But she’s not here.
I stand up.
The pounding on my door intensifies. “Fuck, can you hear me?!”
Striding over, each second there feels like someone is clenching my heart in their fist. Pump. Pump. Trying to wake the cold, lifeless organ.
The chorus starts as I put my hand on the knob. I’ve listened to this song a million-and-one times, but tonight it sounds different in my head. I should turn it off. But something is wrong with me. I feel it deep inside me like dark ink bleeding into paper, and Willow can’t change me.
No one can.
I open the door.
My neighbor’s angered brown eyes pierce me. Baseball cap turned backward. Penn shirt and khakis. He looks like he should be at the Alpha Omega Zeta house, not some apartment building in Center City.
“Yeah?” I ask, not needing to raise my voice over the music since we’re close enough.
He holds out his hand. “I’m Jared, your neighbor. Sorry, man, I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself yet.”
I moved into this building the same time Willow left for Wakefield. I wanted a change. But it’s been a week, and Jared and I have crossed paths a few times already. He’s never said a word to me before. So this pseudo-fake-nice bullshit is just all for show.
“Cool,” I say, but I don’t shake his hand.
Jared pauses for a second and then drops his arm. “Hey, you think you can turn down your music? I’m kind of having a party. It’s my girlfriend’s birthday.”
I glance towards his apartment and notice three girls and two guys wedged in his doorway, watching our interaction. I’m not even sure how many more people are inside his place.
“Then it looks like I’m giving your girlfriend a birthday present.” I swing my head back to Jared. “Being introduced to Interpol is probably the best gift she’s going to get tonight.”
Jared laughs dryly, annoyance flashing in his eyes. “Look, we don’t want to listen to your music.”
“You’re right, yours is so much better,” I say, sarcasm on my lips. “It’s been nothing but pure bliss for the past hour.”
“Dude, I’m sorry.” Jared holds up his hands in defense. “We didn’t mean to be so loud. Maybe we can come to some sort of understanding.” His eyes scan me from my bare feet to my head. “You go to Penn? Come grab a beer with us. We’ve got plenty in the room.”
Three years ago, I might have taken that offer.
Today, I just want to be alone.
“I don’t want your beer. Just stop knocking into my walls—”
“Holy shit,” a girl from the doorway exclaims loudly. Her friends huddle around her, staring at the cell in her clutch. “You’re Garrison Abbey!”
Jared frowns, brows knotting. “Ana, am I supposed to know who that is?”
Ana glides over in heels, her blonde hair in a tight ponytail that looks honest-to-God painful. I don’t know how girls do that. She puts a hand to Jared’s chest. “Ignore my boyfriend. He isn’t well-acquainted with entertainment news or Celebrity Crush.”
I almost roll my eyes at the trash tabloid. Okay, I have picked up the magazine at the grocery checkout before. But it’s certified crap.
Jared shakes his head. “Wait, he’s been in Celebrity Crush?”
“Yeah, with the Calloway sisters,” Ana says, pointing to me like I’m not right here.
Jared looks me up and down like he’s trying to figure me out now. “So are you dating one of the Calloway sisters then?”
I almost laugh.
They’re all married.
None of them to me. And if any of the Calloway sisters heard that question, they would most likely die in their own fit of laughter. Willow—she’d probably wrap her arms around me. I’d wrap mine around her. Just to say this one is mine.
“Oh my God.” Ana’s face roasts a shade of red. “Please stop talking, Jared.” To me, she says, “I’m so sorry. The second I have the chance, he’s bingeing Princesses of Philly.” I haven’t heard someone mention PoPhilly in a while. The short-lived reality show happened years ago. I wasn’t in it. I didn’t even know the Calloway sisters back then.
A docuseries featuring the sisters and their men is ongoing and more current, but We Are Calloway is critically acclaimed and covers serious topics like addiction and PTSD. Maybe too highbrow for this girl since she doesn’t mention it.
I’m not in the mood to explain how I’m connected to the Calloways, but luckily I have Ana here willing to do it for me.
She’s focused on her boyfriend. “You do know who Loren Hale is, right? If not, we can no longer date.” She crosses her arms over her chest, like she’s serious about this.
Jesus.
This is dumb.
It’s like watching a fucking train wreck with Interpol still blaring in the background. Loren Hale should never be the decider for any relationship. If he were, mine would have ended before it even began.
Jared doesn’t blink. “Everyone knows Loren Hale.”
That’s just not true, but okay.
“Prove it.” Ana arches a brow.
“He owns Superheroes & Scones and Hale Co. I have his baby oil in my shower.” Way too much information from my neighbor. And it’s not specifically Loren’s bottle of baby oil. The family-owned company manufactures baby products. Hale Co. is one of the most well-known brands in the country.
Jared looks to me. “Loren is also married to the sex addict Calloway sister.”
My skin crawls with how Jared just described Lily Calloway. Like that’s all she’s fucking known for. Not the fact that she’s the one who actually owns Superheroes & Scones. At one point in my life, I even worked for her.
Jared looks to me and continues on. “But I don’t get it. How do you know Loren Hale?”
I open my mouth.
But Ana answers first. “He’s dating Loren Hale’s little sister.”
And there it is.
I shouldn’t be famous. I shouldn’t be recognizable, especially when I’m not always around Loren or any of the Calloways. But it’s happening. And there’s only a small comfort in knowing that Ana at least took a few minutes to double check her phone before being able to recognize me.
It wasn’t instant recognition.
Good.
“Huh,” Jared muses.
“I’m going to turn my music down,” I say before either of them can jump in. “Keep the banging to a minimum and we won’t have problems.”
“Wait, it’s my birthday.” Ana hooks her arm with Jared’s. “Do you think you could like call Loren and have him wish me a happy birthday. Just really quick. It doesn’t even need to be FaceTime. Hearing his voice would be the literal best birthday present ever. I’m a huge fan.”
I glance to her boyfriend.
Jared’s gaze is pleading. Practically saying, come on, man, help me out. Like he wants me to give him points with his girl so he can get a blow job later tonight.
I do have Loren Hale’s number.
My gaze settles on Ana. “I already gave you your birthday present,” I say. “Ask your boyfriend about it.”
I shut the door on them.
Immediately, I go to my stereo, lowering the music to a tolerable level. My ears ring. My head throbs. I collapse on my mattress and stare up at a yellow stain on the ceiling. Seconds later, the EDM starts up next door again. But it’s softer and no longer vibrates my walls and desk.