Glancing at the table that was cleared off this morning after breakfast, I notice a newspaper sitting on the opposite end. I’m curious because I don’t remember leaving the paper there. In fact, I know my husband took the paper with him. Thinking back, I recall there was an article that he wanted to continue reading, which was why I had cleared off the table before I left the house. So where did this paper come from? I pick up the paper and realize it is the London Gazette.
And why do we have a British newspaper in the house?
I read the headline.
Lt. Benjamin Stanley’s Body Found by Local Famer in Norfolk Second Son to the Earl of Derby is Dead Missing in Action Case Closed
I sit down in the nearest chair. “Oh, Ben.”
Memories of the last five years come back to haunt me. So many lives… dead, gone from this earth, but never forgotten.
Was this my fault?
Chapter 2
Saint Petersburg, Russia
August 1914
“Yekaterina!” Anastasia calls after me. She is six years younger than me, and of all my cousins, she is the one I get along with the best. She has always been my favorite. She tells me we are kindred spirits all the time. I turn back to face her and realize she is right. We are kindred spirits. She has a special place in my heart, and she always will.
I am Princess Yekaterina Alexandrovna of Russia, and Tsar Nicholas II is my uncle. Anastasia is his youngest daughter and my best friend.
To say our family is privileged is an understatement. When you are part of the imperial family of Russia, all of life’s luxuries are yours. I have so many dresses. I attend the finest ballets and am served the most decadent meals. It is very easy to take this life for granted, and I try very hard to remember that our luxuries are a privilege and they could be gone in a blink of an eye.
While the imperial family benefits from these things, the people of Russia do not. Many have lost everything because Russia has suffered from one revolution to the next for the last ten years. The Russian Empire encompasses many regions, like Poland and Finland. There are many diverse nationalities making up the population. Because of this diversity, these groups want regional autonomy, and thus, Russia has suffered great political conflict over the years.
Our people are starving and homeless, left to fend for themselves in the bitter cold. It makes my heart hurt to think of people in such dire circumstances, circumstances I would not wish upon my worst enemy. My mother constantly reminds me not to take what we have for granted. She tries very hard to teach me humility. She told me once that most of our people will never have what we have: warm clothes, comfortable beds, and abundance of food, not to mention parties and pretty dresses. It makes me so sad. Every day, I wish for things to change for the people of Russia.
Father talks of war and how it always brings change. Unfortunately, my father believes a war will make things worse for our people. I find this hard to understand because it is my understanding that Russia has the largest army in the world. When I mentioned this to my father, he retorts that although our army is large, our poor roads and railways make the deployment of soldiers difficult and, in some cases, almost impossible.
Russia is in a state of unrest. Many of our industrial workforce have been on strike at one point or another, halting production of many necessities. The decline in industry and the lack of food has caused strife among the Russian people, and they blame my uncle, Tsar Nicholas II. If they only knew him. He is kind and loving and only wants what’s best for his people. I realize they do not understand. They do not see that even though he lives behind the palace walls, he suffers the same way they do. They will never know how much he cares for them or how he hurts when they hurt. They will never know how he and my aunt suffer from Alexi’s illness. My uncle is burdened beyond anything I could imagine.
“Yekaterina!” my cousin calls to me again, and I am taken out of my thoughts.
“Ana, I’m coming,” I reply, still a little distracted from my thoughts. Her sisters are always off on their own, and her brother is so sick, sometimes I feel I am all she has. But even though I am nineteen and she is only thirteen, I thoroughly enjoy spending time with her. I make a point to visit and play with her at least once a week, but Father tells me my visits will be ending soon. It is not safe for me to be out on the streets, no matter what time of day it is. Angst and turmoil surround us, and he feels I am safer at home. The very fact I am a member of the imperial family makes me target to the many who resent my uncle.
When I enter the parlor, she cries, “Yekaterina! What took you so long?”
I walk to her and give her a hug. “I’m sorry, Ana. What is wrong?”
“Mama and Papa are crying. They have received horrible news today, and it frightens me.”
I kneel in front of her. “What has happened?” I ask.
“Papa says we are at war with Germany.” Tears well in her eyes, and she says, “What does this mean, Rina? Is my papa going away? Are we all going to die?” Anastasia has always shortened my name to Rina, and thus, I call her Ana. Everything in our lives is so proper, changing our names in a more casual way gives us a bond. It reminds us we are just people, like everyone else. If only everyone outside our family would see that. Humility.
My heart sinks at the news. “It means, my dear one, that our lives are about to change drastically.” I know what this means for our country and our family, so I am scared too, but I do everything in my power so that she doesn’t see it. She is too young and doesn’t understand the ramifications of this news.
When the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife were assassinated several weeks ago, Father talked of imminent war. He was certain, insisting their assassination opened Pandora’s box and it would be years before it closed again. I tried to convince myself it would not come to what he said, but I knew deep down in my heart he was right. Papa is always right about these things. And if one just steps back to look at the chaos in the world right now, they will see it too. Countries are pitted against each other, trying to gain more power. Leaders are fighting against their own families. Revolutions and poverty have struck more countries than Russia. How will we all ever survive?
I try my best to not let Ana see my worry. I put my arm around her and say, “You must run along and be with your parents. They need their children with them, and I must go home. My parents need me to be home, knowing I am safe as well.”
“But, Rina?” she asks in protest. “I’m scared, Rina. Please do not leave.”
“Do as I say, please. I must return to my family as well. We should be with our families at a time like this. Now run along.”
She scowls at me. “But you’re my family!” she cries. I love her to pieces, but she can be so stubborn. As my father would say, there’s a Romanov for you. I know she doesn’t understand the gravity of what has happened, and I realize I have to be more hardhanded with her.
“Ana, you know what I mean. Now do as you’re told,” I say sternly.
She pouts and turns to leave. At least she listened this time. I call for my coat, hat, and gloves and ask to be taken home. I’m afraid of what I may find when I get there, but I know it is the safest place for me.