I didn’t even tell Landon I wasn’t going to be in the meeting that morning.
Suffice it to say, I didn’t do fantastically preparing for this trip. It was all I could do to gather up enough clothes and toiletries to get me through a couple days and get to the airport.
I know Tom would absolutely have noticed that I wasn’t there. If he mentioned it, Ava might have slipped and said something about it. As I grabbed my bags and headed for the exit, I realized the chances of that were pretty small.
Not only was she one of two people in the world other than me who knew I was pregnant and the one who made sure I came to Astoria to tell Tom, so I doubted she would out me, but I hadn’t heard from Tom. One way or the other, I figured I would hear from him if he found out I was there. Either he would be very unhappy to know I was coming and call to dissuade me from showing up, or he would be happy and come to the airport to pick me up.
I didn’t see him anywhere around and I didn’t have any texts or resistant voicemails from him. Most likely, he had no idea I was coming. This was probably for the better. Knowing I was in town would give him a chance to prepare himself, but it might prepare him for the wrong thing.
I walked out of the airport and was relieved to be able to immediately get in a cab. I already had a reservation at the same hotel where Tom and I stayed, so I gave the driver the address. I could only hope the hotel wouldn’t just stick me right back into the same room. That is, if Tom was staying with one of his brothers or his mother and wasn’t still in the room.
It hadn’t occurred to me until I was making that reservation that the only reason we were sharing the room to begin with was that there was only one room available when we got to the hotel. At some point during the months we were there together, a vacancy had to have opened up. we just had no interest in being in separate rooms.
When we were halfway to the hotel, I leaned forward and asked the driver to change the destination. Instead of bringing me to the hotel, I asked him to bring me to Ava’s house. I suddenly didn’t feel like I could be by myself. I needed to talk through this and get myself ready.
We pulled up in front of the house, and I noticed there was no car in the driveway.
“Give me just a second,” I asked the driver. “I’m going to call her and make sure she’s home.”
He nodded without saying anything.
“Hey, Amanda,” Ava said when she answered the phone. “Are you here?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I just left the airport. Actually, I’m sitting in the cab in front of your house. I was going to just go straight to the hotel, but I don’t particularly want to be alone right this second.”
“I’m not there,” Ava said, sounding regretful. “I’m actually up at the bar.”
My heart sank. “At the bar?”
There was no way I was going there to meet her.
“Yeah,” she said. “Just wait there. I’ll leave now and be there in just a few minutes. There’s a spare key in the fake rock in the left flower bed. Go ahead and let yourself in.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “Make yourself at home. Get a snack and a drink. Just relax. I’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Hanging up, I thanked the driver, gave him a generous tip, and got out. He helped me get my luggage out of the trunk, and I carried it up to the porch. I waited until he had driven away to find the fake rock in the flower bed.
I went inside and dropped my bags in the foyer. I intended on just going into the living room and waiting for her, but a sudden rumble of hunger in my stomach brought me into the kitchen. The Dayglow spray cheese and crackers Ava had given me during our first girl-talk session were suddenly calling to me. I made up a plate of them, poured myself a glass of iced tea, and went into the living room.
Half the plate of crackers was gone, and I was already whimpering my way through the first ten minutes of a women’s network movie when Ava came inside. I stood up to hug her when she came into the room.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said.
I nodded. “Me too. And just to be clear, I mean I’m glad to be at your house. The rest of the situation, I’m not so sure about.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because I’m supposed to be here telling a man I’m not even dating that I’m carrying his child, and I have no idea how he’s going to react. I don’t know what he’s going to say or expect. It’s just a lot.”
She looked down at the plate of crackers, then over at the screen. “What are you watching?”
“I don’t even know,” I said. “The woman loves a guy who loves someone else, but also her, but they grew up together and have reunited, but one of them is suffering through something… I’m still a little shaky on all the details. And yet, I’m sitting here stuffing myself with cheese and crackers and crying over it.”
She nodded and laughed as we sat down on the couch together. “That’ll happen. And I hate to have to tell you, it’s going to get worse.”
“Fantastic,” I said. “I guess it does mean that right about now would be the best time to tell Tom. While I still have some semblance of control.”
“Well, it’s not quite that bad,” Ava said with another laugh. “For the most part, you do remain the same human being throughout your pregnancy. But I do agree now is the best time to tell Tom.”
“He doesn’t know I’m here?” I asked, wanting to confirm it.
“No,” she said. “He was wondering about you earlier when you didn’t go to the meeting. I think he knows something’s up. I promise I didn’t tell him anything. Not even that you were coming.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“You know, I didn’t tell Mason I was pregnant for a while,” she said.
“You didn’t?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. It was really hard on me to begin with. And we weren’t really a couple when it happened. After the miscarriage when we were younger, I really have a hard time wrapping my head around the whole thing. I was terrified about losing another baby, and I didn’t know how he was going to feel. It was just a lot. So I kept it to myself for a long time.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I ended up telling him. Well, the bartender who desperately wanted to be friends with me ended up telling him. It was an accident, but it all came out and we were kind of forced to talk about it. He accepted it later on, and things turned out great,” she said.
“But you and Mason had history. You two were together for a really long time and were still in love with each other. Tom and I don’t have that. He never even defined our relationship,” I said.
“That’s true,” Ava said. “I can’t be absolutely sure things will be the same way. You don’t have the same type of history that Mason and I did, but there is definitely something between you. And it’s not like you just met. You’ve known each other for years and obviously got closer while you were here.”
“I’m just afraid it’s going to go so badly,” I said.
“I’m not,” she said. “I am more than confident things will work out between you two.”