Because, despite our intentions, Belle flat refused to hire any of the nannies we’d seen. The most I’d been able to convince her to do was speak with one of them about coming on in the future.
“I can’t believe it.”
I turned to look at Belle, who was staring at her phone. She raised her head, her eyes lit like the Christmas tree next to her, and grinned. “We got the deal with Society. They’re going to publish our monthly curated looks.”
She flew to me, arms wide and I turned into her. Her chin rested on my shoulder as she kissed my cheek.
“That’s amazing, beautiful.” I meant it. She’d taken her company, Bless, from an idea to a force in the fashion industry. But that wasn’t what really mattered. I hadn’t seen her this excited for weeks.
“Lola spoke with them. She’s going to put things together and send them to me for approval. It will have to be a joint effort until I’m back from maternity leave,” she rattled off all the details in a hushed voice while Penny continued to sleep in my arms.
“Your mum is famous,” I whispered to Penny, and Belle smiled sheepishly, rolling her eyes.
“It’s nothing.” She shrugged and I could already sense the happiness fading from her. I wished I could find the place where it was seeping out and fix it.
“It’s everything,” I said quickly. “And you don’t have to take maternity leave, beautiful.”
She bristled and I rushed on before she could mistake what I was saying. “I’m here without any clients. We can always call Nora to come a few days a week, so we have an extra set of hands.”
Belle bit her lower lip, a battle playing across her pale features. “Penny’s too little for a nanny.”
“Not a nanny. Just some help,” I corrected her. I’d been thinking of how to bring this up for a while. “Penny could be with you while you worked and Nora could just hang out. Nora might even be an extra set of eyes for you.”
“She’s a little young to be our target demographic, but she did seem interested in Bless,” Belle said thoughtfully. “Maybe just a couple afternoons a week.”
“That makes sense,” I said casually.
Belle took a deep breath, her eyes finding the floor, before she finally lifted them and whispered, “Am I a bad mom if I miss working?”
I shook my head, sighing, feeling as though a missing piece of an unfinished puzzle had finally appeared.
“How can you be sure?”
“If I told you I needed to meet a client in the village, what would you say?” I asked.
“I guess I’d just ask when and how long you’d be gone.” Her eyebrows furrowed together. “But you aren’t taking clients.”
“That’s not the point. It wouldn’t be odd for me to ask, so you shouldn’t feel guilty for working either,” I pointed out.
“It’s not like we need the money. I should be the one home with Penny,” she continued.
“And you will be.” I turned and kissed her forehead. “If anyone can be a brilliant business woman and a super mum, it’s you.”
“Are you sure?” The corners of her mouth twitching like she might actually smile.
“I’ll always bet on you,” I promised, meaning it with all my heart.
15
Belle
“I think that’s everything,” I announced to Nora, wishing that I felt as confident as I sounded. Lola had insisted on driving the two hours from Silverstone to Sussex to celebrate the latest big milestone for Bless. I’d tried to talk her out of it, but only half-heartedly. The truth was that the idea of seeing a friend had me more excited than I’d felt since we’d left hospital with Penny. Naturally, Lola’s visit coincided with the same day the new gardener was starting on, leaving Smith and I to our first real attempt to juggle having an infant and dealing with the outside world.
Nora poked her head over the changing bag. “Do you want me to check?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t about to admit to her that I’d written out a checklist last night and memorized it. It was only her second day on with us, but I didn’t want her thinking I was completely helpless. She was an extra pair of hands like Smith had said. She was just here to make life easier, not replace me. “I think we’re ready.”
She picked it up, not questioning me more, and swung it over her shoulder. “Do you want me to carry her down?”
I nodded, passing Penny to her. “I’m just going to grab my purse.”
We were leaving with more than enough time to spare. Smith had pulled the Range Rover around to the front drive and warmed it up. The only thing left was to check my lipstick and drive into town. I couldn’t deny that despite the happiness I felt, I dreaded today a little, too. It was the first time I was attempting to take the baby out socially. Yes, I would have Nora there, but I wanted things to go smoothly. If I thought I’d have to spend one more day trapped inside Thornham, wandering the halls like a prisoner, I might go mental.
I was most of the way to the front door when Mrs. Winters caught me. “Will you be taking dinner at the normal hour?”
I suspected that Mrs. Winters was horrified by Smith’s and my lack of decorum. Given that we had no formal dining room, we often took dinner in the kitchen with whatever staff was around for the evening. Some nights we skipped an evening meal entirely. On more than one occasion, she’d cooked a whole meal only to discover we weren’t hungry. We’d quickly learned that on those nights, we were expected to eat whether we wanted to or not. It was a lot less like having a housekeeper and more like having an overbearing governess.
“I suppose it would be better to ask Mr. Price. I don’t know how long he’ll be with Rowan.”
Her mouth pinched into a grim line, revealing a mapwork of wrinkles. “Customarily, the lady of the house makes these decisions.”
I bit my tongue before I could tell her that I was about as far from a lady as she could imagine.
“I guess you’ll have to settle for the gentleman of the house.” I hoped she used that terminology with Smith. The only thing more suspect than calling me a lady was thinking of him as a gentleman.
Not that he’d been his usual self in that regard since Penny was born.
“And will Miss Welter be dining with you?”
I could tell from the way she asked that the idea of the nanny eating dinner with the family was even more scandalous than my disinterest in running the household like we were in a nineteenth century novel.
“For fuck’s sake, I don’t know,” I exploded. Mrs. Winters grimaced slightly but maintained her composure. I suppose she now knew exactly how much of a lady I was. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be late, and the baby is in the car.”
“Of course, I would never dream of keeping you from your child,” she said in a clipped tone, but there was a current running through her words like a trickle of ice cold water.
I felt considerably less buoyant as I stepped out the front door, shrugging my Burberry trench coat over my shoulders. A loud whistle sliced through the air, followed by Smith’s voice. “I’m not certain the village is prepared for you.”