“Turn your head.”
When I do, he catches my mouth with his. His kiss is urgent and passionate as he drives his cock all the way inside me in one hard thrust.
I moan into his mouth, but his kiss swallows down the sound. And, he doesn’t let up. He drives in and out of in me relentlessly, hitting that spot inside of me that only he can touch.
I come so hard I see stars.
Ayden swallows my screams and kisses me through his own release. He holds onto my hips as he drives into me all the way through his orgasm.
“Jesus, Bella.” He kisses my neck tenderly. “You always blow my fucking mind.”
As he pulls out of me and we go about making ourselves presentable to leave the restroom, I put my hand on his arm.
“I love you, Ayd.”
“I love you, too.” His eyes search mine. “You okay?”
I nod. “You were right. This did help with my nerves. I’m just emotional is all.”
“I know.”
I know he does.
We don’t talk about our pregnancy failures often. But every month that I’m late, we get hopeful, and this month, I’m over a week late. So, I’m hopeful again. Cautiously hopeful. And he would never say it, but I know Ayden is, too.
He takes my face in his hands. “You’ll always have me, Bella. No matter what, we’ve got each other. Okay?”
I stand on my toes so I can give him a kiss.
I mean for it to be quick, but I’m still emotional, and so is he. He kisses me deeply, and it’s filled with everything we’ve shared—the love and the lust and the pain and the joy—it’s us over the last four years together. We’ve experienced so many blessings and so much success. Our marriage is filled with unconditional love, trust, and happiness. Only one thing has marred our experience, and it’s something we’ve stopped talking about for the most part.
Not every couple is blessed with a pregnancy and a child. Not every woman is successful with fertility treatments. And after all of that loss, sometimes a couple just needs to accept the gifts they do have and let the rest go.
Because Ayden and I are lucky. We have lots of nephews and nieces to shower with love. We have an amazing family to support us. And most importantly, we have each other.
I think about the unused pregnancy test in my purse.
I should wait to take it until after the show tonight.
I can’t take it now anyway. My purse is back at my seat.
But, once I get to Vegas, I could take it then.
Chapter Two
Bella
It’s hotter than sin under these lights.
And while I love this song—I love to sing, period—I’m just not feeling it tonight. Despite that fact, I managed to shake off the last of my nerves before I stepped onto the stage and, like Ayden promised, I’ve nailed my performance. I look straight at him in the audience as I hit the last note perfectly, and he stands immediately and cheers. I do a final riff on my guitar before waving to the crowd and ducking backstage.
The next presenter stands out on an adjacent stage and reads off the nominees for Best Song that—for the first time in my career—includes me.
I’m nominated for a Golden Gem Award, the most prestigious in the singer-songwriter community. My song ”Someday” is something I wrote last year and released on a whim as a single without an album backing it up. Listeners related to it, and it climbed up the charts, giving me my first Top 10 hit.
The presenter tears open the envelope and leans into the microphone. “And the winner is…Bella Wild!”
I’m numb with excitement as I make my way over to the stage to accept the award. I look out into the crowd of people, and I freeze, having no idea what to say. But then I lock eyes with Ayden, his gaze intently on me. He winks at me, and the words come.
“This song is for anyone who’s struggling with a dream,” I say softly. The next words get caught in my throat, and I have to force them out, “Sometimes, we don’t know when or how our dream will come true. I wrote this about my struggle, but I wrote it for all of you, to let you know that we’re all in this together, and if we keep trying, life has a funny way of working out.” I say the next part directly to Ayden, “To my husband and best friend, for always having my back and never giving up on me. With you by my side, I never feel alone.”
I thank my family and all of Lucky Bay, Maine, as well as my fans and my label, and then I hurry backstage before I start crying on live television.
Ayden
Bella’s off. And I don’t mean musically. Her song was exquisite, and she hit every note. And she looks beautiful as always. Her long blond hair is styled with some knot or something on top of her head, and her stage makeup shows off her amazing hazel eyes. The knee-length purple dress she’s wearing fits her model figure to a glove. I can’t take my eyes off of her. But she could be wearing a t-shirt and cut-offs and I’d feel the same way. I’ve never been able to take my attention off of Bella.
But as I watch her, I can tell something in her body language isn’t right.
Especially when she accepts her award. Her voice is shaking and not from nerves. Yes, she’s always shy when she’s public speaking, but it’s something else.
She’s carrying some pain around with her on stage, and I haven’t been alone with her to find out what it is.
I’m not sure when things changed, because she seemed fine when we walked the red carpet together. She always hates being interviewed, and as usual, she was relieved when the reporter brought me into the conversation.
We were laughing when we got to our seats because my phone was already lighting up with one text after another from my best friend, Peter, and my cousins. Each text gave me more shit than the last one about what I looked like on screen, and how come I didn’t shout them out, blah, blah, blah.
Bella and I spent the first five minutes firing back a few pointed replies together. Then, the show started, and Bella presented an award before she had to go change and prepare for her performance.
And then she sang her heart out, and won the biggest award of her career.
Yet, she looks like she’s about to burst into tears.
She’s the most important person in my life, the only woman I’ve ever loved, and I hurt when she does.
I want to rush the stage and make her pain go away. But that’s obviously a bad idea. So, I wait until Bella disappears backstage, and then I exit my seat. I need to get to her dressing room and find out what’s going on.
I’ve just made it to the back hallway when my phone rings.
I glance at the screen. When I see the face of my brother, Michael, flash across the screen, I pick up.
Like my late father, Michael’s a fisherman. Our dad’s boat went down in a storm and the whole crew drowned, which means we all worry about Michael when he’s on the water. Especially my mother, who never got over my dad’s death. Privately, I’m not sure Michael’s over it either. We’ve been trying to convince him to get out of Maine for a vacation, but so far, no dice.
“Everything okay?” I ask him.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Michael’s gruff tone is unusually soft. “Bella won.”
“I know. I was sitting in the audience,” I say jokingly. “I’m surprised you took the time to watch.”