Pain. So much of it.
Jimmy’s face, yanking my legs apart, laying atop my broken body. There is no one here to save me.
The knife was against my neck, leering eyes watched the life seep from me. I screamed, screamed for help until my throat was raw.
Suddenly, someone was shaking me and light flashed in my face. I blinked, disorientated for a second. Cade’s worried and angry face filled my vision.
“Gwen. What the fuck?” he demanded.
I was still confused. I’m in my bed. It was still dark outside. Wait, how did he get in here? I glanced down and saw a gun in his hands. This was a lot to take in.
“Why do you have a gun?” I asked, one of the many questions I had, but half asleep, that was what I deigned most important.
Cade’s expression turned stormy. “Well, after finding an empty bed and Amy’s car gone, I came here to hear you screaming bloody fucking murder. Wasn’t coming in unarmed. What the fuck was that, Gwen?” he bit out.
I sat up in bed and he sat on the side, arms crossed. “Nothing,” I mumbled, embarrassed. “Just a nightmare.”
“Didn’t sound like any fuckin’ nightmare,” he growled, his face softened and stroked my face. “Baby,” he whispered, concern on his rugged face.
I ignored this. “What are you doing here?” I snapped, now that I was a bit more awake my sass came back, so did my anger.
Cade glared at me. Obviously I wasn’t the only angry one.
“Well, like I said, Gwen, got kind of fucking worried coming back to an empty bed, with no explanation as to where you were. Especially after all the shit with Bull.”
I forgot my anger a second and laid my hand on his arm. “Is Bull okay?” I asked with concern.
Cade’s eyes hardened even more. He was obviously upset about his brother but didn’t want to show weakness. “No,” he clipped. “We’ve got him on watch until we can sort something. He’s alive, though. Thanks to you.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, partly to hide my skimpy nightie. I watched as Cade’s hungry eyes zeroed in.
“I’m glad to hear that he’s still breathing at least,” I whispered sadly. I lingered in my sadness for a moment, then snapped my head up. “You need to leave,” I spat at Cade, remembering myself.
Cade scowled and stood up, undressing. “Like fuck I’m going anywhere. I had a hard fuckin’ night and the only good thing about it was knowing I’d get to slide into you at the end of it. I’m staying here and you’re telling me why you left,” he told me, like it was his choice to make.
I hauled the covers back, my anger back with a vengeance. I tried to ignore Cade’s gaze on my body. I stood toe to toe with him, glaring up at him.
“So you were planning on fucking me after you’d already had your dick in some skank?” I hissed, watching Cade’s eyes widen. “Classy, Cade. How dare you think you can come waltzing into my life, claim me as your ‘Old lady,’” I inserted air quotes here, “make me stupidly believe I feel something for you and then fuck around right under my nose?” I poked him in the chest. “I am no idiot and I’m not going to let some biker asshole hurt me in any way, shape, or form, ever again!”
Cade seized my hand at his chest roughly and grabbed my hip with his other hand.
“You better watch how you are fucking talking to me,” he snarled menacingly. His anger pulsed around me.
“Why? You going to smack me around now?” I hissed at him, trying to struggle out of his hold.
“You know I wouldn’t, Gwen, even if it might smack some goddamned sense into you.”
His arms were like a vice around me.
“Stop struggling, Gwen, and what the fuck? I haven’t had my dick in anyplace but your sweet pussy tonight. Although, I’m feeling this pussy might be a hell of a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”
His words cut through me, I struggled not to double over, but I kept my brave face.
“Don’t insult me by denying it, asshole. Ginger came to see me tonight, filled me in on where your cock’s been.” I watched Cade’s face harden even more. “And I saw the lipstick on your neck with my own eyes.”
He let me go to stride around the room, fists clenched.
“Fuck!” he yelled.
I flinched, slightly afraid. He noted this but didn’t tone it down.
“Didn’t put my dick anywhere near that toxic pussy, Gwen,” he stated quietly, looking me in the eyes.
I gulped, suddenly unsure, but still knowing how easy it was for men to lie. I was confused, but I wasn’t going to give in.
“Where were you for the whole night then, Cade?” I asked, praying for some sort of explanation.
Cade was still glaring at me, eyes wild. “Club business, Gwen, none of yours.”
I snorted. “None of my business?” My voice was bordering on shrill. “So is it my business when you fuck someone else?”
“She came onto me, pushed that bitch off. Wouldn’t touch that trash when I knew what a sweet piece I had in my bed.”
His gray eyes were piercing into me, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was telling the truth. I didn’t like that I had a small inkling of doubt curling in my stomach.
“Yeah, Gwen. See you’re getting it now,” he spoke slowly. “You’re so fucking quick to judge me, any excuse to question what we have. Take the easy way out. Fuck this, I don’t want to have to deal with your shit, no pussy, no matter how sweet, is worth this.”
I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at his harsh words. Shit, I may have really fucked this up. Cade walked up to me and roughly put a hand on my neck.
“Congrats, Gwen. You got what you wanted. I’m gone.”
He kissed me hard and firm, then without a second look, strode out, slamming the door behind him.
I sank onto my bed, thoughts racing through my brain. My nightmare, the first one since Cade had been in my life. Cade’s concerned face, outweighing his anger as he woke me. Crap, I had been such I bitch. He was right, I was quick to judge, but fuck, he knew what I went through. He was gone the whole night, then expected me to believe him without further explanation.
I let out a frustrated little scream, then promptly burst into tears. I should have been glad, his world, the MC, the “club business,” the jealous skanks.
Death.
That was all I wanted to stay away from. But my feelings for Cade ran deep. Like that dreaded L word. I couldn’t explain it. I’d known him for what? Three weeks? And we’d been fighting for half of that time. But I guessed romance novels and every cliché about men and women were right.
Love doesn’t make sense.
Now I’d lost it, before I even knew I had it. But this wasn’t entirely my fault. Cade acted like an asshole.
This was too much to deal with. I turned to hug my pillow, crying myself to sleep.
Chapter Nine
I lay on the sun lounger in my backyard, welcoming the comforting rays of heat against my skin. My “relaxing” playlist sounded in my ears, up as loud as I could get it to scare away any unwelcome thoughts. My hands closed around a cold margarita, my body welcoming the chill in the scorching weather.