Cade pulled me back slightly, to meet my no doubt tear stained eyes.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked softly.
I bit my lip. My silence, my denial had been the only thing keeping me together the past two months.
“I woke up, with you, after last night having such an amazing day with you, and a night with my friends and family. I woke up and I was happy.” I hiccupped. “But how can I be happy? My brother’s dead. His life is over. I’ll never see him again, and now I feel so guilty for being happy because he’s gone.” My voice broke on the last word. “I’ve been trying so hard to be strong, for Mum, for Amy, for Dad, and for the baby.” My breath caught, I tried to calm myself.
Cade yanked me up so I was straddling him, his hands framing my face.
“You don’t need to be strong, baby. I’ve got you. I’m going to take care of you and our Bun.” One of his hands moved to my stomach. “You’re going to be happy and you aren’t going to feel guilty about it, because one day you’re going to realize all your brother wanted in this world was for you to be safe and happy, and he wouldn’t want you stopping living your life because you were clinging onto his.”
His gray eyes searched mine, he looked strong, determined, like he would do anything for me.
“I love you so much,” I whispered.
“Love you too, baby.” His hand pulled me down to his mouth and he slowly kissed me, hands running up to my breasts, caressing them.
I moaned, deepening our kiss, craving him, needing our connection. He roughly squeezed my nipple, sending a rush of heat between my legs. I rubbed myself against his growing erection, both of us already naked. His hand moved between us to my clit. I gripped his shoulders hard as his circled it with his thumb.
“Cade,” I whimpered.
“Come for me, baby,” he growled, eyes never leaving mine.
I cried out as my orgasm rushed over me. Cade didn’t let it stop as he thrust in from underneath me while I was riding the last wave. He grabbed my neck pulling our foreheads together. His mouth met mine for a frenzied kiss before he moved to my nipple, sucking it. The sensation shot through my sensitized breasts and I shuddered.
“You’re going to come again, Gwen,” Cade commanded roughly.
I didn’t answer, but I felt myself building, Cade clutched my hips pounding into me hard and deep. I managed to stifle a scream as I came, feeling myself clenching around him milking his release. I collapsed on top of him, rather clumsily, with my belly between us.
Cade lifted me off him, tucking me into his side, pulling my leg over his body. I felt him dripping from between my legs. So could he, because he slipped his hand down there, I shuddered, still feeling sensitive.
“My cum dripping from your pussy, my baby in your belly, fucking perfect,” he grunted, bringing his fingers to my lips.
I opened my mouth and sucked, tasting our combined fluids.
Cade claimed my mouth. “Still the hottest piece I’ve ever had. I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.”
I rested my chin on his shoulder. “You won’t be saying that when I’m in my third trimester, when I’m fat with swollen feet and a screaming bitch because I can’t fit into heels,” I told him seriously.
“You won’t be fat, you’re fuckin’ pregnant and beautiful. And I’ll just have to find a way to keep your mind off your feet,” he declared, rubbing my breasts thoughtfully.
“Well, right now my mind is on food. Bacon in particular, with banana and maple syrup.”
He laughed and I laughed too. Not letting myself feel guilty. Letting myself live.
Half an hour and a shower later, I was happily munching on my plate of deliciousness, my breakdown a distant memory. Cade sitting beside me, chomping on some eggs, helped a lot.
“Sweetheart, are you sure you want to eat that for breakfast? That baby needs some nutrients,” my mother asked me, entering the kitchen. She looked down at my plate with a raised eyebrow.
“Banana is full of potassium, Mum,” I declared.
“And what is bacon and maple syrup full of?” she countered, setting a green tea beside me.
“Happiness,” I said without missing a beat.
Cade chuckled beside me and Mum shook her head with a smile.
“Where are Dad and Amy?” I asked between mouthfuls.
It was after ten and Amy was usually down here inhaling her eighth cup of coffee by now. My father could be anywhere, considering he was up at six.
“Your father, believe it or not, is teaching Amy how to ride a quad bike.”
My mouth dropped open, luckily I had swallowed my food already.
“No way?” I pushed my chair back, my breakfast forgotten. “I’ve gotta see this!”
“They’re out at the back paddock, you want to take the truck?” Mum smiled. I was guessing she’d already seen the spectacle.
I grabbed my jacket, slipping on some gumboots, Pink Hunter boots, mind you.
“No, I’ll just take a bike.” I glanced at Cade, who, up until now, had been smirking into his breakfast, now he was glaring at me.
I gestured the universal “come on” at him. “Hurry up, don’t you want to see this? We’ve got two more bikes in the shed.”
I yanked up my second boot and straightened, opening the door. Moving at his usual macho speed of light, Cade was beside me, blocking my way, arms crossed. Now it was my turn to frown.
“What you doing, big man? Put your boots on or I’m leaving without you.” I was already figuring out tactics to get around him.
“You’re not going anywhere on a fuckin’ bike,” he declared.
I paused, mid tickling strategy. “What are you talking about? It’s the quickest way to get up there.”
“Jesus Christ, Gwen, you’re almost five months pregnant you aren’t getting on a four wheeler,” Cade all but exploded.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed, considering my belly’s grown a bit. Its not like I’m hopping on a dirt bike to go trail riding. It’s a four wheeler and it’s pretty much straight flat to get to the paddock,” I told him impatiently.
“It’s not safe,” he bit out through gritted teeth.
“It’s no less safe than driving in a car, I’ve been on four wheelers since I was a kid, Cade. I know what I’m doing.” I glared at him. “Mum, a little help here, tell him,” I whined, looking over to the woman that should have be sticking up for me, given she birthed me, but the kitchen was empty. “That witch, she got out of here as soon as this started. My own mother,” I muttered, disgusted.
I tried to push at Cade’s rock hard abs while trying not to run my hands under his t-shirt and forget about the whole thing. What was I angry about again?
“For fuck’s sake, Gwen, you’re arguing about our child’s safety here, just take the fucking truck.” His voice was a near yell.
Oh yeah that’s why. “Our child is not in any danger. I’m not an idiot, I don’t go more than thirty and stick to the even terrain. And Dad or Mum are usually always with me,” I told him defensively.
“What?” His voice turned dangerously quiet.
Oh shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have alluded to the fact I had already been doing this for months.