I grinned. “Let’s go.”
The little bakery was adorable, and the massive slice of pie served up to me on a cute porcelain plate hit the spot. But as soon as I finished the last bite, the nausea hit me again. I rushed into the bathroom, and Ava came in right behind me. She was there for me throughout the episode. I couldn’t bring myself to be embarrassed. I was so happy to have her support and encouragement; that was all I thought about.
“I’m really going to miss you,” I said as I rinsed my mouth out.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because we’re not going to be around each other anymore,” I said.
“Then why don’t you stay? For at least a little while. Just a few days,” she said.
“Ava, we already talked about this.”
“I know,” she said. “And I didn’t get the answer I wanted.”
I laughed. “This just doesn’t feel like it’s going to have a good ending.”
“Maybe that’s because there isn’t going to be an ending,” she said. “Maybe there’s going to be a beginning. As a matter of fact, no matter what Tom says or does, there is a beginning. Why don’t you just wait and find out what else could be beginning, too? Just stick around for a few days.”
Finally, I caved. “Alright. Just for a few days. But I’m really burning into my vacation time here.”
Ava laughed and rubbed my back. “I think you have some leverage with your boss right now.”
35
Tom
“Hello, Ava,” I said, answering the phone. “The last time you called me, I got ambushed and my world completely turned upside down. What is it today? You turned my brother into a werewolf?”
“I deserve that,” Ava said on the other end of the line as she sighed. “No, I did not turn your brother into a werewolf. Can one even do that? I thought you were born a werewolf and changed with the full moon.”
“I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care,” I said. I knew I was being gruff, but at the moment I wasn’t terribly happy with Ava. I hadn’t seen or talked to her or Mason since yesterday, and it was probably for the better. I was extremely upset about how everything had gone on top of the shock and confusion surrounding what Amanda told me. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but I had an idea of who I could be at least a little frustrated at.
“I had lunch with Amanda,” Ava said, and I stopped cold.
“She’s still in town?” I asked, my voice rising a bit higher than I intended.
“For now,” Ava said. “You really upset her at the restaurant.”
I put my head in my hand and closed my eyes. If Ava had somehow convinced Amanda to stay, she might get back on my good side in record time. But this also meant I needed to deal with how I’d acted when Amanda told me about the baby. I had not been particularly helpful or even communicative. My brain had shut down, and I acted like a damn fool.
“I know, and I hate that I did that,” I said. “Do you know where she is right now?”
“I do, but I need to know something first,” Ava said.
“Anything,” I responded.
“I need to know that if I tell you where she is, that you won’t hurt her again,” she said. “I know you didn’t mean to before, but she is really sensitive, Tom. You really hurt her, and she needs you to be better than that.”
It was tough to hear her talk to me that way, but she was right to do it. Ava had never really shied away from telling me her opinions, and this time I knew they were coming from a place of someone who knew Amanda well enough, and cared for her enough, to not want her subjected to me at my worst. She probably felt as bad about how yesterday went as I did. She had talked her into coming in the first place.
“I will be,” I said. “I just need to see her.”
There was a pause on the other end, as if she was thinking about it and deciding if I was worthy of her trust. Then she sighed.
“Do you know the motel you stayed at when you first came into town. The one you said was woefully out of date and unequipped to be more than a flophouse?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“She’s there,” Ava said.
“What?”
“Well, she couldn’t go back to the hotel you were staying in, could she?” Ava said defensively. “I got her to stay a few days, but she wasn’t going there, and she needed her space. So that’s where she ended up. Now go get her.”
I jumped in my car and didn’t bother with the GPS. I knew how to get there, and I knew a quicker route than most turn-by-turn systems took people anyway. It might be a slightly longer distance, but the two main stretches of the drive were straight roads with no police presence, and I was accustomed to doing ever so slightly over the speed limit on them when I was in a hurry.
The engine revved and I pulled out, heading toward the hotel with words filtering through my brain and out of my mouth as I rehearsed what I wanted to say. No matter how good I started, though, nothing seemed right as I kept going, and I would give up halfway through and start over. I finally settled on trying to say very little other than apologizing for my actions and hoping she would at least listen. If she let me talk without me blabbing when I first saw her, I might be able to explain the complicated emotions I had.
When I got to the hotel, I knew which room she was in. The rest of the hotel was empty, and there was only one room with a light on in the window. And a box fan separating the curtains. I parked right in front of it and got out, taking a deep breath. All or nothing, this was it. I knocked on the door.
The bed inside creaked, and I heard her make her away across the room and pause. She was probably looking out the peephole at me, and suddenly I realized I should be holding flowers. Or chocolate. Or a chocolate croissant. Something. Instead, I smiled like a goofy idiot and waited. The door unlocked, and after what seemed like an eternity, it inched open.
“Hello, Amanda,” I said. She didn’t respond but left the door open as she turned around and went back to the bed. Sitting on it, she curled up her legs under her and picked up the remote for the TV, turning it off.
I followed her inside and sat down on a chair by the bed. Sitting on the bed felt like I would be pressuring her, but I didn’t want to seem intimidating by standing either. The chair was the safest place. Amanda turned her eyes to me and stared for a moment.
“What?” she asked, coldly.
“Look, I know I came off awful at the restaurant,” I said. She rolled her eyes. “I was in shock. I’m sorry. Really, I am sorry. I just…” I paused as I tried to find the right words. “I just never thought I would have kids at this age.” I looked down at my feet and swallowed. Here it was. The big admission. “Or someone I loved.”
The words hung in the air for a moment, and then I heard the sound of her taking a slow breath out. When I looked up at her again, her eyes were on me, and they were brimming with tears.
“You love me?” she asked, her voice on the edge of breaking. It clenched my heart to see her so emotional, and I stood, going to her and sitting on the bed next to her, as close to her as I could be without touching.