anything else I’ve ever felt. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and kiss her softly with just our lips touching, but when she tries to deepen it, I pull away. “We can’t.” I hate saying those words to her. I never want to turn her down or make her feel unwanted.
“I want you,” she whispers, her watery eyes running over my chest.
“I want you too.” I run my hand through her soft hair. “But I don’t want to hurt you.” She smiles up at me, and I return it. Kissing her forehead, I say, “Come on. Let’s get some rest.”
We lie back down, and she buries her face in my chest once again. I stay awake, watching her fall asleep in my arms, and eventually, her breathing evens out. I kiss her forehead and whisper, “I love you, sweetheart.” Then I close my eyes, hoping tonight will be the first night in a long time I’ll actually get some rest, knowing she’s in my arms.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
COLE
I OPEN THE clubhouse door and step outside. The air has a slight chill, and the wind has picked up, making the trees surrounding the clubhouse howl. The sun is just starting to rise. Crossing my arms over my chest, I watch the detective get out of his unmarked police car. “Monroe.” I nod in greeting.
“Cole.” He comes to a stop before me, dressed in a black button-down and jeans. “How is she doing?”
“Great,” I answer.
Austin’s been out of the hospital for three weeks now. She, Lilly, and I have been living here. We’ve already made one trip with Deke to Texas and moved all of our stuff into our house but came back for Austin’s checkup. The doctor gave her the green light yesterday.
“I spoke to your father, and he said you guys are leaving town tomorrow morning.”
Why is he talking to Liam? “Am I not allowed?”
“No. No, you are,” he assures me.
I’m no longer a suspect. Haven’t been since I was questioned, but my father’s attorney called me last week to tell me it was official. Like I didn’t already know. “So what was so important that you couldn’t talk to me over the phone?”
He had called me last night while Austin was giving Lilly a bath and asked if he could come by. I offered to meet him at the station, but he insisted on making a house call.
“I was wondering if you had heard from Kellan?” he asks, placing his hands in his pockets.
“No.” I shake my head.
He looks over my shoulder to the clubhouse for a long second and then back at me. “Funny how he just … disappeared.”
He knows I did something, but he just can’t prove it. “Wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened here in Collins,” I say, and his eyes narrow.
Mr. Biggs’ business partner went missing a couple of years back, and nothing was ever done about it. Monroe was the detective on the case. Funny how he makes fifty grand a year but lives in the same neighborhood as Deke’s parents. He gets paid under the table to overlook shit, and the whole town knows it. His time will come, and he’ll have to answer for his mistakes in blood.