"She loves you, Bristol. And more, she’s proud of you.” He gave me a gentle squeeze, and I wished, desperately, that I could have been in love with him. Knowing that it was something beyond my control.
I watched Aric turn and take a glass of scotch from a nearby server, watched the way he swirled the dark liquid in the glass he held, and wondered why my thoughts of love drew me to a man I’d never met. To that essence of him I could feel but was hard-pressed to explain. It was something not truly dark, but there was a cloudy undercurrent that pulled me. "I hope she is proud. By the way, I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is over by the corner of the room. He’s been watching us dance."
He looked over his shoulder and I saw the smile light his face. "Ah, so he is. I was wondering why you asked about him. I should go say hi."
I gave his cheek a pat, feeling constricted by everything. Thirsty and desperate for a drink. "Yes, go talk to your friend, Holden. We've had our required dance for the night, and everyone is well aware that Mitnar and Theodosia haven’t declared war in the last day, so we’re good. But I really need more than one drink." I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly.
I needed the hit of the alcohol if I was to be carved up by sharp green eyes. Needed it if I was going to survive the night with the image of them burned into my brain.
And the fact that I wanted to see them up close was the reason I moved away.
3
Aric
At any moment I would regain control of my baser urges and look away. The difficulties of the last couple of years compound with the stress of the last twenty-four hours, making me lose my grip on the reins of my self-control.
Not even the fact that she caught me staring was enough to stop me from devouring her with my eyes. When she turned my way, I stood my ground and kept my gaze on the pair as they danced slowly. On her. It was all I could do with the expectations placed on us. There was nothing wrong with looking. Wishing.
Only with touching what could never be mine.
Her bright red hair glinted under the lights of the sparkling chandelier overhead. The dark blue wisps of fabric wrapped around her slender figure, the flowing skirt twirling as Holden led her around the dance floor.
It put me in the unique and unenviable position of despising my closest friend—of thinking him the luckiest man in the world.
Her amber eyes landed on mine in a clash of color, sparks flying through the connection between us. As separated as we might have been by the space and the dancers throughout the room, the phantom touch of her hands running over my skin tortured me.
Something I'd never felt. Something I'd never be able to feel.
Because no matter what I wanted, she belonged to Holden. Her smile, her warmth, and her quiet strength would be his alone.
Her lips parted as her gaze dropped from my eyes to my mouth and crept along the tightness of my jaw. She studied me like she saw the creature lurking within, the one stalking and pacing back and forth, that no one else saw. Like she saw right through my facade without letting it fool her for even a moment. She made me feel like a caged animal, a lion ready to challenge Holden for the right to claim her.
To take her and make her mine.
The only thing that stopped me from doing so was the truth of what such a scandal would mean for Lantis. We’d never been the most prosperous of Kingdoms, but our history was rooted in respectability. My father had shattered that reputation when he made a mockery of our royal family on the day he married our mother and gave her the keys to a Kingdom she had no place ruling.
I wouldn't be able to heal our reputation if I caused a rift between our ally countries, all for the sake of something as selfish as a woman I wanted for myself.
Bristol’s pale pink lips moved as she murmured something to Holden sweetly, when she finally turned her attention away from me, leaving me bereft without the feel of her eyes on mine. Holden threw me a look over his shoulder as the song ended and they finished their dance, separating from Bristol quickly with an amicable, passionless goodbye.
Holden turned toward me with a smile as his future bride walked off in the opposite direction. Watching him stroll over, there could be no denying the wandering eyes of Princesses who glared at Bristol as she left him, only to turn those greedy gazes to the blond King who they would have for themselves, if he gave them any interest.
But he wouldn’t out of respect for Bristol. To do so in the week they were to make the announcement of their engagement would humiliate her. His smile turned sheepish as he glanced around, as though he’d only just realized his royal audience watched his every move. He shrugged, his mouth pursing as if I would denounce him for the attention he attracted.
My opposite in every way, Holden never needed to worry about being too intimidating to make people comfortable. He didn’t have to fear the consequences of his size or low economic position. He wasn’t the dangerously handsome Reece, but the Prince Charming type who attracted a very different crowd of women. He wasn’t poor, but neither rich enough to challenge Oshal.
In terms of the royals, he was middle of the road all the way. Rich enough to have a decent reputation, but not so rich that expectations from other Kingdoms weighed him down. Charming, without having to control his every reaction in public.
In short, I wanted to hate him. He had everything I could have dreamed of for myself. It was unfortunate that I knew how good a man he was.
He reached me and handed me a tumbler of scotch to replace the one I had drained as I was watching him dance with his future Queen. He smiled as he sipped his own. “It’s been too long.”
I reached up to adjust my bowtie, clearing my throat as I did so. As I remembered that I’d always turned down visiting him in Mitnar for fear that he would have Bristol there. The less time I spent around the siren who tempted me, the better. “It has. I hope your mother and sisters are well?”
He threw back his head and laughed. “Well enough, I suppose. Louisa is happily married and quite pregnant. Mother is thrilled at the prospect of having a grandchild. It’s keeping her distracted, truth be told.”
“And the little monster?” I asked of his younger sister, surprised that she wasn’t here.
“Faith is irritated that we didn’t let her come. Of course, she’s barely of age, so Mother had to stay behind and keep her out of trouble.” He turned to view the room. “They grow up so quickly, don’t they?”
“They do,” I answered, as I spied my sister speaking with the older man our mother hoped for her to marry. “Far too quickly.”
“Your sister caused quite a commotion tonight, revealing herself finally. I’m sure I heard no less than three distinct groups talking about her.” Holden threw me an assessing look. “How are you feeling about that?”
I sighed a little, because if there was anyone who knew and understood the struggles I had with my family, it would be Holden. “I have to be fine with it. I’ve no control over it. I can only pray that Alina will be well.”
He reached out to squeeze my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Aric. How is it we rule entire countries, but we have no say in the decisions that influence our own lives?”
Of course, he would mention Bristol. It galled me he could think about the need to marry her in the same tone I spoke of not having control over the man my sister was being made to marry. “Speaking of futures, how is she?” I asked, sipping my scotch and attempting to keep my face neutral to make sure I showed no sign of anger over the fact that he had no appreciation of the treasure he was being given.