My older brother loves Bella like a sister, but he’s not into awards shows.
“Ma made me watch it with her,” he says, and I can practically see him scowling.
I chuckle. “That makes more sense then.”
“Yep. Anyway, Bella looked upset. I don’t know her like you do, but we did all grow up together. I wanted to check in.”
“Thanks.” I mean it. Michael and I have been through a lot with our father passing when we were kids, and it took us a while to realize we aren’t as different as we thought we were. He and I have grown closer since I left Maine, which makes no sense in some ways, but it’s the truth. “I’m about to go find out what’s going on. I’m on my way to her dressing room.”
“Good. Go take care of your wife. Tell her congrats from Ma and me. Her parents and Grandpa called us already—that’s how excited they are. The whole town’s going to be buzzing about it tomorrow.”
I grin. “You jealous?”
“Not even a little. I’m proud of you guys. But where’d that fancy-ass suit come from? You looked like you were modeling for a designer.”
“You only wish you could pull that look off.” My brother’s a good-looking dude—Bella describes him as ruggedly hot—but he’s not exactly a suit and tie guy.
“Ha. And you really need to work on your audience face.”
I should have known this was coming. “What the hell?”
He lets out a short laugh. “When the camera panned to you, you weren’t smiling at first. I thought Bella was coaching you to keep that smile on your mug for her entire song.”
Bella did tell me that, not because she cares what I look like on screen, but because she knows how my cousins and brother love to give me shit.
“Fuck you,” I say. “I’m going now.”
I can still hear him laughing as I end the call.
Bella
I leave the stage to a loud ovation, and make my way through the back hallway to my dressing room. I get stopped twice to give interviews, and I make it through them without a hitch. As a performer, I’ve learned how to keep a smile on my face no matter what I’m feeling inside.
But once I reach the privacy of my dressing room and have shut and locked the door, I place my trophy carefully on my desk and stare into the mirror.
Today is the greatest moment of my professional life.
And it should be a joyful moment in my personal life also.
But…
I reach into the trash can underneath my desk and pull out the tissue that’s wrapped around a cylindrical object. I unwrap the tissue and stare again at the white stick.
One line.
Not pregnant.
Again.
I couldn’t get my mind off the pregnancy test, and I stupidly convinced myself to find out before my performance. I thought knowing the result—good or bad—would help me before I sang. Instead, learning it was a big, fat negative just made me feel like the walls were closing in on me.
I don’t even think I can bear to tell Ayden this time.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
The specific knock on my door is Ayden’s knock.
Which means…I can’t put this off.
I exhale a deep breath. With the stick still in my hand, I cross the room and open the door.
“Congratulations, babe. I’m so proud of you.” He steps inside the room.
“Thank you. Ayd…”
Ayden takes one look at my face and takes me into his arms without a word.
I bury my face in his shoulder for a moment, enjoying strong, safe feel of his arms.
Then, I pull away and shut the door behind us so we’re alone. And I hand him the stick I still have in my hand.
He glances at it, and as always, he does a fantastic job of masking his own anguish. He meets my gaze. “I’m so sorry, B. When did you find out?”
“Five minutes before I was set to go onstage,” I say. “I couldn’t wait to take the test. I obviously should have waited, but I had to pee and it was there and…I was just excited. And anxious. I thought maybe this time…”
“I know.” He kisses me. “I hoped so, too.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “All these years and…”
“Hey.” He cups my cheek with his hand that’s rough from landscaping. “We’re in this together. And no one’s to blame. You hear me?”
I nod.
“I have a surprise,” he says. “Instead of flying home to L.A., we’re going to go a little further.”
“A little further is the Pacific Ocean,” I say.
“Where there are islands…” His crazy-gorgeous ocean-blue eyes dance with excitement.
I smile through my tears. “Hawaii?”
“You and me. A Valentine’s vacation for two whole weeks. No work, no performances, no media, and no pressure. What do you say?”
“I say yes.”
Chapter Three
Ayden
Maui is as beautiful as I remember it the last time Bella and I came here. That trip was our honeymoon, and we had never been to Hawaii before.
I made reservations at the same resort-style hotel we stayed at then, and Bella squeezes my hand as I drive us there in our rental car we picked up at the airport.
“This is so romantic, Ayd. Thank you for thinking of it.”
“Anything for you, Bella.”
And I mean it. This woman is everything to me—she’s my angel, my goddess, and my best friend. She was there for me during the darkest times in my life, when my dad drowned and I felt alone in the world. She was there for me during the happy times, too, and no matter what storm we weather, I know she’ll always be there.
Whenever Bella has a problem, I do my best to help her find a solution. But not all issues have easy fixes. And this baby business has proven to be something I feel like I have no control over.
“All we’re going to do on this vacation,” I tell Bella as we pull into the resort and the concierge comes over to help us with our bags, “is have fun.” I whisper in her ear, “Which means lots of sex.”
She laughs. “Well, we’re off to a good start, I’d say. Remember the plane ride?”
“How could I forget?” I grin at her. “But that’s just round one, sweetheart. We’re just getting started. I want you feeling really good a few more times tonight.”
I make good on my promise to Bella. I take her from behind in the shower, again on the bed, and then I sink into her on the loveseat in our hotel suite just before I come so hard I collapse next to her on the cushions.
We order room service and fill ourselves up on fresh fish, salad, and lava cake for dessert.
Bella’s falling asleep before we’ve finished the cake.
“It’s been a long day,” I say as we climb into bed and I pull her back into my chest. “We’ll sleep in tomorrow.”
“I love you, Ayd,” she murmurs as she drifts off.
“I love you, Bella.” I kiss her hair. “Sleep tight.”
“You know I’m not into scuba diving,” Bella protests when I hand her a snorkeling mask the next morning.