I cleaned the chest of drawers in the room next. Unfortunately at the moment I only had the panties I’d died in and so today I would be on an urgent excursion back to the fell for lots of underwear, something else I’d completely forgotten yesterday.
I’d dropped all the dusty bedlinen in the hall, and I pulled down the curtains and nets next. It was all very frilly, but in the interests of not being wasteful I’d send it to be cleaned and keep it, at least for the time being. I had other things that were a priority, one being the mess that was my bathroom.
For the next few hours, I cleaned everything in the bedroom until all the cloths I’d bought were black with grime, but the windows and sills and furniture now sparkled. I needed a vacuum cleaner urgently. I’d forgotten yesterday. The old Hoover I’d found in a cupboard with its full dust bag wasn’t going to cut it. I needed a modern day unwired vacuum cleaner and a carpet cleaner.
The list on my app was getting longer and longer, and yet I was getting happier.
Flinging myself down on the dusty sofa, (what did it matter, I was grey with grime anyway?) I put my feet up and had a think about what had happened over the last day or two.
From the strangers in the bookstore, to my date. To almost being drained by a vampire, to becoming the Queen of an old house, with Death and wayward souls as my companions. Just outside a village that no one human knew about, with cursed inhabitants and a cupcake shop.
And though part of me felt like this couldn’t be real, couldn’t be happening to me, most of me felt like this was where I’d always needed to be.
Instead of feeling unsettled, I felt like this was right. Walking over to the bookcase in the room, I found ten books on the shelf, along with a note.
Mya,
I figured you’d have had enough of the supernatural for one day, so I have chosen you some chick lit titles. However, if I’m wrong, please consult the library app I’ve sent to your phone and put in a request.
The Librarian.
No, she was quite right. I’d had more than enough of thinking about supes. But she had chosen a chick lit title about a cupcake café as one of the choices, so I laid back down on the sofa with that and sat and read the whole thing.
Smiling as I reached ‘The End’, I decided I should really attempt to get myself clean before I went to the kitchen for my morning blood bag, ie breakfast, as the ‘chimney sweep’ look was unlikely to come into fashion anytime soon.
I couldn’t get the shower to work at all, so I cleaned out the awful cast iron bath the best I could and ran a bath. The system creaked in protest and managed to fill a quarter of the bath full of hot water before it refused to give me any more. It would have to do. With no soaps or shampoo, I just climbed in and scrubbed myself with my hands, annoyed with myself for not taking Death’s shampoo when he’d offered it. Then I realised I was in the bath, but I didn’t have a towel.
“Oh fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,” I yelled.
I watched helplessly, my body frozen in place with surprise, as a black mist started to descend through the ceiling. As it morphed into a familiar male shape, I shrieked, crossing my legs and hiding my boobs with my hands.
When he appeared he had his hands across his eyes. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Mya, but one, I wanted to make sure you were okay, and two, you need to mind your language.”
“Are you saying I can’t swear?” I think that could be a hard limit if that was the case.
“You can swear, but just not quite as much as you are doing. Those down below won’t mind a jot, but the peeps above, who call in now and again, aren’t as keen. So, if you could just reduce your use of the f-word.”
“Suck off.”
His mouth curled upwards at the edge.
“Suck you, and suck this stupid bathroom, and the fact I don’t have a sucking towel.”
Death dropped his hands and then looked shocked. What had he expected to see?
“Oh my. Sorry, sorry. I just thought you were mistaken and that there’d be one in here somewhere, but you’re right, there isn’t, and I’ll go now and be back in a moment with a clean towel or two.”
“And some shampoo and shower gel.”
He disappeared back up through the ceiling and then returned shortly after through the bathroom door. Clearly shampoo and shower gel didn’t do the wispy conversion.
“It’s a bit late covering your eyes now,” I said as he held the bottles over his eyes and began banging his body into the toilet on his way towards me.
He moved the bottles away, making sure to keep his eyes on my face. “I’ll just give you these and then leave you to it.”
“Nice try, Big D, but I won’t be moving my hands to accept the bottles. Put them on the bath side.”
“Oh gosh, of course.” He put them down and turning, put the bath and hand towels he’d brought down onto the closed toilet seat.
“Thanks, D. Want to meet for breakfast at eight?”
He spun around, looking pleasantly surprised. I’d just reached for the goddamn shower gel.
“Y- yes, b- breastfast, I mean breakfast.”
He misted out through the ceiling again. I should have felt embarrassed, but after the past day’s occurrences it had given me a much-needed giggle.
Deciding that Death would no doubt still be embarrassed over seeing my boobs, I put on a black baggy sweatshirt and some leggings with no chance whatsoever of seeing even a hint of tit.
I walked up the stairs and into the kitchen. Death hadn’t arrived yet, but Spence was there nursing a cup of coffee.
“Morning, Spence.”
“Morning, Queen. How was your first night?”
“Not bad, though tonight will be a lot better once I’m not sharing a room with dust bunnies. Never did want a pet.”
The table rocked as Spence put his mug back on it.
“Does this table need repair?” I looked around for a piece of card. Opening the freezer, I tore off part of a fish finger box, folded it, and put it under the leg so it stopped rocking.
“Thank you. That’s been annoying me for years.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Would you, if you had a wooden leg?”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing and Spence joined in. Just as Death walked in looking broodier than ever.
I started drinking my blood. “Do you want a topper in that?” Spence asked.
“No, she doesn’t. She needs to work. There’s only you allowed rum with your morning coffee and that’s because I’ve tried and failed to get you to change your ways,” Death glared.
“Someone’s got up on the wrong side of the bed,” I whispered to Spence.
“I. Don’t. Sleep.” More glaring.
“Why are you in such a mood this morning?” I asked him.
“It’s my natural state.”
“Is this a defence mechanism because you saw my boobs this morning?”
“Mya!”
I shrugged. Spence’s face lit up with glee.
“How? How did he see them? Can I have a turn? I want to see a tit.”
“There’s one right there.” I pointed to Death.
“I just came to let you know that I have some business to attend to today. Therefore, I won’t be around until this evening. Is there anything you need from me before I depart? Any questions?”