“Wait, that’s not…” Mason frowned. “I didn’t say—”
“I heard everything you didn’t say,” I assured him. “My point is that Lety from the Concha has been slaving away over some soup thing she swears is your favorite, and Jonquil hasn’t slept in days because in between coming up with random ideas to save the bridge, she keeps dreaming the balloons will catch fire, and the Stallions MC missed out on a run in Miami this weekend because they wanted to be here to thank you for patching up Bobo’s leg. And I don’t tell you that to make you feel guilty at all, just to say, try to look past the crazy and see the love, okay?”
In them and in me.
“Toby,” Mason began. “If I made you feel like—”
“Hey, Mase? Baby?” Fenn appeared in the doorway. “Oh, hey, Toby. Nice to meet you officially. Not sure I said that earlier, what with you being, ah… busy.”
“Yep.” I smiled sadly. “Same here.”
He shifted his attention back to Mason, and his eyes—blue, like Beale’s, though not nearly as pretty—softened. He took one of Mason’s hands in his and stroked his other hand over Mason’s cheekbone. What would it be like to have someone look at you like that? I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get to know.
“I know you’re tired, love, but everyone got us housewarming gifts—like, a hundred of them—and Dale wants us to open his.” He shrugged, all helpless amusement.
“Okay, but I was in the middle of—” Mason looked uncertainly from me to Fenn.
“Pfft. Go on!” I made a shooing motion with my hands. “Open those gifts. I’ve seen what Dale got you, and you’re gonna love it.” He totally would not love it.
“You sure?” Mason lifted an eyebrow. “We’ll finish this later?”
“You know where to find me.” Back in the city, where I belonged.
Still, he hesitated. “I’m sorry if it seemed like—”
“Like you were being protective of Beale?” I smiled. “Don’t be silly. I’m really glad he has people looking out for him. He deserves that.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Mason slid his hand into Fenn’s. “Thanks, Toby.”
“Always, darling.”
As soon as he left, I zipped up my suitcase and made a phone call.
“Nope, I still don’t get it,” Littlejohn said. “Why’re you leaving?”
I sighed.
The windshield wipers on the freaking Mercedes SUV LJ had been hiding in his detached garage swiped side to side, and I fervently hoped this storm was somehow passing around Whispering Key. I’d seen Beale laughing with Fenn as I snuck away from the party, and I wanted to remember him that way—happy and carefree. I didn’t want the party ruined for him, either by my drama or the pesky raindrops.
“I just told you why. I’m not who I’ve been pretending to be. I’m Mason’s friend Toby, not Beale’s soul mate, and I have a whole shitstorm with Jayd to deal with back in New York.”
“That’s nonsense. Ya might not be Trey, but that’s just a nickname—I knew it wasn’t your real name from the first minute, but I figured I’m a man whose mama named him Littlejohn, so I ain’t about to judge someone who chooses something better for himself.”
I huffed out a short laugh.
“You showed us who you were every day you were here, Toby,” he insisted stubbornly. “An’ you might not have started out as Beale’s soul mate, but you ended up that way.”
“No. That’s not…”
“And who cares if you got your picture taken with Jayd? Who cares if you screwed your way through every woodwind in the orchestra? We’re real free love on Whispering Key.” He gave me a solemn look. “Just ask Lorenna McKetcham.”
I blinked. “I’d… truly rather not.”
“Alls I’m sayin’ is, the guy I got to know was as real as they come. So maybe Trey is who you really are, and Toby is the lie.”
I snorted. “I almost wish my mother and I still spoke, just so I could explain to her that I’m really Trey and not Tobias.” Then I sighed. “I wish it worked that way, Littlejohn, I really do. I, uh…” Oh, what was the harm in admitting it at this point? “I really liked it here. You’ve been a good friend to me. From the very first Pizza Bite.”
“Well, back atcha, Toby. An’ I’m gonna think of you…” He sniffled. “Every time I make SpaghettiO Surprise.”
It was probably a sign of fatigue and emotional overwhelm that I was weirdly moved by this.
“Well, you have my number,” I reminded him. “If you need someone to watch game shows with, you can call me anytime.”
“Oh, I will,” he said, not in the way that people in the city said it, like you knew they didn’t mean it because they figured you didn’t mean it either, but serious as a heart attack. “I’ll call you all the time. We’re friends no matter what name you go by. And I expect a call tonight when you get home safe.”
I swallowed hard and my eyes filled up. Damn it all, this had been the weirdest day.
Relationships of all kinds were the official bane of my existence.
Littlejohn reached over and grabbed me by the back of the neck, probably recognizing the shiny stuff spilling from my eyes before I did, and tugged my head against his shoulder. He ruffled my hair with more honest affection than my own dad had ever shown me… and that was when I lost control of myself completely.
LJ didn’t say a single word. He just pulled the car to the side of the road and patted my shoulder while I cried.
16
Beale
Czarina’s StarCharts for Today:
Poor Virgo. Remember the sun is always shining, even when you can’t see it.
I woke up Saturday with a raging headache and a face full of Marjorie’s tail.
The party the night before had gone on roughly forever. Even though thunder had rumbled nearby early on, the rain had never materialized, so everyone had stayed and drank, and then stayed and drank some more. I’d stuck around to keep an eye on things, even after Gage, Rafe, and Dad left, and Fenn and Mason went in the house to sleep. Eventually, only the Mahjong Crew and the Stallions MC had been left, whooping and hollering and shooting Jack Daniels as they jigged to “Devil Went Down to Georgia.” Finally, in the early morning hours, the calmer and wiser group retired, too, and only Lorenna McKetcham’s girls remained.
“I’m going to sleep,” I’d told them when Jonquil Pepper had said something about skinny-dipping, because seeing my former kindergarten teacher naked by the light of the full moon was maybe the only thing that would make the evening worse. My face felt sore from forcing a smile so long, and my heart ached.
I had no idea how to feel about Toby, and that was the truth. I’d asked him for honesty, and he’d lied. I’d thought we were getting close, and it turned out he wasn’t the person I’d thought I knew at all. I’d given him my heart, even if he didn’t know it, and he’d drop-kicked it off a cliff.